another one down, 4 to go! yes!!
what's that?
But only my assignments submission.
oh, but how many you got to do?
just 8..
8?? & you finished 4! wow! that's 50%!
haha.. yes, but after so long!
so long?? how long?
about 4 months..supposed to complete 8 in that 4 months.
icic. no problem, at least you finished 50% ! :)
yes, u r rite! & now for the next one.
uh-oh..wat's the rush?
rush? not rush, but push!
oh, why the push then?
push, so that i wont be lazy, lazy & lazy!
hehe..but it's alrite to be lazy :p
no, it's not alrite.
y?
been lazy too long. it's time to get up & move!
haha..ok, get up then, MOVE! eerrr..wat r u doing here then?
::pingpong thoughts from my brain::
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
which blog..
Which blog is without the option to be colourful?
Which blog has of late been drowned in the same colour scheme?
Which blog has now been reduced to monotonous outlook?
Which blog badly needs a makeover?
Which blog needs more colours?
Which blog needs more font types and size for its various posts?
Which blog's boringness now frustrates its administrator?
Which blog needs more colours?
Which blog wants variety in postings' layout?
Which blog must be cleared of 'one size fits all' disease?
Which blog should be more colour-coded?
Which blog must inspire colourfully?
Which blog bores the eyes?
Answer :
This blog.
Which blog has of late been drowned in the same colour scheme?
Which blog has now been reduced to monotonous outlook?
Which blog badly needs a makeover?
Which blog needs more colours?
Which blog needs more font types and size for its various posts?
Which blog's boringness now frustrates its administrator?
Which blog needs more colours?
Which blog wants variety in postings' layout?
Which blog must be cleared of 'one size fits all' disease?
Which blog should be more colour-coded?
Which blog must inspire colourfully?
Which blog bores the eyes?
Answer :
This blog.
the needed had been done
What needed to be told, had been told last night. There were not any signs of any emotion, merely two ears receiving the information, and the receptors lead them home to the center processing unit of that body. If the receptors had triggered something in that CPU, I did not catch it. It was like talking to a wall, devoid of any indication of understanding what had transpired and incompetent to demonstrate any feelings or reactions.
Perhaps what I said, was not necessary to be said. But I had wanted to say it, I had said it, and I felt better. At least, that CPU now have the slight idea of what went on in my brain for a while in the past. Nothing should be done, or can be done to change the orientation of what I felt and how strongly I feel about it, even now. It is a personal reaction, view and feeling, difficult to be changed. Or influenced to go the opposite way.
I am not sorry, if the no reaction maybe due to the feeling of hurt overlapping all other capability to evoke a suitable reaction. Honestly, until now, I am not sorry nor do I think that I am wrong. If all, I am thankful. I get a painted picture of what my future must be, free. Over-reacting does not count here.
I must be responsible for me. I must dare to live alone. To be truly alone, to know what is it like to be truly lonely. Yet, I believe, and will make sure, I will not be unsurrounded and unsupported, in spirit, in mind, and in body, by my lovely friends, how few they may be. I will be lonely sometimes, but at the lowest moments, I will still be able to survive, fed by memories. Oh, I must.
Perhaps what I said, was not necessary to be said. But I had wanted to say it, I had said it, and I felt better. At least, that CPU now have the slight idea of what went on in my brain for a while in the past. Nothing should be done, or can be done to change the orientation of what I felt and how strongly I feel about it, even now. It is a personal reaction, view and feeling, difficult to be changed. Or influenced to go the opposite way.
I am not sorry, if the no reaction maybe due to the feeling of hurt overlapping all other capability to evoke a suitable reaction. Honestly, until now, I am not sorry nor do I think that I am wrong. If all, I am thankful. I get a painted picture of what my future must be, free. Over-reacting does not count here.
I must be responsible for me. I must dare to live alone. To be truly alone, to know what is it like to be truly lonely. Yet, I believe, and will make sure, I will not be unsurrounded and unsupported, in spirit, in mind, and in body, by my lovely friends, how few they may be. I will be lonely sometimes, but at the lowest moments, I will still be able to survive, fed by memories. Oh, I must.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
@jsb
I noticed something, increasingly. I will not blog when there are people around me. Especially when around those who knows me. My obsession for being private clashes with the need of having to write here. Since I do not have the privacy of having my personal space, it's not easy trying to hold back what is swirling in your head when there are people hovering all about you. At those times, I really feel that they are like sandflies, nuisance.
I want to continue to be known with my alias here, as I think it's best that way. I personally feel that people might just get hurt upon reading what I wrote, knowing how I feel on certain facets of my life and the paths that it crosses. Since I do not want to limit my writing nor censure myself when write, using an alias is just the best arrangement.
Those who were casted, and might continue to be casted in my writes or even those who might potentially be casted in the future, might stumble on this blog. I hope they take this with much humour. I meant no offend. Just know, this is my writes, like a diary, just online.
The two who know just who I am, thanks for your continuous support. jsb will continue to pollute the literacy world with her ramblings.
I want to continue to be known with my alias here, as I think it's best that way. I personally feel that people might just get hurt upon reading what I wrote, knowing how I feel on certain facets of my life and the paths that it crosses. Since I do not want to limit my writing nor censure myself when write, using an alias is just the best arrangement.
Those who were casted, and might continue to be casted in my writes or even those who might potentially be casted in the future, might stumble on this blog. I hope they take this with much humour. I meant no offend. Just know, this is my writes, like a diary, just online.
The two who know just who I am, thanks for your continuous support. jsb will continue to pollute the literacy world with her ramblings.
then and now
My greatest fear for this past 3 months had come true. I awoke late today. When I came about, the clock was indicating quarter pass nine this morning. I was supposed to be in class by nine, ten pass nine to stretch it. Worse was today was the last day of class, and that my lecturer was starting a new topic today.
It was our own responsibility to turn up for class on time, if at all. No attendance were taken or recorded and you will not be penalize if you were late to class or decided not show up. Assignments of free of datelines. Even, if you decide to not complete them or drop out from the course, no one will reprimand you, or counsel you, or psycho you or force you to the 'correct' action. It was really up to you to behave and discipline yourself. The college management cares only for your payments. It not all bad, though. The lecturers do try to make you realize that there are much to gain if you complete your course.
This classroom rules and conducts were certainly different during my university days. Then, it was made compulsory for us to turn up for classes, at least coming in perhaps for 80% of classroom lectures. We had to complete the labs as well. Definitely, should today's embarrassing situation came up during then, I would certainly not have hesitated to just give up and would have went back to sleep. That is the stark contrast that I noticed with my behaviour towards learning then and now.
I pulled myself up, and quickly, rushed to class. By the time I got myself seated in class, lecturer was already almost done imparting her knowledge and opinions on the topic. Of course, latecomers would not be reprimanded. Late as I was, I just did not want to miss class and the lectures.
In all honesty, I was really proud of myself making the decision. It was unfortunately that I had to miss the beginning moments of learning, but at the same time, I was really happy with myself. Even when friends asked, I managed to not hide the truth but honestly admitted the actual reason. I did not regret turning up for class today, I gained tons still, although not fully. Really, it was the case of better late than never.
Perhaps, this is a sign of me growing, taking responsibilities for what I had decided on. After all, I signed up for this course myself. Now, for finishing up the assignments.
It was our own responsibility to turn up for class on time, if at all. No attendance were taken or recorded and you will not be penalize if you were late to class or decided not show up. Assignments of free of datelines. Even, if you decide to not complete them or drop out from the course, no one will reprimand you, or counsel you, or psycho you or force you to the 'correct' action. It was really up to you to behave and discipline yourself. The college management cares only for your payments. It not all bad, though. The lecturers do try to make you realize that there are much to gain if you complete your course.
This classroom rules and conducts were certainly different during my university days. Then, it was made compulsory for us to turn up for classes, at least coming in perhaps for 80% of classroom lectures. We had to complete the labs as well. Definitely, should today's embarrassing situation came up during then, I would certainly not have hesitated to just give up and would have went back to sleep. That is the stark contrast that I noticed with my behaviour towards learning then and now.
I pulled myself up, and quickly, rushed to class. By the time I got myself seated in class, lecturer was already almost done imparting her knowledge and opinions on the topic. Of course, latecomers would not be reprimanded. Late as I was, I just did not want to miss class and the lectures.
In all honesty, I was really proud of myself making the decision. It was unfortunately that I had to miss the beginning moments of learning, but at the same time, I was really happy with myself. Even when friends asked, I managed to not hide the truth but honestly admitted the actual reason. I did not regret turning up for class today, I gained tons still, although not fully. Really, it was the case of better late than never.
Perhaps, this is a sign of me growing, taking responsibilities for what I had decided on. After all, I signed up for this course myself. Now, for finishing up the assignments.
Friday, September 26, 2008
friday's starter
Seated in front of her computer at the desk, she pushed the curtains away slightly, peeking outside from the window to her left.
No sunshine, she thought. Must be going to rain soon, just like the couple of days before. For the past 2 days, it had drizzled during the afternoons. They were not heavy drizzle, but enough to wet the pavements. Mother Nature, however, was generous with the thunder. If you hadn't known, you would have thought that it was pouring for the last 2 days, judging from the thunder you would have heard. Luckily that weren't the case. She dislike thunder and lightnings, because in the worse conditions, she had to switch off her computer and unplug the telephone line.
Thoughtfully, she made a mental note in her head, to remind herself to switch off the power to the computer and disconnect the phone line. We don't want anything burn here, not now, she had thought.
Then she remembered the laundry line. Is there anything hanging there? She went through her head, trying to remember hard. Oh ya, there are a few things hanging since the day before. She was undecided whether to bring them in now, or leave them there, since it was under the shade anyway. Another day, she told herself, thinking that they won't get wet anyhow. But must remember to wash the clothes later, don't want them to soaked too long, she had reminded herself. Involuntarily, she heard her mother's nagging at the back of her head, telling her to not to soak her clothes too long as that would spoil them. She smiled. You win, she had thought.
Still sitting at in front of her computer, she reclined back. Papers were everywhere. Notes, reading materials, her little notebook, and her draft were untidily covering the space of the working desk. There were some notes and a stapler at the side of her bag, on the floor. Her coffee cup had been empty since a while ago, but was still on the desk, beside her computer, her phone nearby. Only her table lamp was switch on, providing the only source of light in the room.
She had wanted it that way. It helped her focus her thoughts to what she had to do. It helped her get her eyes off the bed, pillows and her soft comfortable blanket. Like it could, she teased herself. The phone rang. Instinctively, she reached out for it, the distinct ringing tone identified the caller. She answered the call, pacing about the room while chatting on nothing particularly. After a couple of minutes, still on the phone, she laid down on the bed, stretching out. Occasionally, she let out chuckles, tickled by jokes made by the caller. About twenty minutes later, she hung up.
She went back in front of her computer. Fired up, she started typing. Free writing now, she had thought.
No sunshine, she thought. Must be going to rain soon, just like the couple of days before. For the past 2 days, it had drizzled during the afternoons. They were not heavy drizzle, but enough to wet the pavements. Mother Nature, however, was generous with the thunder. If you hadn't known, you would have thought that it was pouring for the last 2 days, judging from the thunder you would have heard. Luckily that weren't the case. She dislike thunder and lightnings, because in the worse conditions, she had to switch off her computer and unplug the telephone line.
Thoughtfully, she made a mental note in her head, to remind herself to switch off the power to the computer and disconnect the phone line. We don't want anything burn here, not now, she had thought.
Then she remembered the laundry line. Is there anything hanging there? She went through her head, trying to remember hard. Oh ya, there are a few things hanging since the day before. She was undecided whether to bring them in now, or leave them there, since it was under the shade anyway. Another day, she told herself, thinking that they won't get wet anyhow. But must remember to wash the clothes later, don't want them to soaked too long, she had reminded herself. Involuntarily, she heard her mother's nagging at the back of her head, telling her to not to soak her clothes too long as that would spoil them. She smiled. You win, she had thought.
Still sitting at in front of her computer, she reclined back. Papers were everywhere. Notes, reading materials, her little notebook, and her draft were untidily covering the space of the working desk. There were some notes and a stapler at the side of her bag, on the floor. Her coffee cup had been empty since a while ago, but was still on the desk, beside her computer, her phone nearby. Only her table lamp was switch on, providing the only source of light in the room.
She had wanted it that way. It helped her focus her thoughts to what she had to do. It helped her get her eyes off the bed, pillows and her soft comfortable blanket. Like it could, she teased herself. The phone rang. Instinctively, she reached out for it, the distinct ringing tone identified the caller. She answered the call, pacing about the room while chatting on nothing particularly. After a couple of minutes, still on the phone, she laid down on the bed, stretching out. Occasionally, she let out chuckles, tickled by jokes made by the caller. About twenty minutes later, she hung up.
She went back in front of her computer. Fired up, she started typing. Free writing now, she had thought.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
my aeroplane song
This is my aeroplane song, throughout the music, you can hear the similar sound made when an aeroplane is passing by over head, especially during the introduction and bridge areas of the song. Also, with my restricted understand of chinese, I understood one part of a line the when I first heard this song, but that person is not me.
Title : 開不了口 Kai bu liao kou
Music : Jay Chou
Lyricist : Vivian Hsu
才離開沒多久就開始 擔心今天的妳過得好不好
cai li kai mei duo jiu jiu kai shi dan xin jin tian de ni guo de hao bu hao
整個畫面是妳 想妳想的睡不著
zheng ge hua mian shi ni xiang ni xiang de shui bu zhao
嘴嘟嘟那可愛的模樣 還有在妳身上香香的味道
zui du du na ke ai de mo yang hai you zai ni shen shang xiang xiang de wei dao
我的快樂是妳 想妳想的都會笑
wo de kuai le shi ni xiang ni xiang de dou hui xiao
沒有妳在我有多難熬
mei you ni zai wo you duo nan ao
(沒有妳在我有多難熬多煩惱)
(mei you ni zai wo you duo nan ao duo fan nao)
沒有妳煩我有多煩惱
mei you ni fan wo you duo fan nao
(沒有妳煩我有多煩惱多難熬)
(mei you ni fan wo you duo fan nao duo nan ao)
穿過雲層 我試著努力向妳奔跑
chuan guo yun ceng wo shi zhe nu li xiang ni ben pao
愛才送到 妳卻已在別人懷抱
ai cai song dao ni que yi zai bie ren huai bao
就是開不了口讓她知道
jiu shi kai bu liao kou rang ta zhi dao
我一定會呵護著妳也逗妳笑
wo yi ding hui he hu zhe ni ye dou ni xiao
妳對我有多重要 我後悔沒讓妳知道
ni dui wo you duo zhong yao wo hou hui mei rang ni zhi dao
安靜的聽妳撒嬌 看妳睡著一直到老
an jing de ting ni sa jiao kan ni shui zhao yi zhi dao lao
就是開不了口讓她知道
jiu shi kai bu liao kou rang ta zhi dao
就是那麼簡單幾句我辦不到
jiu shi na me jian dan ji ju wo ban bu dao
整顆心懸在半空我只能夠遠遠看著
zheng ke xin xuan zai ban kong wo zhi neng gou yuan yuan kan zhao
這些我都做得到但那個人已經不是我
zhe xie wo dou zuo de dao dan na ge ren yi jing bu shi wo
Translated to (I can't vouched for the accuracy of this though) :
My mind’s filled with you, as I think about you I can’t fall asleep
Your cute expression when you pout, and also the fragrance on your body
I’ve only left for a short while and already started to worry about how you’re doing today
My happiness is you, as I think about you I always smile
When you’re not here, it’s so hard for me to bear
(When you’re not here, it’s so hard for me to bear, so troubled)
When I don’t have you to think about, I am so troubled
(When I don’t have you to think about, I am so troubled, so hard for me to bear)
Breaking through the clouds, I tried hard to run to you
Just when love arrived, you were already in someone else’s arms
I just can’t open my mouth to let her know
I will surely protect you and make you laugh
You are so important to me, I regret not letting you know
Quietly listening to you whine, watching you sleep till we grow old
I just can’t open my mouth to let her know
Those mere simple sentences, I can’t say them
My whole heart hangs in the air, I can only watch from afar
I can do all these things but that person is already not me
Title : 開不了口 Kai bu liao kou
Music : Jay Chou
Lyricist : Vivian Hsu
才離開沒多久就開始 擔心今天的妳過得好不好
cai li kai mei duo jiu jiu kai shi dan xin jin tian de ni guo de hao bu hao
整個畫面是妳 想妳想的睡不著
zheng ge hua mian shi ni xiang ni xiang de shui bu zhao
嘴嘟嘟那可愛的模樣 還有在妳身上香香的味道
zui du du na ke ai de mo yang hai you zai ni shen shang xiang xiang de wei dao
我的快樂是妳 想妳想的都會笑
wo de kuai le shi ni xiang ni xiang de dou hui xiao
沒有妳在我有多難熬
mei you ni zai wo you duo nan ao
(沒有妳在我有多難熬多煩惱)
(mei you ni zai wo you duo nan ao duo fan nao)
沒有妳煩我有多煩惱
mei you ni fan wo you duo fan nao
(沒有妳煩我有多煩惱多難熬)
(mei you ni fan wo you duo fan nao duo nan ao)
穿過雲層 我試著努力向妳奔跑
chuan guo yun ceng wo shi zhe nu li xiang ni ben pao
愛才送到 妳卻已在別人懷抱
ai cai song dao ni que yi zai bie ren huai bao
就是開不了口讓她知道
jiu shi kai bu liao kou rang ta zhi dao
我一定會呵護著妳也逗妳笑
wo yi ding hui he hu zhe ni ye dou ni xiao
妳對我有多重要 我後悔沒讓妳知道
ni dui wo you duo zhong yao wo hou hui mei rang ni zhi dao
安靜的聽妳撒嬌 看妳睡著一直到老
an jing de ting ni sa jiao kan ni shui zhao yi zhi dao lao
就是開不了口讓她知道
jiu shi kai bu liao kou rang ta zhi dao
就是那麼簡單幾句我辦不到
jiu shi na me jian dan ji ju wo ban bu dao
整顆心懸在半空我只能夠遠遠看著
zheng ke xin xuan zai ban kong wo zhi neng gou yuan yuan kan zhao
這些我都做得到但那個人已經不是我
zhe xie wo dou zuo de dao dan na ge ren yi jing bu shi wo
Translated to (I can't vouched for the accuracy of this though) :
My mind’s filled with you, as I think about you I can’t fall asleep
Your cute expression when you pout, and also the fragrance on your body
I’ve only left for a short while and already started to worry about how you’re doing today
My happiness is you, as I think about you I always smile
When you’re not here, it’s so hard for me to bear
(When you’re not here, it’s so hard for me to bear, so troubled)
When I don’t have you to think about, I am so troubled
(When I don’t have you to think about, I am so troubled, so hard for me to bear)
Breaking through the clouds, I tried hard to run to you
Just when love arrived, you were already in someone else’s arms
I just can’t open my mouth to let her know
I will surely protect you and make you laugh
You are so important to me, I regret not letting you know
Quietly listening to you whine, watching you sleep till we grow old
I just can’t open my mouth to let her know
Those mere simple sentences, I can’t say them
My whole heart hangs in the air, I can only watch from afar
I can do all these things but that person is already not me
Where's the ANY key?
I have to admit, after reading this one article, my knowledge and understanding of the basic computer and its related technology ain't that bad, really. I was browsing about the news posting on some website, and came across a piece by a leading news source. The phrase that caught my eye was, get ready :
"Where is the 'ANY' key?"
Oh god! I really felt so funny when I read that. It really caught my attention and compelled me to read further on the article.
Seems like working in a technical support provider or solutions company has its share of humour, especially if you happen to take post at the front line. The all important bridge connecting the majority of us technology-deficient mortals with the IT super brains. It will be questions like above that will make the day seems worthwhile, of course after trying very hard to contain the laughter within while still on the line with the poor confused enquirer. It helps to know that one more person had been fished out in the confusing, but ever morphing, fast-paced world of IT.
Other quotes worth quoting here :
"Why isn't my wireless mouse connected to the computer?".
"Can you reset the Internet for me?"
"Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?"
"How do I get my computer's coffee-cup holder to come out again?" was asked presumably with confusion over the intended use of the CD/DVD ROM.
Yes, please go roll your eyes but do close your gaping mouth. Laugh if you have to, laugh hard. Try to get some work today, though. Come back here, if you need another dose of laughter after being stressed out by your boss. I don't mind.
I had mine just now, starting this day this knowing, I am not zero-brain after all in this world of technology.
["Can you reset the Internet for me?", AFP - Thursday, September 25]
"Where is the 'ANY' key?"
Oh god! I really felt so funny when I read that. It really caught my attention and compelled me to read further on the article.
Seems like working in a technical support provider or solutions company has its share of humour, especially if you happen to take post at the front line. The all important bridge connecting the majority of us technology-deficient mortals with the IT super brains. It will be questions like above that will make the day seems worthwhile, of course after trying very hard to contain the laughter within while still on the line with the poor confused enquirer. It helps to know that one more person had been fished out in the confusing, but ever morphing, fast-paced world of IT.
Other quotes worth quoting here :
"Why isn't my wireless mouse connected to the computer?".
"Can you reset the Internet for me?"
"Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?"
"How do I get my computer's coffee-cup holder to come out again?" was asked presumably with confusion over the intended use of the CD/DVD ROM.
Yes, please go roll your eyes but do close your gaping mouth. Laugh if you have to, laugh hard. Try to get some work today, though. Come back here, if you need another dose of laughter after being stressed out by your boss. I don't mind.
I had mine just now, starting this day this knowing, I am not zero-brain after all in this world of technology.
["Can you reset the Internet for me?", AFP - Thursday, September 25]
Quantity & Quality
Quantity produces quality. If you only write a few things, you're doomed.
Ray Bradbury
You can say I stumbled upon this quote, when I was looking for some quote to include in my essay, just to make sound more professional. This quote will be out of boundaries of my essay, but it certainly made me stood up and got me thinking.
I was doomed, according this to Ray Bradbury. For not writing much, I was doomed. I personally think that I am still doom, albeit not as doomed as before, even though I have made a concerted effort to increase my frequency of writing, via blogging here of course.
But with this Mr Ray Bradbury, I give my agreement. With quantity, one will produce quality. In my shallow thinking, I interpret this as practicing. One needs to practice writing, when you want to write good, or at least, readable. Practice hard, and diligently. Just like any other art, sports or anything at all. Practicing plays a very important role to achieve quality work or skillfulness.
I had that same thought, when I started this blog. Apart of having the need to tame down my thinking, I had wanted to improve on my writing. I chose to blog since I find writing such a hassle these days, especially in the age of personal laptops ownership. I lost tracked of that for while, after a not bad of a start end of last year. That glitch only lasted almost half a year, thankfully. Hopefully, I am now on the right track again, and after this, no glitches from me personally, if I can help it.
I may not be a fair judge, but from the looks of it, it is a little easier to write now, to say things that are in my mind, to string up sentences and make up stories. After all, with my total postings for this month only has exceeded the total postings of earlier months of this year, doesn't that show something? And hey, this blog has a follower now, as much as it may be out of loyalty for friend.
Yes sir, I will continue to write, as long as I can. This is an avenue for free practice. The downside is there are no checkers, teachers to guide. Who cares though as we focus on practice, practice, and practice. Who knows one day, I will find enough materials and words and grammar knowledge and fluidity and courage to start and finish a short story, what with November knocking soon.
Ray Bradbury
You can say I stumbled upon this quote, when I was looking for some quote to include in my essay, just to make sound more professional. This quote will be out of boundaries of my essay, but it certainly made me stood up and got me thinking.
I was doomed, according this to Ray Bradbury. For not writing much, I was doomed. I personally think that I am still doom, albeit not as doomed as before, even though I have made a concerted effort to increase my frequency of writing, via blogging here of course.
But with this Mr Ray Bradbury, I give my agreement. With quantity, one will produce quality. In my shallow thinking, I interpret this as practicing. One needs to practice writing, when you want to write good, or at least, readable. Practice hard, and diligently. Just like any other art, sports or anything at all. Practicing plays a very important role to achieve quality work or skillfulness.
I had that same thought, when I started this blog. Apart of having the need to tame down my thinking, I had wanted to improve on my writing. I chose to blog since I find writing such a hassle these days, especially in the age of personal laptops ownership. I lost tracked of that for while, after a not bad of a start end of last year. That glitch only lasted almost half a year, thankfully. Hopefully, I am now on the right track again, and after this, no glitches from me personally, if I can help it.
I may not be a fair judge, but from the looks of it, it is a little easier to write now, to say things that are in my mind, to string up sentences and make up stories. After all, with my total postings for this month only has exceeded the total postings of earlier months of this year, doesn't that show something? And hey, this blog has a follower now, as much as it may be out of loyalty for friend.
Yes sir, I will continue to write, as long as I can. This is an avenue for free practice. The downside is there are no checkers, teachers to guide. Who cares though as we focus on practice, practice, and practice. Who knows one day, I will find enough materials and words and grammar knowledge and fluidity and courage to start and finish a short story, what with November knocking soon.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
scratching the itch
Occasionally, when we are all grown up, had left the school scene for almost a decade or even more, had gotten use to the robotic existence of the working life, had locked up our childhood aspiration so tightly at the back of our cluttered mind, something would always comeby, giving us a big thud on our heads to awaken us from this on-going slumber. This happened to me. Not sure what, but yes, throw it all to satisfy this.
Harbouring the craziest ultimate dream of being a volunteer around the world, especially in the third world countries, teaching the kids and children and people there, I am now in the midst of obtaining a certification in teaching. I had kept postponing this step for such a long time, that I am a granny in among the young people circle.
It might be too far-fetched, this dream. A silly dream, some might say, if they know. Quitting your job, for a dream, not even a plan had hatched, was the siliest and craziest and most irresponsible thing that I had done in my life. Again. But yes, with all the monies, even not so much of it, I just could not get even a little satisfaction out of it.
And so, here I am, trying to lay out a plan towards that one goal. First, I must make clear the end goals. Then, I will got for it. No, I must. Should I then not like, I would have the gratification of knowing I had scratched that itch, and it's now time to apply the balm and forget about it.
Harbouring the craziest ultimate dream of being a volunteer around the world, especially in the third world countries, teaching the kids and children and people there, I am now in the midst of obtaining a certification in teaching. I had kept postponing this step for such a long time, that I am a granny in among the young people circle.
It might be too far-fetched, this dream. A silly dream, some might say, if they know. Quitting your job, for a dream, not even a plan had hatched, was the siliest and craziest and most irresponsible thing that I had done in my life. Again. But yes, with all the monies, even not so much of it, I just could not get even a little satisfaction out of it.
And so, here I am, trying to lay out a plan towards that one goal. First, I must make clear the end goals. Then, I will got for it. No, I must. Should I then not like, I would have the gratification of knowing I had scratched that itch, and it's now time to apply the balm and forget about it.
politely disagreeing
Saying No does not come easily to some people.
There is a girl whom I am very close to is a testament of this. She agrees to almost everything thrown to her, especially if she was caught off-guard, and the culprits, if I may use that word, are not that close with her. As a result, she got bombed although she could have gotten out of it, she was working for free for her previous company even though she had already started a new position in a new company, she had to listen to my ramblings at sleepover nights, when she could spend more time on nurturing her beauty, and many many more.
It was interesting then, when I got a title to create a lesson on expressing disagreement just last week. It might not be the same thing, but at least, learning how to express negativity politely can help.
I have included here, a few interesting phrases which I found during researching for my phrase bank on this topic. Hopefully, girl, you will find some good use to it. Else, just take them as further useless junk to fill up your brain space. Do continue with the appropriate words/ideas when the ..... starts.
1. I respect your opinion but I (just) think that ....
2. You could be right, but...
3. Perhaps, but I can't help thinking that...
4. You must be joking!
5. You can't be serious!
6. True, but I'm afraid I disagree (with)..
7. I see what you mean but I'm not at all convinced that..
8. Yes, but don't you think that....
The above examples are just some of the many you could use. These are polite ways of expressing disagreement. In the event of not wanting to beat around the bush, a straight NO would be most appropriate.
"No, I don't think ..."
"No, I don't."
or this might also give the same effect, "Well, I (certainly) don't accept that."
Do add the word certainly if you want to give a further emphasize your stand.
When you are just tired, and fed-up, just say, "NO". However, please do not use this when conversing with bosses, if you have not submitted your resignation letter. Also, this is a no-no to family members, especially more to parents ya.
There is a girl whom I am very close to is a testament of this. She agrees to almost everything thrown to her, especially if she was caught off-guard, and the culprits, if I may use that word, are not that close with her. As a result, she got bombed although she could have gotten out of it, she was working for free for her previous company even though she had already started a new position in a new company, she had to listen to my ramblings at sleepover nights, when she could spend more time on nurturing her beauty, and many many more.
It was interesting then, when I got a title to create a lesson on expressing disagreement just last week. It might not be the same thing, but at least, learning how to express negativity politely can help.
I have included here, a few interesting phrases which I found during researching for my phrase bank on this topic. Hopefully, girl, you will find some good use to it. Else, just take them as further useless junk to fill up your brain space. Do continue with the appropriate words/ideas when the ..... starts.
1. I respect your opinion but I (just) think that ....
2. You could be right, but...
3. Perhaps, but I can't help thinking that...
4. You must be joking!
5. You can't be serious!
6. True, but I'm afraid I disagree (with)..
7. I see what you mean but I'm not at all convinced that..
8. Yes, but don't you think that....
The above examples are just some of the many you could use. These are polite ways of expressing disagreement. In the event of not wanting to beat around the bush, a straight NO would be most appropriate.
"No, I don't think ..."
"No, I don't."
or this might also give the same effect, "Well, I (certainly) don't accept that."
Do add the word certainly if you want to give a further emphasize your stand.
When you are just tired, and fed-up, just say, "NO". However, please do not use this when conversing with bosses, if you have not submitted your resignation letter. Also, this is a no-no to family members, especially more to parents ya.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
sneAk AttAck
It has been month of weddings, this 9th month of the Gregorian calendar. So far, I've attended 3 weddings, in 2 weekends! I had to miss one, due to the clash in the date and time, though. Luckily for me, the third weekend of this September month was not booked prior, but the last weekend, yes, you guessed it, there was a another invite. Regretfully, I had to turned down the invitation, as I had classes in the mornings of the weekends. Bless my friend, may she be happily drunk on that night, with her good hubby staying sober to look out for her.
In turning one down, I got another (was this a punishment??) invitation to another wedding. This time, though, the big event has been scheduled next month. Mid of next month. The groom was a former coursemate during our undergraduate days. Which bring me and some of my buddies, to question his motives.
Yes, we did, unfortunately, questioned his sincerity in inviting us to his wedding. Sure, we all were coursemates, and yes, I was quite close with him, back then. Of course, closeness here points to fact that he was one of the guy friends that I had then who would actually talk to me. Yeah, I am that snobbish. Either that I just too intimidating to talk to, or perhaps, I am just to terrible in chinese for the guys, who are majority just too fluent in chinese, to actually have a decent conversation with me without incurring headaches while trying to do speed translation in their heads into english.
That said, upon graduation, we did not keep in touch. This guy and I. This guy and my bunch of buddies, too. No, we were and are still in the same country, our homeland. Yes, perhaps that we might not be in the same state, but I think by the virtue of being in our country, there is not problem to meet up, if we had wanted to. My buddies and I do meet up, occasionally, but yearly, yes, we do meet up, although we were not in the same states then. It is just this year that it got easier for us to arrange for a get-together as most of us are in the capital state. And the groom's has never left the capital state since he got back after obtaining his degree. Go figure.
So imagine our surprise and then the feeling of reservation when we all got invited to his wedding. It was like, what do they call it, a sneak attack, was it, when in war, you got attacked by the enemies when you least expect. I felt that, anyway. The term, we got bombed, really seemed appropriate here.
That said, we had decided, that poor guy must have been desperate in someway. The good naturedness of us buddies had taken the better of us, and upon long deliberation, had made up our minds, to show our support by ayeing to his invitation. After all, he might just fall short of having a spectacular wedding dinner, if we were not there. We are part of his past during his glorious undergraduate days of hair-ironing.
So, that's how we got into having an expensive gathering of sorts for us buddies, next month. Again, hopefully it would be the four ladies, at least, and this time, I hope, drinks away. Not much traveling needed. The headache will be finding a suitable dress and making up for that night. Sigh.
In turning one down, I got another (was this a punishment??) invitation to another wedding. This time, though, the big event has been scheduled next month. Mid of next month. The groom was a former coursemate during our undergraduate days. Which bring me and some of my buddies, to question his motives.
Yes, we did, unfortunately, questioned his sincerity in inviting us to his wedding. Sure, we all were coursemates, and yes, I was quite close with him, back then. Of course, closeness here points to fact that he was one of the guy friends that I had then who would actually talk to me. Yeah, I am that snobbish. Either that I just too intimidating to talk to, or perhaps, I am just to terrible in chinese for the guys, who are majority just too fluent in chinese, to actually have a decent conversation with me without incurring headaches while trying to do speed translation in their heads into english.
That said, upon graduation, we did not keep in touch. This guy and I. This guy and my bunch of buddies, too. No, we were and are still in the same country, our homeland. Yes, perhaps that we might not be in the same state, but I think by the virtue of being in our country, there is not problem to meet up, if we had wanted to. My buddies and I do meet up, occasionally, but yearly, yes, we do meet up, although we were not in the same states then. It is just this year that it got easier for us to arrange for a get-together as most of us are in the capital state. And the groom's has never left the capital state since he got back after obtaining his degree. Go figure.
So imagine our surprise and then the feeling of reservation when we all got invited to his wedding. It was like, what do they call it, a sneak attack, was it, when in war, you got attacked by the enemies when you least expect. I felt that, anyway. The term, we got bombed, really seemed appropriate here.
That said, we had decided, that poor guy must have been desperate in someway. The good naturedness of us buddies had taken the better of us, and upon long deliberation, had made up our minds, to show our support by ayeing to his invitation. After all, he might just fall short of having a spectacular wedding dinner, if we were not there. We are part of his past during his glorious undergraduate days of hair-ironing.
So, that's how we got into having an expensive gathering of sorts for us buddies, next month. Again, hopefully it would be the four ladies, at least, and this time, I hope, drinks away. Not much traveling needed. The headache will be finding a suitable dress and making up for that night. Sigh.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
catch up, me
time had been flying,
it had left me behind,
but not too far,
i have woken up,
i want to give a chase,
but my head is heavy,
my orientation's unstable.
time has flown,
it has left me behind,
but i am catching up,
not too slow, i hope,
i see cumulous clouds,
that i need to blow away,
else i will be stormed.
time is flying,
still leaving me behind,
but i am catching up,
my bearing is still unstable,
my breath still short,
i heaved, and heaved,
with all might for the light.
time is flying,
i am still behind,
but i need to catch up,
my north is maybe here,
i take the lighted path,
but i pray with all my heart,
i will reach my crowning glory!
it had left me behind,
but not too far,
i have woken up,
i want to give a chase,
but my head is heavy,
my orientation's unstable.
time has flown,
it has left me behind,
but i am catching up,
not too slow, i hope,
i see cumulous clouds,
that i need to blow away,
else i will be stormed.
time is flying,
still leaving me behind,
but i am catching up,
my bearing is still unstable,
my breath still short,
i heaved, and heaved,
with all might for the light.
time is flying,
i am still behind,
but i need to catch up,
my north is maybe here,
i take the lighted path,
but i pray with all my heart,
i will reach my crowning glory!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
What is..
What is..
What is...buah keluak?
Buah keluak is a small fruit, if I may call it a fruit. It has a husk, shaped mostly like a stunted small coconut, with the average size of no bigger than a water chestnuts. This fruit will find it's way onto our dining table especially during festive seasons, and during special occasions. Normally cooked in tons of pepper and chilis and other spices, with chicken pieces, the fruits' husk will have to be knocked to create a small opening so that the inner fruit, the meat, so that when kuah can get in while cooking and also we easily eat the meat. The husk, of course, cannot be eaten. Triple sedap food for me, although, I realize that I then to visit the loo more often after eating this dish.
What is...Bak with chilis and timun?
Slices of boiled pork meat, always with a little layer of fat though, mix with the mixture of pounded chilis, onions, belacan, and others, and slices of cucumber. Simple, a little like rojak, just mix all the prepared ingredients, once you have them ready. Then squeeze enough lime juice over the dish. Very nice and addictive!
What is ....Kuih bongkong?
A traditional kuih, made of mixture of flour and santan slowly heated over fire. Once smooth and thicken, an amount of the paste will then be place in the middle of the banana leaf, making a shallow well in the middle. Mixture of chopped/grated gula melaka and gula pasir (granulated sugar) are then place in the well. Then banana leaf is then wrapped, and held together, in this modern era, using staples. Tradition will require the use of lidi. The ready wrapped kuih is then steam for a certain period of time, to melt the sugar. When eaten hot, you will be in seventh heaven.
What is ....Sek Bak?
Meat, usually pork and chicken, cooked in spices like star anise, cinnamons sticks, serai, mainly, and lots of touyou. This is dish dark in colour, again, traditional in nature, but not uncommon. Nice, but not to be eaten too much, too often.
What are all these? Dishes that I had fed my tummy with this week, until today. Wonder what's the special dish my mother's going to cook tomorrow, since it will be the day my younger brother's departing for his final year abroad for studies. I just waiting..eagerly. No pix. no Pix..
What is...buah keluak?
Buah keluak is a small fruit, if I may call it a fruit. It has a husk, shaped mostly like a stunted small coconut, with the average size of no bigger than a water chestnuts. This fruit will find it's way onto our dining table especially during festive seasons, and during special occasions. Normally cooked in tons of pepper and chilis and other spices, with chicken pieces, the fruits' husk will have to be knocked to create a small opening so that the inner fruit, the meat, so that when kuah can get in while cooking and also we easily eat the meat. The husk, of course, cannot be eaten. Triple sedap food for me, although, I realize that I then to visit the loo more often after eating this dish.
What is...Bak with chilis and timun?
Slices of boiled pork meat, always with a little layer of fat though, mix with the mixture of pounded chilis, onions, belacan, and others, and slices of cucumber. Simple, a little like rojak, just mix all the prepared ingredients, once you have them ready. Then squeeze enough lime juice over the dish. Very nice and addictive!
What is ....Kuih bongkong?
A traditional kuih, made of mixture of flour and santan slowly heated over fire. Once smooth and thicken, an amount of the paste will then be place in the middle of the banana leaf, making a shallow well in the middle. Mixture of chopped/grated gula melaka and gula pasir (granulated sugar) are then place in the well. Then banana leaf is then wrapped, and held together, in this modern era, using staples. Tradition will require the use of lidi. The ready wrapped kuih is then steam for a certain period of time, to melt the sugar. When eaten hot, you will be in seventh heaven.
What is ....Sek Bak?
Meat, usually pork and chicken, cooked in spices like star anise, cinnamons sticks, serai, mainly, and lots of touyou. This is dish dark in colour, again, traditional in nature, but not uncommon. Nice, but not to be eaten too much, too often.
What are all these? Dishes that I had fed my tummy with this week, until today. Wonder what's the special dish my mother's going to cook tomorrow, since it will be the day my younger brother's departing for his final year abroad for studies. I just waiting..eagerly. No pix. no Pix..
a mother's love
I must post this, as a reminder to myself, BE A BETTER PERSON, at heart. And nature is a very complex thing, still, and while we try to dissect and explain, we should not forget we all can learn a thing or two from it.
The link below directs to a video of paramount wonder on nature's hand in dealing with a mother's love, or the lack of it. We are lucky to be able to observe and capture these moments on videos. A mother's love is where the heart is.
Learn from it, me. BE A BETTER PERSON, at heart.
Inside is what matters, not the outside.
Thought and actions are what matters.
The simple acts of mother's love.
To my mum, a very happy birthday, on the 14thSept.
The link below directs to a video of paramount wonder on nature's hand in dealing with a mother's love, or the lack of it. We are lucky to be able to observe and capture these moments on videos. A mother's love is where the heart is.
Learn from it, me. BE A BETTER PERSON, at heart.
Inside is what matters, not the outside.
Thought and actions are what matters.
The simple acts of mother's love.
To my mum, a very happy birthday, on the 14thSept.
The List of Fools
The emperor Akbar had many hobbies. He liked playing chess and flying kites; he liked listening to stories of other lands; but his favourite hobby was collecting horses, good horses.
One day a horse dealer came to the palace. He had a team of horses to sell. The emperor came out and looked at the horses.
‘They are very fine horses,’ said Akbar. ‘I’ll buy them. Have you got any more?’
‘No sir,' said the dealer. ‘But if you give me some money, I will go to Afghanistan and buy some more.’
Akbar gave the horse dealer two hundred silver rupees for the team of horses, and two hundred rupees more to bring more horses from Afghanistan. He gave him the money but he did not ask him any questions. He did not ask what his name was, where he came from, or where he lived. The horse dealer took the money and went away.
A few days later, Akbar asked Birbal to make a list of the ten biggest fools in India. Birbal made the list very quickly, and took it to the emperor. As Akbar began to read it, his eyes opened wide. The Emperor’s name was at the top of the list!
‘What’s this, Birbal?’ the emperor shouted. ‘Why is my name at the top of the list?’
‘You deserve to be at the top,’ Birbal explained. ‘You gave money to a stranger, and you didn’t ask who he was or where he came from. Isn’t that foolish?’
‘But I gave him the money to buy horses,’ said Akbar. ‘When he brings me back the horses, I’ll…..’
‘When he brings you the horses, I’ll remove your name from the top of the list, and I’ll write his name there instead,’ said Birbal. Then Akbar realized he had indeed been foolish.
when family factors
I saw an article today, which gave me a ray of hope, for my future undertakings. At least, I am not at loggerheads with ALL of society!
"Weddings...pledging our love and loyalty not only to our spouses but also to the in-laws and even favourite restaurants and holiday destinations...Many would say that when we marry our soul mates, we marry their entire family; along with their likes and dislikes, habits and preferences and thoughts and opinions."
And how true this is! I'm not married, but in a relationship with a guy, whose family size is quite like mine, but who is just so close with his extended family, that I feel, THEY are his family. His nucleus family. They are good people, really, boisterous, happy, helpful lot, always looking out for each other. They gather often, especially since a number of them has already made the capital state their home. Perhaps as often as at least once a month, or for any possible occasions, such like the festive season, or perhaps, when one of the cousins are back from overseas, or maybe simply, they have not met for quite a while.
And of course, I am always invited, no questions asked, to any of these family gatherings. I used to go, but not anymore. It has become too much for me. I like the person, had been ready to accept his family before, do my best, but it's not like that anymore. I had begun to feel suffocated of late, too much of a (good) thing, perhaps?
" Choosing a life partner is not as easy as it sounds....some couples try to delay...preferring to instead date for long periods of time....taking on such a huge responsibility can seem terribly daunting and we could be simply better off co-habiting and producing offspring without ever putting pen to paper a la Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie."
She said it quite right. I do not fancy a marriage, nor a commitment, at least not in my frame of mind now. I feel the least that we are suitable for is being committed to each other. I'm afraid that I will be utterly disappointment once the status bar has been raised for my partner, afraid that he will not be able to live up to my expectations, which, unfortunately, I have a long list of.
Even worse, I think, I will fail both him and me, with my forever rebellious thinking. I am the classic 'rebel without a cause' although I do it subtly, sometimes even unconscious of it's beginning, but mostly aware once it gets somewhere in the middle point. With that in mind, marriage is definitely not thing for me right now. I'm happy just the way we are now, living together. Maybe, one day, when I find the most of the items of the list ticked off, perhaps.
But then again, it will be quite a feat, since we already cannot come to agree at the wedding part.
[Ooi, X. (2008), The Star, Marriage binds not only two souls but two families as well, Sights and Sounds, The star Publishing]
"Weddings...pledging our love and loyalty not only to our spouses but also to the in-laws and even favourite restaurants and holiday destinations...Many would say that when we marry our soul mates, we marry their entire family; along with their likes and dislikes, habits and preferences and thoughts and opinions."
And how true this is! I'm not married, but in a relationship with a guy, whose family size is quite like mine, but who is just so close with his extended family, that I feel, THEY are his family. His nucleus family. They are good people, really, boisterous, happy, helpful lot, always looking out for each other. They gather often, especially since a number of them has already made the capital state their home. Perhaps as often as at least once a month, or for any possible occasions, such like the festive season, or perhaps, when one of the cousins are back from overseas, or maybe simply, they have not met for quite a while.
And of course, I am always invited, no questions asked, to any of these family gatherings. I used to go, but not anymore. It has become too much for me. I like the person, had been ready to accept his family before, do my best, but it's not like that anymore. I had begun to feel suffocated of late, too much of a (good) thing, perhaps?
" Choosing a life partner is not as easy as it sounds....some couples try to delay...preferring to instead date for long periods of time....taking on such a huge responsibility can seem terribly daunting and we could be simply better off co-habiting and producing offspring without ever putting pen to paper a la Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie."
She said it quite right. I do not fancy a marriage, nor a commitment, at least not in my frame of mind now. I feel the least that we are suitable for is being committed to each other. I'm afraid that I will be utterly disappointment once the status bar has been raised for my partner, afraid that he will not be able to live up to my expectations, which, unfortunately, I have a long list of.
Even worse, I think, I will fail both him and me, with my forever rebellious thinking. I am the classic 'rebel without a cause' although I do it subtly, sometimes even unconscious of it's beginning, but mostly aware once it gets somewhere in the middle point. With that in mind, marriage is definitely not thing for me right now. I'm happy just the way we are now, living together. Maybe, one day, when I find the most of the items of the list ticked off, perhaps.
But then again, it will be quite a feat, since we already cannot come to agree at the wedding part.
[Ooi, X. (2008), The Star, Marriage binds not only two souls but two families as well, Sights and Sounds, The star Publishing]
gluttony
A day’s contribution to Gluttony, one of the 7th deadly Sins :
<>< A slice of soft and very aromatic banana cake, imported from the country’s south-most city
<>< A 2x2x3 cm3 slice of layered cake
<>< Two half-individual-soup-bowlfuls of kuah buah keluak
<>< 2 teaspoonfuls of rice mixed with kuah buah keluak and buah keluak
<>< 2 slices of a very juicy, sixthed-papaya
<>< 2 slices of red-bean paste mooncake, after divided into eight portions
<>< Almost a full orange (minus 2 slices after being cut into eights, shared with others )
<>< 2 pieces of almost quail-egg-sized-fishballs
<>< Half cup of white coffee tarik, made from half a packet of the very addictive Aik-Cheong White Coffee Tarik
<>< A sip of Nescafe coffee
<>< A sip of leftover coke
<>< A piece of chocolate ball filled with rum, imported from Europe, somewhere.
<>< Another 2 spoonfuls of kuah buah keluak
<>< Few gulps of plain H20
<>< Dinner comprising of about 3 tablespoonfuls of rice, half of a slice of fried fish, about 2 teaspoonfuls of steam egg with meat, some vegetables and one buah keluak, the last
<>< 1 cup of Nescafe
<>< Another few gulps of plain H20
<>< A plate of maggi goreng, fried with generous slices of fish balls, vegetables and an egg
note :
Derived from the Latin gluttire, meaning to gulp down or swallow, gluttony is the over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste.
<>< A slice of soft and very aromatic banana cake, imported from the country’s south-most city
<>< A 2x2x3 cm3 slice of layered cake
<>< Two half-individual-soup-bowlfuls of kuah buah keluak
<>< 2 teaspoonfuls of rice mixed with kuah buah keluak and buah keluak
<>< 2 slices of a very juicy, sixthed-papaya
<>< 2 slices of red-bean paste mooncake, after divided into eight portions
<>< Almost a full orange (minus 2 slices after being cut into eights, shared with others )
<>< 2 pieces of almost quail-egg-sized-fishballs
<>< Half cup of white coffee tarik, made from half a packet of the very addictive Aik-Cheong White Coffee Tarik
<>< A sip of Nescafe coffee
<>< A sip of leftover coke
<>< A piece of chocolate ball filled with rum, imported from Europe, somewhere.
<>< Another 2 spoonfuls of kuah buah keluak
<>< Few gulps of plain H20
<>< Dinner comprising of about 3 tablespoonfuls of rice, half of a slice of fried fish, about 2 teaspoonfuls of steam egg with meat, some vegetables and one buah keluak, the last
<>< 1 cup of Nescafe
<>< Another few gulps of plain H20
<>< A plate of maggi goreng, fried with generous slices of fish balls, vegetables and an egg
note :
Derived from the Latin gluttire, meaning to gulp down or swallow, gluttony is the over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
acceptance
Time flies.
In another few days, my little brother will be making his back to the UK, before journeying off to Spain for the next course of his master’s degree. No, I should use younger instead of little, as he certain not little, towering over me at nearly 6feet tall. Or is it over? Doesn’t matter, I’m the shortest of among us siblings, and by that sheer virtue, I am of course the lightest.
His stay here will be slightly longer than 3 weeks, when he goes back. A short vacation back home, yes, but I think it’s good for the family, especially our parents. They are not very open to traveling or staying outside, lest staying away from home in another country. Singapore does not count as another country, another place, being
just a divided by a tiny strait or a big longkang, if you may call it. Furthermore, they themselves frequented our neighbouring country when they were younger and more carefree. Tales were that my mother even walked across to the causeway from she was staying then, which is somewhere near where the bus terminal is located now. Another sibling is working there now, but since he comes back almost once a month, you can understand when I say, Singapore is just like the extended Malaysian family, sharing the same time zone.
No, they are that kind of people who enjoy the comforts of home and entertain themselves with the offerings of the televisions. And no, we do not have cable tv. They support the local dramas, both malay and chinese, watch those soaps from Latin America, and at night, after the daily news feed, would wind down by watching the detective dramas or csi or whatever is interesting showing on the telly there after. Simple people, I would say.
They were of course, prepared to have us move out from home, when we had offers to further our studies for our degrees. But I guess, it never occurred to them that their kid will be going out of this country, and away from this continent to another, to continue studying. I believe, they never thought about that possibility. It takes about 20hours to fly there, mind you.
They are doing great, now. Accepting. They have learnt to use the internet for emailing, and a little of skype for chatting action. It might sound little, but for a couple who relied of us to do the computer related stuff, and goes to banks and offices for paying bill, this is a very good start, at least for me. I harbour the thoughts of a nomadic lifestyle, going through countries to teach and also be taught.
Someday, I wish this will all come true. And when that comes, I will thank my little brother, for necessitating, if I may use that word, the upgrade in my parents, and opening up their minds. In the mean time, lessons in basic email and chatting and internet will carry on since I’m still here.
In another few days, my little brother will be making his back to the UK, before journeying off to Spain for the next course of his master’s degree. No, I should use younger instead of little, as he certain not little, towering over me at nearly 6feet tall. Or is it over? Doesn’t matter, I’m the shortest of among us siblings, and by that sheer virtue, I am of course the lightest.
His stay here will be slightly longer than 3 weeks, when he goes back. A short vacation back home, yes, but I think it’s good for the family, especially our parents. They are not very open to traveling or staying outside, lest staying away from home in another country. Singapore does not count as another country, another place, being
just a divided by a tiny strait or a big longkang, if you may call it. Furthermore, they themselves frequented our neighbouring country when they were younger and more carefree. Tales were that my mother even walked across to the causeway from she was staying then, which is somewhere near where the bus terminal is located now. Another sibling is working there now, but since he comes back almost once a month, you can understand when I say, Singapore is just like the extended Malaysian family, sharing the same time zone.
No, they are that kind of people who enjoy the comforts of home and entertain themselves with the offerings of the televisions. And no, we do not have cable tv. They support the local dramas, both malay and chinese, watch those soaps from Latin America, and at night, after the daily news feed, would wind down by watching the detective dramas or csi or whatever is interesting showing on the telly there after. Simple people, I would say.
They were of course, prepared to have us move out from home, when we had offers to further our studies for our degrees. But I guess, it never occurred to them that their kid will be going out of this country, and away from this continent to another, to continue studying. I believe, they never thought about that possibility. It takes about 20hours to fly there, mind you.
They are doing great, now. Accepting. They have learnt to use the internet for emailing, and a little of skype for chatting action. It might sound little, but for a couple who relied of us to do the computer related stuff, and goes to banks and offices for paying bill, this is a very good start, at least for me. I harbour the thoughts of a nomadic lifestyle, going through countries to teach and also be taught.
Someday, I wish this will all come true. And when that comes, I will thank my little brother, for necessitating, if I may use that word, the upgrade in my parents, and opening up their minds. In the mean time, lessons in basic email and chatting and internet will carry on since I’m still here.
Friday, September 12, 2008
expansion 三
flip the page,
turn the chapter,
start a new line,
think of a new word,
make a new paragraph,
think not, too long,
just do it!
expand!
be tireless,
be honest,
be humble,
be thoughtful,
be grateful,
think not, be too long,
just do it,
expand.
dwell deep,
dig deeper,
pour the courage,
with the belief,
but no seal, yet do not stop,
just think not, too long,
and just do it!
expand.
~ expansion, verse 三 ~
turn the chapter,
start a new line,
think of a new word,
make a new paragraph,
think not, too long,
just do it!
expand!
be tireless,
be honest,
be humble,
be thoughtful,
be grateful,
think not, be too long,
just do it,
expand.
dwell deep,
dig deeper,
pour the courage,
with the belief,
but no seal, yet do not stop,
just think not, too long,
and just do it!
expand.
~ expansion, verse 三 ~
merciful love
The crying was so unexpectedly hard, since it was on a story. Fiction. But it touched me. Or maybe I am just being too emotional, and it was ages since I last cried. I am not sure, but it does not matter as it, in my opinion, one of the more compelling story of love that I have read so far.
It is not your usual boy meets girl love story, but story of a lady and how she loved a boy as her own, how she wished with her whole heart and did her best to help to give an alternative to Boy of a better education and love-filled home. She watched her efforts being scorned and realized her plans being thwarted by the boy's selfish mother, coming to accept the terms that she will forever not be successful in her attempts. But she continues to love the boy just the same, wishing the best for him, wondering how his conditions are, all the while, helping others.
The climax to the ending was just so touching, that I could not help but cry. Love knows no bounds, and limit. When you love someone, what they did, however outrageous and hurtful it is to you, you still help to protect them, to put them off trouble, if you could, even if it caused you great misery. It was such a selfless act, to protect without question, what she did, shielding her Boy. We never know when a good kind act will be the turning point for someone to towards a better conscience and honest and objective living. It might just be the lifeline that they were unconsciously looking for.
"A sense of freedom came over him, - he had shaken himself out of a net of crime before it was too late - and it was the beautiful, merciful, angelic spirit of his childhood's friend, Miss Letty, that had saved him! When she had the power to ruin him she had rescued him, - and for this, he resolved to prove himself worthy of her clemency!"
[ Corelli, M. (1952). Boy A Sketch, Great Britain : Hutchinson & co. ]
The ending was just apt, although I can not help but wonder how one can handle so many deaths in a space of a few hours. Loss of a good friend, loss of the love of your life, and the loss of the love of your life's apple, which had became, one way or the other, your's too. I grieved for him, the kind man which had shielded the pure memory of his unattainable love, the compassionate lady who loved Boy, and wished his strength would prevail. I can only hope, as the story ended after the mentioned of that many deaths.
We maybe to able to always choose the circumstances in our lives. But we can choose how to react to them. That's the freedom given to us. My eyes are still a little red and puffy, although I had splashed a good 5minutes of cold water on them.
It is not your usual boy meets girl love story, but story of a lady and how she loved a boy as her own, how she wished with her whole heart and did her best to help to give an alternative to Boy of a better education and love-filled home. She watched her efforts being scorned and realized her plans being thwarted by the boy's selfish mother, coming to accept the terms that she will forever not be successful in her attempts. But she continues to love the boy just the same, wishing the best for him, wondering how his conditions are, all the while, helping others.
The climax to the ending was just so touching, that I could not help but cry. Love knows no bounds, and limit. When you love someone, what they did, however outrageous and hurtful it is to you, you still help to protect them, to put them off trouble, if you could, even if it caused you great misery. It was such a selfless act, to protect without question, what she did, shielding her Boy. We never know when a good kind act will be the turning point for someone to towards a better conscience and honest and objective living. It might just be the lifeline that they were unconsciously looking for.
"A sense of freedom came over him, - he had shaken himself out of a net of crime before it was too late - and it was the beautiful, merciful, angelic spirit of his childhood's friend, Miss Letty, that had saved him! When she had the power to ruin him she had rescued him, - and for this, he resolved to prove himself worthy of her clemency!"
[ Corelli, M. (1952). Boy A Sketch, Great Britain : Hutchinson & co. ]
The ending was just apt, although I can not help but wonder how one can handle so many deaths in a space of a few hours. Loss of a good friend, loss of the love of your life, and the loss of the love of your life's apple, which had became, one way or the other, your's too. I grieved for him, the kind man which had shielded the pure memory of his unattainable love, the compassionate lady who loved Boy, and wished his strength would prevail. I can only hope, as the story ended after the mentioned of that many deaths.
We maybe to able to always choose the circumstances in our lives. But we can choose how to react to them. That's the freedom given to us. My eyes are still a little red and puffy, although I had splashed a good 5minutes of cold water on them.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
still on my toes, just in case
I hope that the 4th time will not come. What about, you might ask? Well, since this morning, I had had the unpleasant experience of the alarm of my car going off, for no particular reason. It just blared, the shrill alarm disrupting the tranquility of the morning. (un)Luckily, I had had this experience before with my car. Else, I would probably not listen hard enough and would just shrugged off the noise as being not from my car.
Yes, it wasn't the first time that the alarm has gone off. No, I did not think that it is a big problem, but yes, I thought that this is troublesome thing to deal with. When this time it went off, i heard it. I stopped all that I was doing and rushed over to get my car keys and also the door keys. I had wanted to unlock the door, before the thought that I could just press the alarm button first, to stop the alarm from ringing, and saving everyone in the neighbourhood from the dreadfully shrill alarm sound. And so I did, it stopped, and fumbled to open the door.
Troubleshooting included opening and closing all doors, closing hard. Just in case, making sure that the doors are all tightly closed. And the sensors detected them as closed. I did not forget the boot of the car, opening it and had to use all my might to force a tight close for it. Satisfied, and thinking those actions would do it, I went inside, locked up, and continued what I was doing.
Second nasty interruption came again, almost less than ten minutes after restarted doing my stuff. I scrambled downstairs again, as fast as I could, got the keys and off the blaring alarm. This time I was perturbed. What else can I checked for, a non-mobile-interested girl?
Again, I did the opening and closing of all doors and boot. What else can I do, I had thought before deciding to give the bonnet of the car a check. Lifting the heavy bonnet needed two hands, and quickly I looked for the hook to hold it up. Yes, I cant hold that long, I am weak.
With the bonnet now firmly held up, I looked around at the engine, cracking my brain hard, thinking what can I look for. No, nothing came out, no ideas jumped out to help me, so I decided to do the routine check involving the various water levels, and car battery water level. That's all that I knew and know how to do.
I needed two tries to finally have the bonnet closed tightly. Locking the car, again, I went into the house, hoping that there would not be a third rush.
Alas, I was disappointed. Again, less than 10 minutes after, just long enough for me to receive a call and tip on this, the alarm went off again, uninvited. This time, I prepared, and made a quick dash to turn off the alarm. I think neighbours must be cursing me by this time. Babies, if there are any within close proximity definitely would have cried their lungs out.
Following the troubleshooting tip that I got from Him, which now I know was a wise one, I only opened the front passenger door. Fiddling the sensor stud, I tried to figure out how to check that tiny, unassuming thing, which of course at that time, was just the chief suspect. Again, the lack of knowledge on basic motoring showed. I did not what was the thing that I could do, so instead, I merely just touched and pressed a little, basically fiddling with it, but with big big hopes that it might do the trick. Reckoning the fiddling amount was enough, I closed the door, locked the car and went in.
This time, I went to upstairs to get a bottle of water and a book, preparing to standby the door, waiting for the fourth to come. I managed to read about dozen pages, taking almost half an hour, when I decided that I was finally going to be let off peacefully, at least for now. And yes, until now, it has been quite, and almost three and half hours had passed since the last shrilling alarm went off.
No, I'm not resting yet, still on my toes, just in case.
On another count, I feel the third (3rd) visit to the loo for the day will be here soon, sigh. Yes, juggling between these two counts is a very unpleasant experience. Hope no one else will have to experience it.
Yes, it wasn't the first time that the alarm has gone off. No, I did not think that it is a big problem, but yes, I thought that this is troublesome thing to deal with. When this time it went off, i heard it. I stopped all that I was doing and rushed over to get my car keys and also the door keys. I had wanted to unlock the door, before the thought that I could just press the alarm button first, to stop the alarm from ringing, and saving everyone in the neighbourhood from the dreadfully shrill alarm sound. And so I did, it stopped, and fumbled to open the door.
Troubleshooting included opening and closing all doors, closing hard. Just in case, making sure that the doors are all tightly closed. And the sensors detected them as closed. I did not forget the boot of the car, opening it and had to use all my might to force a tight close for it. Satisfied, and thinking those actions would do it, I went inside, locked up, and continued what I was doing.
Second nasty interruption came again, almost less than ten minutes after restarted doing my stuff. I scrambled downstairs again, as fast as I could, got the keys and off the blaring alarm. This time I was perturbed. What else can I checked for, a non-mobile-interested girl?
Again, I did the opening and closing of all doors and boot. What else can I do, I had thought before deciding to give the bonnet of the car a check. Lifting the heavy bonnet needed two hands, and quickly I looked for the hook to hold it up. Yes, I cant hold that long, I am weak.
With the bonnet now firmly held up, I looked around at the engine, cracking my brain hard, thinking what can I look for. No, nothing came out, no ideas jumped out to help me, so I decided to do the routine check involving the various water levels, and car battery water level. That's all that I knew and know how to do.
I needed two tries to finally have the bonnet closed tightly. Locking the car, again, I went into the house, hoping that there would not be a third rush.
Alas, I was disappointed. Again, less than 10 minutes after, just long enough for me to receive a call and tip on this, the alarm went off again, uninvited. This time, I prepared, and made a quick dash to turn off the alarm. I think neighbours must be cursing me by this time. Babies, if there are any within close proximity definitely would have cried their lungs out.
Following the troubleshooting tip that I got from Him, which now I know was a wise one, I only opened the front passenger door. Fiddling the sensor stud, I tried to figure out how to check that tiny, unassuming thing, which of course at that time, was just the chief suspect. Again, the lack of knowledge on basic motoring showed. I did not what was the thing that I could do, so instead, I merely just touched and pressed a little, basically fiddling with it, but with big big hopes that it might do the trick. Reckoning the fiddling amount was enough, I closed the door, locked the car and went in.
This time, I went to upstairs to get a bottle of water and a book, preparing to standby the door, waiting for the fourth to come. I managed to read about dozen pages, taking almost half an hour, when I decided that I was finally going to be let off peacefully, at least for now. And yes, until now, it has been quite, and almost three and half hours had passed since the last shrilling alarm went off.
No, I'm not resting yet, still on my toes, just in case.
On another count, I feel the third (3rd) visit to the loo for the day will be here soon, sigh. Yes, juggling between these two counts is a very unpleasant experience. Hope no one else will have to experience it.
instant noodles
The (so-called better) way to prepare INSTANT NOODLES :
1. boil the noodles in a pot with water.
2. once the noodles is cooked, take out the noodles, and pour away the water which contains wax.
3. boil another pot of water till boiling and put the noodles into the hot boiling water and then shut the fire.
4. only at this stage when the fire is off, and while the water is very hot, put the ingredient with the powder into the water, to make noodle soup.
5. however, if you need dry noodles, take out the noodles and add the ingredient with the powder and toss it to get dry noodles.
I wonder if this is the better way, why the manufacturers' did not print out this set of instructions on their packets?
Don't they care the health of the masses that eat their products, especially those who have them as daily staples, not out of choice?
With all the campaigns and consciousness to live and eat healthier, the manufacturers' will be the ones losing, when more and more scientific studies relates instant noodles and cancer. The suffering will talk, and talk bad.
Any way to slow down or minimize this fear, is worth looking into.
Anyhow, on another note, I am still deciding if my tummy can take INSTANT NOODLES today, cancer or not.
1. boil the noodles in a pot with water.
2. once the noodles is cooked, take out the noodles, and pour away the water which contains wax.
3. boil another pot of water till boiling and put the noodles into the hot boiling water and then shut the fire.
4. only at this stage when the fire is off, and while the water is very hot, put the ingredient with the powder into the water, to make noodle soup.
5. however, if you need dry noodles, take out the noodles and add the ingredient with the powder and toss it to get dry noodles.
I wonder if this is the better way, why the manufacturers' did not print out this set of instructions on their packets?
Don't they care the health of the masses that eat their products, especially those who have them as daily staples, not out of choice?
With all the campaigns and consciousness to live and eat healthier, the manufacturers' will be the ones losing, when more and more scientific studies relates instant noodles and cancer. The suffering will talk, and talk bad.
Any way to slow down or minimize this fear, is worth looking into.
Anyhow, on another note, I am still deciding if my tummy can take INSTANT NOODLES today, cancer or not.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
5pm
finally, 5pm...
y..? u been waiting for it?
ya. i am very tired
go massage
5pm..everyone will leave the office
so early?
...i have said this to myself from the begining of the year
but i never go even once..up to now..actually massage not as song as wat u think...
anyway. i am tired.
dunno. hvnt tried..
imagine....when, u r alone, outside ur own place, alone in overseas, u will get how i feel now, so helpless, so lonely. and no where to go
i but wish...i salute u..u can make it so long..so many times over
the only thing i can rely on, is my job...is the money i gain from my job
but...ai..i dunno. messy..i wish i could stay in my house in melaka.
choice is yours
eating my mom's cooking
yaya
sleep on my own bed..
bed still okay..i dunmind
no. is different...then . can go wherever i like to.
not sure. lost...i like 5pm...so quiet. everyone having break
take a break, too
y..? u been waiting for it?
ya. i am very tired
go massage
5pm..everyone will leave the office
so early?
...i have said this to myself from the begining of the year
but i never go even once..up to now..actually massage not as song as wat u think...
anyway. i am tired.
dunno. hvnt tried..
imagine....when, u r alone, outside ur own place, alone in overseas, u will get how i feel now, so helpless, so lonely. and no where to go
i but wish...i salute u..u can make it so long..so many times over
the only thing i can rely on, is my job...is the money i gain from my job
but...ai..i dunno. messy..i wish i could stay in my house in melaka.
choice is yours
eating my mom's cooking
yaya
sleep on my own bed..
bed still okay..i dunmind
no. is different...then . can go wherever i like to.
not sure. lost...i like 5pm...so quiet. everyone having break
take a break, too
don't be too modest, eh, chipsmore
Everyone knows you are making money,
You know you are making money,
Loads of money,
Now, don't be too f**k up to admit it.
No job? What no job?
Oh, quitting eh? But you a another lined up,
That's different you say? how so?
What matters, you have money coming in.
So, don't be too modest, least so, in front of me,
I am the damn bloody stupid fool,
No money, no income, but spending money like water,
And only want to teach, but cant do it.
So, who is more f**k up now?
Then don't be too modest, eh, chipsmore,
You have a goal, you have mission,
This is a one of the steps you taking towards your dream.
Please, no more of these no money nonsense,
You know you have loads,
Liquefied, invested, banked, kept, hide,
Your ultimate aim is to be a retired billionaire at 30.
And chipsmore, you are one heck of person,
Girl and guy, all in you,
All in the right balance, right timing,
Don't be too modest, then, billionaire chipsmore!
You know you are making money,
Loads of money,
Now, don't be too f**k up to admit it.
No job? What no job?
Oh, quitting eh? But you a another lined up,
That's different you say? how so?
What matters, you have money coming in.
So, don't be too modest, least so, in front of me,
I am the damn bloody stupid fool,
No money, no income, but spending money like water,
And only want to teach, but cant do it.
So, who is more f**k up now?
Then don't be too modest, eh, chipsmore,
You have a goal, you have mission,
This is a one of the steps you taking towards your dream.
Please, no more of these no money nonsense,
You know you have loads,
Liquefied, invested, banked, kept, hide,
Your ultimate aim is to be a retired billionaire at 30.
And chipsmore, you are one heck of person,
Girl and guy, all in you,
All in the right balance, right timing,
Don't be too modest, then, billionaire chipsmore!
a peek into my head
In July, I wrote that I was facing a major writer's block. My brain could not generate ideas for the master pieces that I was required to produce. I have yet to get those 2 essays completed, but thank god, I think that the blocks that were building in my head are slowly crumbling. So far, I've managed to complete 1 essay, but a different one, and blog consistently almost every day.
This has been like the looking glass into my head, to look at the shallow thoughts that it is only able to churn out. Anyone who wants to peek into my head, need only read this blog. I've been treating this like my private journal, and enjoying it. The last time few attempts that I made to restart my journal writing habit, which were always when I opened new doors in the short journey of my life, had always been abandoned. I suspect now, the reason where simply, I had lots to say, but my hand and wrist strength could not cope up with the sheer volume of it. Typing is much easier, and faster, and more convenient, neater, and of course, it comes with the spelling check feature. I would not need to face the deep frustrations of unable to decipher my own writing when I re-read what I had written.
I now want to concentrate in writing correctly, according to linguistics terms and conditions, as much and as often that I can. Practice makes perfect, they say. So this blog will be my practice field, a chart of my progress and also be the treasure chest of all my whimsical, long-winded, lop-sided, morbid views of my grey cells. And yes, I would still remain as jsb here.
This has been like the looking glass into my head, to look at the shallow thoughts that it is only able to churn out. Anyone who wants to peek into my head, need only read this blog. I've been treating this like my private journal, and enjoying it. The last time few attempts that I made to restart my journal writing habit, which were always when I opened new doors in the short journey of my life, had always been abandoned. I suspect now, the reason where simply, I had lots to say, but my hand and wrist strength could not cope up with the sheer volume of it. Typing is much easier, and faster, and more convenient, neater, and of course, it comes with the spelling check feature. I would not need to face the deep frustrations of unable to decipher my own writing when I re-read what I had written.
I now want to concentrate in writing correctly, according to linguistics terms and conditions, as much and as often that I can. Practice makes perfect, they say. So this blog will be my practice field, a chart of my progress and also be the treasure chest of all my whimsical, long-winded, lop-sided, morbid views of my grey cells. And yes, I would still remain as jsb here.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
any takers for 090908 ?
The dates where I've had the wonderful opportunities to witness 2 persons journeying into a new phase of their lives, committed to live and function as an inter-depending unit. My extended family is now growing and growing and growing and growing.....not that I'm complaining.
:: 1986 ::
- My first family member wedding. Sorry, I put at 1986, but I cannot be too certain. Might be circa 86-88. My mother's younger brother as the main man. Children are all grown up now -
:: June 11th, 1994 ::
- My mother's youngest brother got hitched on this day. They now have 3 princesses. -
:: June xx, 2005 ::
- My mother's second sister's second daughter got married this day. Typical chinese wedding, but I missed the morning part, as I was slaving then. Sorry. She's a mother of 1 now. -
:: Dec 26th, 2005 ::
- My mother's eldest sister's only daughter's marriage day. My first as a ji-mui, but useless one. We drove all the way to her husband's place, which was about an hour and half drive away. After a difficult early stage pregnancy, she's now a happy mom of an angel. -
:: Feb 18th, 2006 ::
- My father's second brother's daughter's wedding reception in our hometown. Held in hotel, buffet style, they had designed their wedding photos and invites themselves. She has a happy chubby, laidback son, named not unsimilar to the water heater-brand. -
:: Dec 31st, 2006 ::
- My father's youngest brother threw a wedding reception for his elder daughter. Chinese dinner, with tons of karaoke and reunions. -
:: May 30th, 2008 ::
- My father welcomed a daughter in-law officially to our home, according to chinese customs. My mother's first Cheongsam escapade. Typical chinese dinner with a 'banana' flavour, English speaking hosts! My first experience as a bridesmaid. -
:: June 14th 2008 ::
- My father's second brother's only son got married this day. All wedding committee members, including leading man and woman wore traditional chinese attire, which was cheongsam for the ladies and samfu for the guys. Chinese dinner with a twist, local band. -
:: so far, there's not set date for the next 'family' wedding. Observing the trend, might skipped a year before 2 come along in the same year. Who knows. But definitely, mine's not in the cards, yet. For better or for worse, I wish them happiness and congratulate them for the strength to share and daringness to move forward. Wonder if there are any takers for today's 090908. I know 101010 has been booked ::
- My first family member wedding. Sorry, I put at 1986, but I cannot be too certain. Might be circa 86-88. My mother's younger brother as the main man. Children are all grown up now -
:: June 11th, 1994 ::
- My mother's youngest brother got hitched on this day. They now have 3 princesses. -
:: June xx, 2005 ::
- My mother's second sister's second daughter got married this day. Typical chinese wedding, but I missed the morning part, as I was slaving then. Sorry. She's a mother of 1 now. -
:: Dec 26th, 2005 ::
- My mother's eldest sister's only daughter's marriage day. My first as a ji-mui, but useless one. We drove all the way to her husband's place, which was about an hour and half drive away. After a difficult early stage pregnancy, she's now a happy mom of an angel. -
:: Feb 18th, 2006 ::
- My father's second brother's daughter's wedding reception in our hometown. Held in hotel, buffet style, they had designed their wedding photos and invites themselves. She has a happy chubby, laidback son, named not unsimilar to the water heater-brand. -
:: Dec 31st, 2006 ::
- My father's youngest brother threw a wedding reception for his elder daughter. Chinese dinner, with tons of karaoke and reunions. -
:: May 30th, 2008 ::
- My father welcomed a daughter in-law officially to our home, according to chinese customs. My mother's first Cheongsam escapade. Typical chinese dinner with a 'banana' flavour, English speaking hosts! My first experience as a bridesmaid. -
:: June 14th 2008 ::
- My father's second brother's only son got married this day. All wedding committee members, including leading man and woman wore traditional chinese attire, which was cheongsam for the ladies and samfu for the guys. Chinese dinner with a twist, local band. -
:: so far, there's not set date for the next 'family' wedding. Observing the trend, might skipped a year before 2 come along in the same year. Who knows. But definitely, mine's not in the cards, yet. For better or for worse, I wish them happiness and congratulate them for the strength to share and daringness to move forward. Wonder if there are any takers for today's 090908. I know 101010 has been booked ::
OZ calling
oz calling, oz calling,
dare i go?
one way, or round trip?
i've not decide.
oz calling, oz calling,
your offer stands?
one way, or round trip?
which you recommend?
oz calling, oz calling,
both still thinking?
one way, or round trip?
slow, quick, must decide?
oz calling, oz calling,
are you dreaming again?
one way or round trip?
you have neither!
dare i go?
one way, or round trip?
i've not decide.
oz calling, oz calling,
your offer stands?
one way, or round trip?
which you recommend?
oz calling, oz calling,
both still thinking?
one way, or round trip?
slow, quick, must decide?
oz calling, oz calling,
are you dreaming again?
one way or round trip?
you have neither!
stay OFF, i tell u
why must people butt in into my private affairs?
i hate family occasions of His, because his family members always like to butt into my private affairs.
i am a private person, and can't they see that?
they are one heck of a family with smarts, so wouldn't they notice that?
and what do you mean, i look more mature after working in the capital than when i was in my hometown?
i look the same, it's the dressing and the occasion, which of course you have not seen me in.
can't you see, can't you feel, i am pulling away?
courtesy, yes, accepted, but please stay off the private zone.
no, i do not appreciate being pushed into that realm, not at all.
again, as i said before, once, maybe testing the waters, is already not welcome, but 2 is pushing it, stupid.
things repel when pushed, don't you know?
my life is my life, even more now.
and i do not like O-z, simply because you all are there.
yes, it is my selfish, foolish, ugly, arrogant side.
and thanks, dad, for not agreeing.
if you did, you will lose me, too.
i hate family occasions of His, because his family members always like to butt into my private affairs.
i am a private person, and can't they see that?
they are one heck of a family with smarts, so wouldn't they notice that?
and what do you mean, i look more mature after working in the capital than when i was in my hometown?
i look the same, it's the dressing and the occasion, which of course you have not seen me in.
can't you see, can't you feel, i am pulling away?
courtesy, yes, accepted, but please stay off the private zone.
no, i do not appreciate being pushed into that realm, not at all.
again, as i said before, once, maybe testing the waters, is already not welcome, but 2 is pushing it, stupid.
things repel when pushed, don't you know?
my life is my life, even more now.
and i do not like O-z, simply because you all are there.
yes, it is my selfish, foolish, ugly, arrogant side.
and thanks, dad, for not agreeing.
if you did, you will lose me, too.
Friday, September 5, 2008
sexy guys
Guys who cook are, in my humble opinion, very sexy.
It's the passion that I see the in the eyes of guys who enjoys cooking, that I feel make them sexy. The eyes radiates sense of love and tenderness, nurturing yet carefully balancing their actions.
Cook here does not mean that he is able to cook fried eggs and instant noodles and microwave nuggets. Cook means he cooks dishes, and enjoys it very much. Savouring the process, thinking while cooking, how to make the dish(es) the best, in taste and also looks. Constantly trying to improve himself, he learns the techniques and methods, dig for tips of long-lost ancient recipes, experiments with spices, ingredients, textures. And he is modest about his achievements, always thinking that he has much more to do, need to learn even more.
Think of the possibility of having the chance to a smiling, loving face looking down on you, with a tray of warm, delicious breakfast in hand, when you just open your eyes on a lazy day. What more can I ask for a perfect beginning to a day!
It's the passion that I see the in the eyes of guys who enjoys cooking, that I feel make them sexy. The eyes radiates sense of love and tenderness, nurturing yet carefully balancing their actions.
Cook here does not mean that he is able to cook fried eggs and instant noodles and microwave nuggets. Cook means he cooks dishes, and enjoys it very much. Savouring the process, thinking while cooking, how to make the dish(es) the best, in taste and also looks. Constantly trying to improve himself, he learns the techniques and methods, dig for tips of long-lost ancient recipes, experiments with spices, ingredients, textures. And he is modest about his achievements, always thinking that he has much more to do, need to learn even more.
Think of the possibility of having the chance to a smiling, loving face looking down on you, with a tray of warm, delicious breakfast in hand, when you just open your eyes on a lazy day. What more can I ask for a perfect beginning to a day!
all in a day's job
He cut, and he cut, not taking a break. Apart from time he spent dividing and pinning the hair into smaller, more manageable clumps, he took no break in cutting her hair. Snip, snip, snip went the scissors. He used the comb to straighten and even out tangled hair, taking in the details that he required to create the style to suit his picky customer.
Occasionally, his momentum was interrupted when the customer, who never had her eyes close through out the entire period and wanting to look dazzling but not willing to spend more than the amount charged for haircut, asked him questions, which in his mind only showed how truly she was trying to build her confidence with his skill. It did not help that she spoke haltingly in his language, which he, as much as he was grateful as he did not speak her language well, found it amusing, as both she and him mostly like share and follow similar cultural and religious understanding.
She had fair skin and while he had thought she looked like a working lady, with her way of speaking and her body language, confident but yet, not over commanding, he was surprised when she said she was not working. He must improve on his observation skill, he thought.
He continued to cut, taking little handfuls of hair at a time. With such thick hair, he tried to cut as fast as he could, but always when he looked back, to gauge his progress, seemed like it was still a long way to the style he was heading for. He had cut off the long hair to the desired length, it was just the matter putting them all together to create the style. He had thought it would be breeze, since she had described a fairly simple and straightforward style, a style he had practise uncountable times.
After slightly over an hour of cutting, he stepped back, looking at his handiwork. This should do. They went over the sink area for a quick rinse before settling down on the hairdresser chair. The shop assistant had already swept the unwanted hair away, filling the whole of the dustpan. He had thought it was hair from 2 persons’ head.
He quickly blow dried the customer’s hair, wondering why she still did not close her eyes. Most customers that he knew would love to take a shut eye now, with the warm air swirling on their head and hands running, as though massaging the head, someone had told him before. She had been looking at the way he worked, the way her hair was cut, the length, the style. Is she observing for something, his mind wondered.
Left hand running through the hair, right hand expertly manoeuvring the hairdryer all over the head, he wanted to finish the job as quickly as he could. Once the hair was almost half dried, he quickly gave it comb through, looking for any spots that he might have missed during the first session and spotted some. Automatically he took his trusty scissors and comb, and snipped away, again. It was not as tedious as the first time. He only had to do a little trimming and layering here and there. He was done after about 15minutes.
Now, she doesn’t look that bad, he had thought. Another satisfied customer, he thought congratulating himself. The customer was evidently satisfied with the outcome, as she couldn’t help looking and smiling. Luckily, he let out a sigh of relief under his breath, and headed straight towards the restroom.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Maybe Too Much
When I was younger, I've never really thought of the kind of guy I would like to have as a partner. So when He came along, and my fluttered a little at that time, I accepted the person as he was, and still is.
As I grow older, I am given numerous chances to see new things, thankfully. I start conceive picture puzzle of what kind of guy I would love to be with. In the beginning, the outline is all that I can make out. A good person. I only thought that the person I want to be with has to be good in character. Colours that fill the outline was neglected. He fits till there.
Slowly, as I change in thoughts, get more exposure, discover new wonders, learn new facts, make new friends, be in new places, or just by the virtue of growing older and a little more confident, the picture puzzle gets more and more detailed. I feel like as though it's a jigsaw and I'm slowly finding the puzzle pieces that I want to fit in to complete the picture. Seeing the outline is not enough. I want a more detailed picture. The process is not fast, but it is not slow either. As I know more characters, more pieces find their way into making up my picture of the person I want to be with.
Always Independent, Uncharacteristically Romantic, Loving, Thinks of Me and Us always, Cooks, Cleans, Smart, A Talker and Yet a Listener, Thinks What I Think and More, Hardworker, Day Person, An Active Person, A Traveler at Heart and Mind, Wish to Build A Life with Me, Persistent to Get to Support Me. These are some of the shapes that I now think should build my dream partner. Should and wish for.
It is alot to ask for. Not many person have at least 90% of these qualities, let alone Guys. It is not easy for me to say this, but this is what I want now. I know I can give all these because I think these describe me, at least 90% of them.
I am clear of that now. I have change, I know. Maybe too much. Am I selfish?
As I grow older, I am given numerous chances to see new things, thankfully. I start conceive picture puzzle of what kind of guy I would love to be with. In the beginning, the outline is all that I can make out. A good person. I only thought that the person I want to be with has to be good in character. Colours that fill the outline was neglected. He fits till there.
Slowly, as I change in thoughts, get more exposure, discover new wonders, learn new facts, make new friends, be in new places, or just by the virtue of growing older and a little more confident, the picture puzzle gets more and more detailed. I feel like as though it's a jigsaw and I'm slowly finding the puzzle pieces that I want to fit in to complete the picture. Seeing the outline is not enough. I want a more detailed picture. The process is not fast, but it is not slow either. As I know more characters, more pieces find their way into making up my picture of the person I want to be with.
Always Independent, Uncharacteristically Romantic, Loving, Thinks of Me and Us always, Cooks, Cleans, Smart, A Talker and Yet a Listener, Thinks What I Think and More, Hardworker, Day Person, An Active Person, A Traveler at Heart and Mind, Wish to Build A Life with Me, Persistent to Get to Support Me. These are some of the shapes that I now think should build my dream partner. Should and wish for.
It is alot to ask for. Not many person have at least 90% of these qualities, let alone Guys. It is not easy for me to say this, but this is what I want now. I know I can give all these because I think these describe me, at least 90% of them.
I am clear of that now. I have change, I know. Maybe too much. Am I selfish?
if you are not too long, i will wait here for you all my life
a
"If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life"
~ Oscar Wilde ~
"If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life"
~ Oscar Wilde ~
How long is not too long?
How long can I let someone wait for me before I start to feel guilty?
So, does he wait, or does he not wait?
Can I wait as long as Mr Wilde for someone?
Can I wait for someone?
Should I wait for someone?
Is there someone out there waiting for me?
Would I want someone to wait for me?
If I wait for you all my life, would you wait for me all your life?
If I was too long, would you let me know before you stop waiting?
Will you get mad if I get distracted while waiting for you?
Will you try your best to be not too long?
Should I let you wait?
Can I go somewhere away from here, to wait for you?
Why would I want you to wait for me?
Wonder if I would be too tired while waiting for you all my life?
May I ask you be a little faster, if you are too long?
How would I know you will come?
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
茉 莉 花
好一朵美丽的茉莉花
Hǎo yī duǒ měi lì de mò li huā
好一朵美丽的茉莉花
Hǎo yī duǒ měi lì de mò li huā
芬芳美丽满枝桠
Fēn fāng měi lì mǎn zhī yā
又香又白人人夸
Yòu xiāng yòu bái rén rén kuā
让我来将你摘下
Ràng wǒ lái jiāng nǐ zhāi xià
送给别人家
Sòng gěi biě rén jiā
茉莉花呀茉莉花
Mò li huā yā mò li huā
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hǎo yī duǒ měi lì de mò li huā
好一朵美丽的茉莉花
Hǎo yī duǒ měi lì de mò li huā
芬芳美丽满枝桠
Fēn fāng měi lì mǎn zhī yā
又香又白人人夸
Yòu xiāng yòu bái rén rén kuā
让我来将你摘下
Ràng wǒ lái jiāng nǐ zhāi xià
送给别人家
Sòng gěi biě rén jiā
茉莉花呀茉莉花
Mò li huā yā mò li huā
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A good beautiful jasmine flower
A good beautiful jasmine flower
Sweet-smelling, beautiful, stems full of buds
Fragrant and white, everyone praises
Let me pluck you down
Give to someone
Jasmine flower, oh jasmine flower
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++><++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A good beautiful jasmine flower
Sweet-smelling, beautiful, stems full of buds
Fragrant and white, everyone praises
Let me pluck you down
Give to someone
Jasmine flower, oh jasmine flower
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++><++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Flower of jasmine, oh so fair!
Flower of jasmine, oh so fair!
Budding and blooming here and there,
Pure and fragrant all declare.
Let me take you with tender care,
Your sweetness for all to share.
Jasmine fair, oh jasmine fair.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++><+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Flower of jasmine, oh so fair!
Budding and blooming here and there,
Pure and fragrant all declare.
Let me take you with tender care,
Your sweetness for all to share.
Jasmine fair, oh jasmine fair.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++><+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
:: taken from wikipedia. used to dislike this song, for a reason. but then heard the version sung by fish leong. sweet, romantic, and radiates a nice feeling. still do not really know what this song means, but here it is, for me and for you. 謝謝，老師 ::
left pushing, right excusing
'Just go, don't think too much,' Left said.
'Ya, I know, but just can't bring myself to do it,' said Right.
'You know, I don't know if it will turn out alright,' Right added, frowning.
'And am still unsure how I want it, short and straight, or slightly longer, and straight. Or maybe permed?' Right mumbled.
'You know, you are always like that. So I think the best way is just to go there. And then decide. This is not the first day I've known you. You will continue to just make excuses, so that you will not need to change, no? So timid, even for this kind of thing you wanna make so big a fuss of it. What lah you,' chided Left.
'Hmm.. You noticed that too, huh? I dunno, sometimes I think it's so hard to push, especially when thought I had decided to do something, then something else comes up, kinda like squashing the effort and pushing the momentum down again. A sign, maybe to show that it's a wrong move...?' Right argued.
'Yeah, whatever you wanna believe in. Should I tell you then, okay, don't do it, just keep it until one day, someone else will say, hey, you hair's too long and unhealthy. Can see so many many split ends. You don't feel gross? Do you want that? As it is, I can see quite a number now, and you know, the time you spend looking for those split ends is just appalling! Other people can become millionaires, then go the shop to get their's done with. Why not just close your eyes, your ears, your brain, and move yourself?! Just go to the shop, sit down, then take a deep breath. It's better throwing your hair around there, then having those hair all around the house. It's gross and dirty, you know,' retorted Left.
'Hmm....give me another day. I think I need another day,' uttered Right, head down.
'Yeah, another day, then another day, then so on, until the year end,' Left scolded.
'So typical of you,' and Left left.
'Ya, I know, but just can't bring myself to do it,' said Right.
'You know, I don't know if it will turn out alright,' Right added, frowning.
'And am still unsure how I want it, short and straight, or slightly longer, and straight. Or maybe permed?' Right mumbled.
'You know, you are always like that. So I think the best way is just to go there. And then decide. This is not the first day I've known you. You will continue to just make excuses, so that you will not need to change, no? So timid, even for this kind of thing you wanna make so big a fuss of it. What lah you,' chided Left.
'Hmm.. You noticed that too, huh? I dunno, sometimes I think it's so hard to push, especially when thought I had decided to do something, then something else comes up, kinda like squashing the effort and pushing the momentum down again. A sign, maybe to show that it's a wrong move...?' Right argued.
'Yeah, whatever you wanna believe in. Should I tell you then, okay, don't do it, just keep it until one day, someone else will say, hey, you hair's too long and unhealthy. Can see so many many split ends. You don't feel gross? Do you want that? As it is, I can see quite a number now, and you know, the time you spend looking for those split ends is just appalling! Other people can become millionaires, then go the shop to get their's done with. Why not just close your eyes, your ears, your brain, and move yourself?! Just go to the shop, sit down, then take a deep breath. It's better throwing your hair around there, then having those hair all around the house. It's gross and dirty, you know,' retorted Left.
'Hmm....give me another day. I think I need another day,' uttered Right, head down.
'Yeah, another day, then another day, then so on, until the year end,' Left scolded.
'So typical of you,' and Left left.
big step, secret dream; dream big, secret step
big,
big steps,
arranging big steps.
step,
one step,
taken one step.
dream,
big dream,
towards big dream.
secret,
secret dream,
one secret dream.
big step, secret dream,
dream big, secret step.
big steps,
arranging big steps.
step,
one step,
taken one step.
dream,
big dream,
towards big dream.
secret,
secret dream,
one secret dream.
big step, secret dream,
dream big, secret step.
Monday, September 1, 2008
free writing
Free writing.
Now, that’s an interesting term to come across today.
To write anything that pops into your mind when you encounter a writer’s block.
Anything at all.
I got that from a tv show.
No, I don’t plan to google it up, to see if it is a valid term.
I will just take it as it was explained and how I understood it.
To write anything, just anything, and not to restrain oneself, in the bid to lift the block in the writer’s head.
Does that mean that what ever in this blog is free writing?
Based on the explanation given, I think they are.
Must be the thought of having to write essays as part of the condition to obtain my certificate, created the pressure in my head, hence the block, thus, the need to do free writing, to blog, to liberate my ideas, and get them organize themselves into meaningful sentences rather than floating words, to fire-up the sentence generator in me.
After all, I’ve not wrote so much, in so short of a time.
That must be it, and it must be working.
I have submitted one essay, another three to go.
Yes, free writing.
I like it.
feet pose
I like taking photo of the places which I had stepped foot in. I’m not exactly sure when this habit developed, but since then, I’ve tried to take photo of the different terrains, different tiles, different grounds, or the different landscapes which I had the opportunity to experience. All having the same pose. Left foot and right foot, standing aligned, side by side. To some people, it may not show much, seeing a pair of feet on the ground only. But I like it. It is a way of reminding where I’ve been or I’ve stepped into. Definitely, there are not two pictures which are the same. At least, up till now, there aren’t any. In future, perhaps, one day, my two feet may encounter, by sheer chance, the same kind of place that they have threaded before, but I doubt it would be the same. At that time, I would believed, the purpose and pleasures which brought them there in the first place would not be the same. Even so, say by diminutive luck, those two aspects converged, there is still another part which needs to be the same, which only then can the pictures be exactly identical. The appearance of my feet. The condition and the dressings which they found themselves in for that moment. And for this part to be able to recreate the past conditions of itself, is a big, mighty feat. So, I doubt the feeling of deja-vu, when seeing photos of my two feet’s adventures, would surface.
I may be the only one taking repeated photos of my feet, but then again, I know very few people and very little of people. But certainly, I’m not the only with this kind of, what’s the word, habit (?). Other people just take pictures of different things or different parts of themselves but in the same pose, all when they are in different places. A friend of mine, she takes photos of her jumping. She tries to capture the perfect moment when she’s lift up in midair, when her legs are not on the ground and her hands are up in the sky. She tries to do it almost at every permissible places that she has had the pleasure of being there. And she had compiled all of them into an album. It is a neat idea, I think.
Wondering I should emulate her and do the same. An album for all the pictures of my feet. It’s a thought. Making a conscious effort then to build up the materials for this album.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
