Momentary madness, I wonder if this is what I'm experiencing now. For days, there has only been one longing my mind. The longing to see someone dear to my heart. I had never known that I could feel so strongly about that person, but I know, now. It's scaring me.
With the knowledge that it would take a miracle to meet up, I had allowed myself to think, dream, see and miss that person. Separated by bodies of oceans made me feel it's safe to let my dreams and fantasies wonder, while living this life. I had not thought for once, perhaps, that he might harbour the same thoughts and wishes the same things. He did, and all hells may be broken loose.
His coming back here, although for a short while, has made me very disorientated. I know I cannot meet up with him, for the obvious reasons. Yet, the desire is so strong, I'm frighten with what the outcome of this visit might lead to. I had never known I could be so focus in wanting something so badly. I was so not in tuned with myself and my desires for so long, maybe.
Timing's not very perfect though. He is touching down days before I'm suppose to start a new job. The bulk of his holidays would be during my first days trying to fit in and adjust. I'm not sure but I really hope to see him. I hope even more that he hope that even stronger, to meet me. It's not good, yet it felt needed.
It's not a closure, but more of an affirmation of things. What are those things, I'm still not really clear of, but yet, that is what I strongly feel. Affirmation. This meeting, at least, would be one of affirmation.
But this is madness at its peak! An affirmation so unneeded, yet needed. I'm terribly afraid of the outcome of this meeting. Whichever way, hearts will be broken to let love will triumph. The question is, which?
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