I'm in the midst of making one of the toughest decision in my life. This is something that will change my projected future, no doubt. I want to move out. I want to stay on my own. I want to stay not together with my other half.
I had really pondered this for quite a while. Maybe I'm prejudiced in my views, not taking care what the other half might want or giving him time and opportunity to state his case, but I believe here, that the decision to do just such has nothing to do with him.
On the contrary, it has everything to do with me. I feel that the longer I were to be there, to stay there, the worse I would turn into. Everything would be consciously detached from me, nothing will be looked at with fondness anymore, including my other half. The state of my mind is really quite set now. If all is according to plan, later, with another friend, we will be off to some house/apartment hunting.
Of course, tons of things get implicated with this impending move. The fact that we were as long as we are now, and throw in the factor that we stayed for almost a year and half together, this step will surely raised eyebrows of many. Anxious, I am yet, a part of me just doesn't give a damn. Cold-hearted and cruel, b*itch, ungrateful, whatever, throw all your labels to me, I will catch them in good faith but just throw them for you in the appropriate place, the garbage bin.
The obvious implications need not be said here. It is so transparent that even a blind man can guess it, as soon as he smells it. I might regret taking this step, yet, I feel, not taking it, I might regret too. Hence, when two heads' not syncing anymore at all, 0% totally, it's only fair not to drag, to push, to force.
This is not behind your back plot. Hints had been said, although in a jest, but had been said. If he gets shocked, I am truly sorry. I don't feel oblige to inform, prior. Simply, because I don't want to do anymore explanation that I should. Heartless, I try not to be. Understand that please, from the deepest of your heart. If you really love me.
I want to move out, and give myself room to grow, positively. May God bless me, with the bestest and happiest of life's grace.
I had really pondered this for quite a while. Maybe I'm prejudiced in my views, not taking care what the other half might want or giving him time and opportunity to state his case, but I believe here, that the decision to do just such has nothing to do with him.
On the contrary, it has everything to do with me. I feel that the longer I were to be there, to stay there, the worse I would turn into. Everything would be consciously detached from me, nothing will be looked at with fondness anymore, including my other half. The state of my mind is really quite set now. If all is according to plan, later, with another friend, we will be off to some house/apartment hunting.
Of course, tons of things get implicated with this impending move. The fact that we were as long as we are now, and throw in the factor that we stayed for almost a year and half together, this step will surely raised eyebrows of many. Anxious, I am yet, a part of me just doesn't give a damn. Cold-hearted and cruel, b*itch, ungrateful, whatever, throw all your labels to me, I will catch them in good faith but just throw them for you in the appropriate place, the garbage bin.
The obvious implications need not be said here. It is so transparent that even a blind man can guess it, as soon as he smells it. I might regret taking this step, yet, I feel, not taking it, I might regret too. Hence, when two heads' not syncing anymore at all, 0% totally, it's only fair not to drag, to push, to force.
This is not behind your back plot. Hints had been said, although in a jest, but had been said. If he gets shocked, I am truly sorry. I don't feel oblige to inform, prior. Simply, because I don't want to do anymore explanation that I should. Heartless, I try not to be. Understand that please, from the deepest of your heart. If you really love me.
I want to move out, and give myself room to grow, positively. May God bless me, with the bestest and happiest of life's grace.
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