noticing

It doesn't feel right not sharing my little evil plan with my other half. Yet, I feel it's for the best. Moving out from where you are staying together doesn't really give a very positive direction on where the relationship is heading towards. He would not be able to take it unselfishly, and I won't be able to tell it well.

I've thought about letting him know that I have the intentions to stay on my own, once I get another job. He had been a little hurt, if that's the word to use, and had asked for the reason. For after all, after staying here for almost a year and half together, what reason could I give? If I had wanted to move out, perhaps earlier I should had done so. Why now?

I could only muster saying that I crave for more privacy and my personal space. And I feel tired staying here, being 'mother' -like to him and the 'maid' -like to this place. I am uncertain if he took that seriously but he didn't really say nothing after that. Perhaps my un-seriousness in saying those to him, didn't make him think that I would actually do it.

He has but started asking what I'm doing of late. I've managed to avoid answering some, while mentioned those norms. I don't want to say too much. He, I believe has started to see, to note, to notice. I will tell, if he asked, straightforwardly. I dread that day to deal the cruel blow to the person who loves me deeply. But that it should be done, soonest. A tired mind grows a weary heart.

Time heals all, the sooner you get burnt, the faster you can start healing and start living. Me the most. All things are falling into place, almost all, one by one, at a time. How I dream them. We should live only with those we share the same dream. Else, we should live happily, one with the world.