Making the first move is liberating. Sometimes, you just need to ignore those little voices that spend so much energy talking you from taking first steps. Just slap them away, totally off from your mind. Or stop procrastinating, or thinking of waiting for others. Think, process, weight, then go do it, if it that is what you want. Especially if it is a harmless action.
I had waited to be looked up for. I had unconsciously imposed this silent rule of not looking for my primary schoolmates in this application FB, simply because I didn't that they matter that much in my life, now. We had drifted so far apart for so long, never bothered to keep in touch. That had started when we were in secondary school, itself.
Even though some of us still do meet a few times weekly, during after school tuition classes, we barely had anything in common to talk. At least, at that time, I didn't think that I had anything worth enough to say to them. This was surprising as we were all quite close during our primary days. They all still are, I believe, except for me, since I was the odd one that went to another secondary school. Not inclined to nurture those relationships then and with the weirdness of my teenage years, soon, we really barely spoke to each other.
So when FB surfaced, I was only a few clicks away to looking them up, once one of them got me into her orbit. She had most of them in her list of friends. All I had to do was take advantage of her diligence in looking up for old friends and look them up through her list. Yet, I waited. I had thought, they were of not much importance and I would not really remember them. I waited for them to look me up instead, to add me. Few did, most didn't.
I'm not sure what made me change my mind, but a couple days ago, I decided to add them, one by one, those that I can recall. Those that especially were part of my primary days and those who were in and out of my secondary days. They were, of course, part of the details in the mould that made me who I am today, much as I would like to forget, or fail to remember. I can't make up my mind which.
One by one, they accepted. No questions asked. Best part was, more invites came in, I hope. So far, one came. But then I had added quite a number of them. Only those who used nicknames and registered vaguely in my memory and refused to parade their faces, I chose to abstain sending my invitation. One (good) that turn out from this, is my twelve year old self is now officially in FB. I'm probably the subject of giggles and snickers for a while for my fellow friends who did get the wonderful opportunity to meet my younger self. Hoping that it would not last nor make lasting imprints in their minds.
We are now connected through that one photo, the group of primary friends. That one scandalous photo. That one that evoked so much shocked from all of us, but with fondest. Making the first move had been a very good idea. Very liberating, for me. To be free of a foolish rule impounded by the inane subconscious of my mind. I had just now only advised a fellow friend to do the same, if she wants to have them in her list, as well. No loss, but much to gain.
I had waited to be looked up for. I had unconsciously imposed this silent rule of not looking for my primary schoolmates in this application FB, simply because I didn't that they matter that much in my life, now. We had drifted so far apart for so long, never bothered to keep in touch. That had started when we were in secondary school, itself.
Even though some of us still do meet a few times weekly, during after school tuition classes, we barely had anything in common to talk. At least, at that time, I didn't think that I had anything worth enough to say to them. This was surprising as we were all quite close during our primary days. They all still are, I believe, except for me, since I was the odd one that went to another secondary school. Not inclined to nurture those relationships then and with the weirdness of my teenage years, soon, we really barely spoke to each other.
So when FB surfaced, I was only a few clicks away to looking them up, once one of them got me into her orbit. She had most of them in her list of friends. All I had to do was take advantage of her diligence in looking up for old friends and look them up through her list. Yet, I waited. I had thought, they were of not much importance and I would not really remember them. I waited for them to look me up instead, to add me. Few did, most didn't.
I'm not sure what made me change my mind, but a couple days ago, I decided to add them, one by one, those that I can recall. Those that especially were part of my primary days and those who were in and out of my secondary days. They were, of course, part of the details in the mould that made me who I am today, much as I would like to forget, or fail to remember. I can't make up my mind which.
One by one, they accepted. No questions asked. Best part was, more invites came in, I hope. So far, one came. But then I had added quite a number of them. Only those who used nicknames and registered vaguely in my memory and refused to parade their faces, I chose to abstain sending my invitation. One (good) that turn out from this, is my twelve year old self is now officially in FB. I'm probably the subject of giggles and snickers for a while for my fellow friends who did get the wonderful opportunity to meet my younger self. Hoping that it would not last nor make lasting imprints in their minds.
We are now connected through that one photo, the group of primary friends. That one scandalous photo. That one that evoked so much shocked from all of us, but with fondest. Making the first move had been a very good idea. Very liberating, for me. To be free of a foolish rule impounded by the inane subconscious of my mind. I had just now only advised a fellow friend to do the same, if she wants to have them in her list, as well. No loss, but much to gain.
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