no overnight change

I have a question which I am not sure of the answer. What should you do if you find yourself suddenly so out of the place from the things that you thought was important to you before this? I am in this predicament now, I think.

It wasn't an overnight change. It was not sudden, not like what I've come across before, people wake up one day, and they realized they have changed. It was not like that at all, but nearly there, in speed. In the past few months, where I have got time on my hands, and with the occurrence of a few things, I find myself continually being distant with my current reality. Things that I thought I had wanted before this, was suddenly not that important to me. My reality does not reflect my dreams, my wants.

Work must give me satisfaction, and meaning. It must fulfill my needs, give bearing to my life, and yet, make good for others. It's not longer satisfying to just bring money back, and zombie my day through, wasting weeks, fritter months, years of my time. I felt satisfied coaching, training, seeing my girls faces when they suddenly got the understanding. It was satisfying, but it was not daily. It was not my main task, but it will be. Very soon, I hope.

Being with someone, is no longer of importance, if we don't see eye to eye, unable to grow. It must be with someone who motivates me, in thoughts and in speech, and in thinking. Pushing me, when I'm not moving. I realize now, I need that, to be spurred, so that I may go ever further. Else, I think that I'm better of spending the time motivating myself, growing my interest and sowing my hardwork for better quality reaps. I heart me now, more. Spurring me is slower, but I have to do it.

Money was not important, in a way, before. Money was something that came with holding a job, never really pushing for more. Yet, now, I think money, and having a substantially comfortable amount is important. No, it's not that I'm suddenly materially hungry, but I was inspired, yes, inspired to provide more for my family. Seeing the success of my pal or even hearing the plans of my buddy to provide for their families, inspired me. I looked myself, and suddenly saw how lacking I had been in providing for my family. It must be looked for now, much more. I want to get a house for them, and then for me, a cosy, little place where my head and brain may go wild, and myself may have wild get-togethers anytime with my friends.

These weren't overnight thought of, but they manifested themselves very rapidly of late within these few months. How to get them are not very clear, yet, but I have started to see them now, and am working towards unraveling them more clearly. Lay them out, like a mind map maybe, to help me see and guide me. It is surely alot.

People change, I changed, so much of lately, that I wonder, how to handle all these. I certainly do not want my changing causing grievous hurt to other lives that revolve around me, supporting me.