Missing BearHill

Missing the BearHill of yesteryears! Or specifically of my yester years!

Explorations on bicycles and hanging out in the playground, those were the highlights of my every day then! When popcorn aunty started her weekly business at our still ongoing Wednesday pasar malam, I was a regular customer! Snacking on popcorn packs while on the swing in the playground, chatting and gossiping, or simply just enjoy the evening. I had friends then.

I have to report though, the popcorn quality remains, and the price is still the same after all these years. And I think aunty also didn't change much, same size, same expression, same modus operandi!

brb.. jusco trip beckoning! :D

Oh, sorry about the interruption. I am now back to continue.

Talking about aunty the popcorn seller. One thing for sure is that her lines are getting longer and longer. It's quite impossible to see her taking a break from churning out batches and batches of popcorn from her same old trusty popcorn machine. So nowadays, it's only on the rare occasions of seeing only a few people in front of her stall that I would place my order. Else, I can just forget it!

I missed going rounds, I missed watching kids bringing their dogs out for walks, I missed hanging around at a friend's place, I missed seeing the faces that I used to see then! I guess, like me, they left their nests years ago, hence the missing faces. However, unlike me, they have built their own nests somewhere else, concrete, stable and filled with love.

Anyhow, I can only accept the changes that is now. The past came then to present memories to me and now have to take leave, as in the cycle of life. For without the past leaving, we will never get the future to be the present. My BearHill of yesteryears can only be cherished!

Jargon, only

Excu sem eb uti list en ed bu twas stil lu nab le toc at chit

Pard ont hes lown ess

The Time Traveler's Wife, please..

Does anyone have a copy of the book, The Time Traveler's Wife? I would like to borrow it to read.

I just finished watching the movie, once again. Yes, this isn't the first time I was watched it but I still find myself being touched by the simplistic nature of the love story in that movie. The time travelling part of the movie serves only to show me how endearing true love can be.

We may not always be together with the ones we love, set apart through distance, or in this movie, the unique ability of the main protagonist who travels through time. We may not like the arrangements but if we really love the person, then we will be patient and understanding towards their little shortcomings.

Once we conquered that feeling, we can then move forward together, working towards accommodating, supporting and making better as best as we can, the shortcomings of our loved ones. Only then a relationship of love can survive all shortfalls and grow into something more beautiful.

The first time I watched it, I cried shamelessly. The fact that I was alone then probably contributed to the freeflow of tears streaming down my cheeks. This time, I wasn't alone. Try I as might, I still couldn't stop myself from feeling sad for the lovers there. I cried again. Yes the story didn't have a perfect happy ending, but I loved the ending, nonetheless. I didn't think it was all that sad. It gave them hope, too.

Though his ability to travel through time might have killed him prematurely, but it also gave him and his family love and hope. So yes, I would love to read the book. See how the story goes. I have a strong feeling that I am going to enjoy the book very much.

Funniest reason to Blush!

Today I heard the funniest of reasons for blushing!

I was asked by a young lady sitting in front of me, if her face was red. I agreed, as she was quite fair and any redness on the face shows up quite clearly. I further remarked that her left ear was exceptionally red.

I then proceeded to guess the reason. Period, I had asked her? She didn't agree but instead when on to add this sentence, talked to him, gesturing to the boss. I was perplexed for a while.

I knew that she was talking to him before that, when I was away at the accounts clerk place to clear up some muddle. He asked the accounts clerk something short before stopping by her place, saying something which I couldn't catch. It was a brief chat, I think no more than a few sentences if not less, before he proceeded into his room, located behind her place.

Her seat is in front of the boss' room, so she sits facing me, her back towards the room. I stared at her for that while, still trying to comprehend her statement. Repeating it slowly outloud, I asked her what she meant when she said that.

She simply said, because she talked to the boss, thus she blushed, and ended with a little girlish giggle. I was stunt, and then burst out a giggle, which then turned into an uncontrollable laugh, though nothing inappropriately loud. A laugh just the three of us, she, me and the accounts clerk could hear and notice. I was really tickled.

This was the first time I heard someone telling me that she would blushed because of talking to the boss! And this was coming from a married lady, young though, younger even than me. But I still found that thought very funny. I laughed until my eyes teared. Probably until after a few minutes had lapsed that I finally could control myself. Giggles managed to escape in between her clarifications towards my disbelief.

It was the best thing I heard today. It was an honest answer, yet it was the funniest answer I ever heard for reasons for blushing so far! You are funny, girl!

Reconnected by Chance

Reconnecting.

I know I should not lay too low underground and let the world spin above me for too long. And that once in a while, I should stand up, stick out my head and give shoutouts to friends and acquaintances. Or accept their shouts and high-fives. Just to reconnect.

I have to admit that I had been slowly cutting of myself from my many circles of friends, over the past few years. First, it was time constraint. I just couldn't find enough time to squeeze the growing list of friends to catch up with each time I am back, without compromising family time.

Then, there was the energy factor. Meeting up, dates, and late nights just became too taxing for me after a while. They made me lethargic and tired the following days, as I slowly grow unaccustomed to that kind of lifestyle.

After that, there were this part of my life where I just wanted to go do whatever I wanted without the slightest care and regard to others, so long that it doesn't hurt anyone. Well, I didn't succeed in that 100%, they were some who were scalded quite badly but being in that state of mind, I just proceeded forcefully. Slowly, I dropped of their radar, on my own.

After a while, you just get strike off from people's list and buried deep behind their priority list. You get what you wish, you reap what you sow.

Today, however, made me realized, sometimes old is just gold. Meeting up with old friend can be really fulfilling. It reminds you how fortunate you are that they were in your life at one point, enriching it, nurturing it. That they were part of your past had simply made your history more colourful.

My former boss and I, we met up for lunch over his favourite Malaysian dish, Bak Kut Teh. It was really a touching moment for me. To see once again after quite a while, I could only say that we are lucky to be able to meet up. The last time I met him was almost 5 and a half years ago, after he had left his local posting here.

I could only say that one of the good thing brought from the floods that hit Krung Thep in Thailand is it allowed this chance meeting. With this meeting, we then took the chance to look up for another friend who was part of the circle then. Interestingly, we managed to relocate his house and had a chat with him, albeit aided by his helpful wife and technology, as he, that friend, is now working overseas!

Reconnected by chance, the aftermath of the floods, while cruel to some, but when experienced from another perspective and life, is good to us. I shall remember this chance meeting. Maybe, one day, we might be able to have another gathering with the same group of people just like before. That would be nice!

Kimchi

A whole chinese cabbage, cut up into bite size pieces, is sitting in an oval pyrex bowl, soaking away in salt water.

In another bowl, the smell permeates from the mixture of 3 tablespoons chilli powder, paste of grounded garlics, ginger, and a whole apple, 3 spring onions sliced diagonally, and julienned pieces of almost an apple, all combined with a tablespoonful of sugar and some fish sauce.

I am watching the clock. Another hour to go. In between, a few rounds of tossing about the soaking pieces of cabbages.

Once the timer goes off, these 2 babies will go on a date together, mix around and make love and they will transform into my very own homemade kimchi!

Oh, how I can't wait! How exciting!

Stuck!

Stuck!

Have not been moving for the past week. Failure, thus far, in enabling the scanning machine caused me to defer the ambitious plan I had mind indefinitely. Although, yesterday, a thought occurred to me on another idea to try to work the machine. I must try that simple step. Otherwise, I will need to crack open my brain to fish out other means.

Stuck!

Stuck also I had been for 2 weeks now, on my intended 2nd art project. I had managed to get the important but rare ingredient, but wasted too much time pondering about the remaining common place art items. I must get the buying over by this weekend. If that's done, at least then I have will have my nights to play away leisurely.

Stucked!

I had released a little of my caged brain, I hoped, with the commencement of the job this week. I don't really need to fully utilise my capability but at least I didn't all of it while. It had been an new and interesting scope for now. Perhaps I might be bored after a fortnight, but I had given my word and I will keep to it. Right now, I am just challenging myself for two things. One is to complete it within two months, or three months tops, and two, for me to clear up all the files, on my own! The latter, if I can achieve that continuously, is really a confidence booster!

Excellent & Excellence Branding

"If you have excellent branding,

then even if your product is of average quality,

people would still be attracted to get it!"

"Excellent branding differentiates the ones that get sold and the ones that stays on the shelves!"

"Selling is all about excellence in branding!"

Colour your life!

Colour your life!

Hahaha... I'm happy!

Today, I managed to finish up project number #1.

It's an art project, though not made from recycled materials.

But I had been wanting to try my hand at doing it since I first read about the idea.

I just love the play of colours and the simplicity of the doing it.

Mine turned out quite well, I would say.

I'm proud of myself for this!

Colour your life!

Project #1 will be packed off as a housewarming present to one of my friend.

Hope he likes it!

Sleep & Dreams

I've not been able to sleep well of late.

Yesterday I had dreams. I might have had more than two, but it's two that I remember. My memory is vague and details are hazy, but the gist of those two dreams are clear.

In one of the dream, a friend, who is due to get married end of this year, asked me to decorate a place where we were. I am not sure what that place is but the place was most likely in somewhere in Krung Thep, as the impression I got was there was flood around. Not sure why we needed to decorate the place, but we needed to and were in the midst of looking for ideas on how to carry out our task.

Another point that strongly suggested the setting was in Krung Thep was tuition. Not too sure why was tuition there, but seemed like 3 boys, who were rich enough, came over to have tuition there with us. And they were from our hometown. Both of us girls are from Melaka, by the way! They would fly all the way from Malaysia to Krung Thep, attend the classes then fly back! Now, that's a really wild dream! This point I remembered quite clearly as we were deliberating on how they could make it on time to class and back; or was this arrangement absolutely necessary and tiring as well in a tuk tuk or was it a taxi? Wild, wild!

The second dream, order not clear, was about me and my mother. Again, right now, I'm not too sure of the setting of the place, but I have a heavy feeling that it was in my maternal grandmother's place. It is not clear now why were we there in the first place, but I remembered having THAT talk with her, in the midst of another argument! And she refused to listen and accept what I said. It was quite a scene, with her crying and accusing me of being ungrateful or such. That all of us were ungrateful, selfish and not filial, somewhere along those lines. A little like the scene of a drama I saw last Sunday, where the daughter was accused of finding her mom a burden, by her own mother!

Again, I cannot recall which dream came first, but I felt exhausted this morning. Are they telling me something? If so, what are they trying to tell me?

:: JOB ::

::

:: JOB ::

:: JOB :: JOB ::

:: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB ::

:: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB ::

:: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB ::

:: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB ::

:: JOB :: JOB :: JOB :: JOB ::

:: JOB :: JOB ::

:: JOB ::

::

please ....

GUT

::Lost&Not Yet Found::

G U T

::Lost&Not Yet Found::

No cow-sense!

I find it hard to believe that in this day and age, there are still incredibly inconsiderate people on the most basic of things around me.

This week alone the entrance to my house had been blocked twice! Yes, the front gate, which opens to my porch where my car is parked, and to my front door. It's really difficult to understand why this happens as there is ample empty space around for them to park their cars properly without needing to inconvenient anyone.

The first was last Friday. We had gone out for an evening walk to a nearby stadium. Upon reaching our home, we saw a car parked in front of my house, which nothing new to us. As we got closer, however, we noticed that a good portion of the boot of the car was actually blocking our gate. Plain inconsideration! The owner of the car didn't even bother to apologize for her selfish and thoughtless action, instead leaving her boyfriend to do it. I failed to see why my father told the guy it was alright. Small thing to him, perhaps.

Today, once again, it happened. We had driven out for dinner. This time, even an idiot could see that one should not be blocking the gate, for we had left the gate wide opened, in anticipation of a heavy downpour. Our gate is not fixed with the auto-gate system. Another self-centered driver had, in full stupidity, just parked her car to block a portion of my gate! My father had to get down from the car, under the drizzle, to push open the gate further in order for me to be able to drive in the car, which in turn, defeated the main purpose of leaving the gate opened in the first place.

Twice in a week was too much for me. Once the car was parked properly, I got down, and went over next door. The driver was just about to come out. I gave her a piece of my mind, albeit the more polite and truncated version than the one raging in my head. She just acknowledged what I said, but didn't apologize. Either that, she was surprised with my outburst. Good thing was that she went out to re-park her car. According to my father, this time she didn't park stupidly.

The thing I could not understand was that why in the world did they think that it was alright to have their cars blocking my gate, even if for an inch when they didn't want to park in front of their boyfriends' house. If they could think that doing so might cause unnecessary hardship to their boyfriends, my neighbours, why couldn't they extend that thought to us, or any other house owner. Furthermore, it wasn't like my house is a holiday home. My parents live here. Which in other words, there are people constantly occupying the house. It's not a vacant or empty house! The weirdest part was most strangers who stopped by to get something from the shophouses opposite almost always made sure their cars weren't blocking any gates!

These incidences were not the first time I had witnessed my parents being put into this situation. And many a times, I had told them to just inform the boys, my neighbours, on the difficulty they faced with such selfish acts. My father, in his usual laidback way, would just brush it off as something minor, while my mother would just grumble under her breath. She had told me before, she had once left a note on the windscreen of one of the cars then blocking the gate. If that was the case, seemed like either they don't understand English, or they are just too arrogant and bold to understand the basic manners of living in a community.

However today, I just could not do nothing about it. Telling it to them nicely was the chosen path today. Unfortunately, if this problem still persists, I guess, I would just need to gate crash one of their motivational business talk session and give a long speech on this. After all, it's just plain courtesy and basic manners to not to block anyone's gate or entrance when you park. You never know when an emergency situation might arise where every few seconds is very precious!

Quoting my mother's phrase, they simply have "No cow-sense!"

Ransacked and found!

Ransacking my cupboard for something to write on, I found my old notebook. Ransacking my notebook for empty pages, I found my stories! Hahaha...Oh, well, at least a little of them!

I had forgotten I wrote during those years when I became one the many billions of labourers in the world. Entries were sporadic, really. But each start of a burst, there was always a pledge of intention to write, write and write! I laugh now!

Really, reading the things that I wrote just now, made me shake my head in disbelief. They are really funny and wildly scandalous. My embarrassing declarations of love all captured there, my desperate attempts of writing down phone messages that I wanted to keep, as those were still dark days of limited technology functions and memory space on mobiles, my list of expenditure during a trip and oh, classic, a few doodles!

Two things that I can attest that didn't change are myself and my bad handwriting. I was a very disoriented person, and still am now, if not worse. Although, as I was reading, I felt that I actually wrote slightly better and sounded more positive then. As for the handwriting, well, it was bad, and it is still bad. Perhaps, I am a lost cause. Hahaha...

Many of the pages are still bare. I doubt that I will filling up those empty lines with words for paragraphs, for I have here now. I might just use it to fill them up with my lousy attempts to sketch my ideas. Those fuzzy pictures laying dormant in the head need to be sharpened and the best way is to try to bring it to life. So far, it's like kiddy's work!

I will, I think, in the future, reread them again, I believe. Just to remind myself, what I kind of a person I was, with hollow aspirations and sporadic concentrations and ineloquent, new word learnt yesterday! And also, mostly, just to give myself a good laugh. Hahaha..

It's beginning to get to me

I want something

That's purer than the water

Like we were

It's not there now

Ineloquence and anger

Are all we have

Like Saturn's rings

An icy loop around me

Too hard to hold

Lash out first

At all the things we don't like

Or understand

And it's beginning to get to me

I know more of the stars and sea

Than I do of what's in your head

Barely touching in our cold bed

Are you beginning to get get my point?

They're always fighting with aching joints

It's doing nothing but tire us out

No one knows what this fight's about

The answer phone

The lonely sound of your voice

Frozen in time

I only need

The compass that you gave me

To guide me on

And it's beginning to get to me

That I know more of the stars and sea

Than I do of what's in your head

Barely touching in our cold bed

Are you beginning to get get my point?

They're always fighting with aching joints

It's doing nothing but tire us out

No one knows what this fight's about

It's so thrilling but also wrong

Don't have to prove that you are so strong

'Cause I can carry you on my back

After our enemies attack

I tried to tell you before I left

But I was screaming under my breath

You are the only thing that makes sense

Just ignore all this present tense

We need to feel breathless with love

And not collapsed under its weight

I'm gasping for the air to fill

My lungs with everything I've lost

~ Snow Patrol ~

Bursting Inspiration

I'm inspired! I have so many things going through my head right now, I feel like bursting!!

I ran away from the large waters making stops in Krung Thep now and am now back at home sweet home of Melaka, lulling the day away. My lack of discipline has simply turned me to a fat gatherer and I waste tons and tons of god given neurons into oblivion. I know I will regret this as I regress further into stupidity. Each day is spend reading and surfing the net, both activities only wastes resources but neither generating any income for me.

But yesterday was wonderful! I was browsing again, just like the days before and saw an advertisement. I didn't think much of it except that seeing that rekindled my interest in an idea I had long before, which I had, lazily, pushed so far back into the queue of things to get done.

I started browsing and amazingly, found a whole new world of wonderful crafty things which I can do now that I have time in my hands. I even came across the more sophisticated version of my idea, complete with step by step instructions.

Last night was certainly an inspiring read. I definitely want to give it a try. And my target, I want to get my little idea done before the Chinese New Year celebration. Celebrate in style, MY home made style! My first project will be to start re-brewing my idea and then realize it. In between, mini projects to be done! Lots of ideas for me to carry out!

After escaping from nam tuan in Krung Thep, this is the first time I am feeling quite good for myself. I need this boost in spirit, mind and soul. Just reading about them had managed to give me an absolute lift in those areas, whatmore when I start working on these wonderful things! They might be not be easy but I'm sure they would be puzzles and stumbling blocks which I believe that I wouldn't mind slogging over, if they are. Just like my homemade mosquito nettings!

Now to collect the materials earnestly.

Not again, please

Once, quite a long time ago, long before I started this blog, I was heavily clouded with anger over an issue. I had never felt such fury towards anyone before, that was the first.

The cause of the unfortunate condition was my uncles had spoken cruelly of my mother to me. They didn't do it person, but instead they sent text messages to complaint of their resentment and dissatisfaction to her through my mobile. At that time, my parents had yet to own their mobiles.

Until today, when I think back about that incident, I really cannot fathom how could it even crossed their minds that I would be able to just be a postman and relayed the messages unaffected. The messages were strongly worded and uncensored. It was a situation that I believe, they as siblings should deal with face to face and not dragged any unnecessary person into. Would they have quietly become messengers of bearing harsh words of their mother, my grandmother, to her, from her brothers? I would think not.

I remembered that I got so mad, I replied another strongly worded text messages to them, to condemn them of their very childish, utterly selfish and impossibly unreasonable behaviours. I didn't get any reply or any more messages from them after that. And I felt good to had been able to give them a piece of my mind.

The three of them had had made their peace, soon after. I am glad. That incident made me realized that, if the situation arose, I would be there for my family, safe guard them no matter what. I really hope I don't have to be put in a similar situation once again.

Heat, Sweat, Damp, MAD

My body is damp. The pores on my skin are releasing the tiniest beads of sweat in this sweltering weather. My upper body is slightly better, being in the path of the breeze blown from the fan. It's the lower part that is feeling terribly damp, especially as I sit in front of the laptop. I can feel my pants getting wet!

No, contrary to the norm, my room isn't equipped with the luxury of an air-conditioning unit. So even the breeze from the fan is warm. Occasionally I have to get up and allow the fan to blow my bottoms dry. Not to sound disgusting but I really don't to risk boils or anything disgusting to grow on my bottoms, how imperfect they may be, as I think that this might be the best condition for disgusting things to thrive!

How maddeningly sweaty this heat is making me!

3 years ago, almost

In a little more than 2 weeks, I will mark the 3rd anniversary of the start to what is largely the third main phase of my life. How time flies!

When I looked back, it was as though yesterday that we were just plotting and planning to catch up and drink the night away. What was thought to be only an opportune meeting had indeed carved out a phase of my life right out from my fantasy into realization.

"from the day we were supposed to meet at IOI Mall at 830pm, with little bit of drizzle..1 waja and a mighty innova parking opposite of each other...that was the starting point of getting us back on track again, I believe..."

Was it my girlish fantasy working into overdrive, seeing what was clearly supposed to be seen, instead of going with an open mind and closed heart? Or should it be the other way round, closed mind and opened heart? It might seemed that fate brought us along that night, that the stars and planets secretly aligned to make what we both wished for to fall into place, and got on moving on track again. I would always remember that feeling.

"Such lengthy mail, yet seemed like not long enough for you to convey whatever that's brewing in your crazy smart head. But hey, in case you feel like leaving your shitty job, you may want to consider a job as a writer or article contributor, you can write too :D"

I shall miss the minutes of swinging in between crazy craps with you so easily, having lunches with you, getting pointers, and playing with n82's cam module, and of course, feeling uneasy kena stare!"

How easy it was to communicate with you then! Everything was free flow, expressive and needn't be run through multiple layers of muslin cloths. Words were exchanged unstintingly, expressions were shared lavishly, honest thoughts were so generously laid out in emails and brought to life by the emotions they conveyed so vividly. How sweet we both were. How gentle. I will always cherish those exchanges!

"yet, sometimes, i wonder, if you know, why do you insist in pushing, and really pushing for my answers, or affirmation?

"i'm exhausted, always when i think of you, because i cannot fathom how you cannot understand me."

3 years ago, almost. We cannot turn back the clock, to the times that we cherished and treasured, for then the history will be rewritten and we will not be as what we are now. But yet, at times, I really wish hard for a time machine to be at my disposal, so that I may visit these moments once again, when I am at my lowest ebb or living my life to the fullest, just to remind me how lucky I am.

Thank you so very much for the memories and for the courage.

"Further message truncated due to quota reached, ML "

KTM intercity service

The investigator is back, with some good news!

I went to the KTM website, http://www.ktmb.com.my/ and I wasn't disappointed! Yes, that's a good thing, for I had been let down by many times before by these service providers through their sites.

The site is quite good actually, if you take your time to navigate. Clicking on the available tabs one by one, reading the information given, I actually felt confident enough to try out the trip tomorrow (or later today, technically speaking!). The site offers the schedules, the types of train available, the various lines, services provided, among others, and best, it's bilingual. And the English is good!

I particularly found this link here https://intranet.ktmb.com.my/e-ticket/login.aspx , super useful for me! It certainly summarized all the information that I clearly. And it is simple enough to use. Basically, it follows a little like booking a plane ticket, only this is restricted to a one way journey per booking. You choose your station of origin, then your destination, and after that, your travelling date. Once you have done that, your train service options will be listed, also in the same page. You can then choose the option best suited to you, either by time or by the train service. Select it and you can at once see the seating style and the corresponding fare. Very easy and straightforward. Good for people like me.

Of course, I have not ventured so far as to ticket purchasing yet. Today's exercise was to gather as much information as I can on the KTM intercity service. I sure hope that part would be equally user and customer friendly, if not better. Now, I have faith! Awesome site!

Oh and also a couple of things KTM might want to consider to add to the site are,

1 : Adding information on the all stations along the intercity route, eg: current condition, amenities available, etc. Pictures help.

2 : Describe and promote the towns which these stations are located, even the small ones. I think it will appeal to locals especially, as we are able to learn about the towns and their people. Who knows, it might help spur domestic tourism.

Just my two sens worth! Cheers and thanks for the good information!

And the search train rails on!

Right now, as I am checking out the train service in my country, I realized that I know very little of them. I don't know if they have any train line which stops at each train station in country.

Train service is not really popular among people that I know. The handful of people that I know had taken the train before, probably prefer driving to train taking now. It never crossed my mind to ask them about the service either then.

So right now, I'm left to conduct my own research. I really hope that I can get enough information from the internet without needing to call the train service provider tomorrow. If it gets to that, it would be a little disappointing to me considering that the government is really trying to promote tourism here.

My initial browsing so far has led me to some schedules of trains, express and non-express, I think. I am not sure about the latter, as the isn't any description on the name of the service. All the express train line names are preceded with the word 'ekpress' which cannot mean other than 'express'. I hope.

It is the non-express lines that I am interested in. I just want to try out the service first, so the idea I have in mind is to hop from the nearest station to my place to the next nearest station, and then back. That's the master plan.

I wonder too, how can I get to that train station, if I do not want to drive or take the taxi. I wonder if the is any public bus that goes that way. Or if I do drive, is there any parking lots available for the commuters.

And not forgetting the fare. I've to stumble across any guide to the fare for the non-express lines. Also, the amenities each train car provides. Toilet is very important!

And so, the search train rails on!

I write?

I Write?

The start.

Writing is one of the four components in learning language. I had always been inclined to write. I guessed, my interest started when I was in my tween, although the term was coined then. Never an active girl, the only activity I indulged in was reading. Story books and newspapers became my companions. I guessed, it was the only natural step that I took to try writing my own stories, or more like compositions. Only few pages long and most of them were about my morbid fantasies of love and death. Puppy love, more like it.

Bold.

Writing allowed me to be bold. Yes, I was a timid girl. I still am, now, I think. With writing, I allowed my fantasies to come alive. I lived in them, sometimes. When I was young, in primary school, I was infatuated with a boy, who wasn't that friendly with me. I wrote our love stories, or wrote stories with characters based on him and his family, and sometimes me. I grew out of that after a while, luckily! When I was slightly older, I wrote about what I taught about my life, my family, my school teachers, friends, anything.

Diary.

I think it is safe to say almost every girls who could write, owned a diary at some point of their lives. I did, for a while. It was a thick hard cover, exercise book actually, my mother's, which she didn't use or got from school. My diary writing was weird. I wrote everywhere, anything. I didn't develop any system, not chronologically, topical, mood, nothing. The diary was a jumble of thoughts of anything and everyone or everything and no one. I had the perpetual fear of it getting discovered by my family members.

School.

I didn't write for school. Sadly. We didn't have a school magazine per se but we did have a biannual school magazine, where they would compile classes photos, groups photos, teachers, etc. For articles, teachers would select works from the students, real compositions written by students for classwork. During my last year, I was asked by my English teacher to write about my experience in school. I wrote what I felt, really, honestly, but she deemed it not fit for publication and so mine wasn't published. I didn't really enjoy my secondary school, in case you are wondering.

Dictionary.

Every writer would most likely have a favourite dictionary. I didn't. I could not be bothered to learn the meaning of new words or their spellings. Not sure why, though I did suspect that might be due to the fact that I didn't really learnt how to use the dictionary well at that time. I knew how to find words, but couldn't understand the pronunciation symbols (phonics, I found out later) and the word class. Maybe that's why my writing is a little stagnated, immature. Though, I use the available online dictionary and spell checks now.

When it matters most.

When it matters most, I wrote terribly. During exams, during tests, I would always be confronted with a case of writers' block. I wouldn't be able to write beautiful sentences, vivid stories or meaningful compositions. Nor could I bring in-depth analytically writing to sense. My writings always brought down my performances. I could get praises for classwork writings, though. Always.

Inconsistent handwriting.

In secondary school, my handwriting became inconsistent. I would start writing something in beautiful handwriting. As I went forth, it would slowly turn into scribbles. Once it was so bad that teacher actually cautioned me about it. I was most relief when I started typing. It saved me lots of embarrassment.

Now.

I try to write now, but only here. I was writing quite ferociously here quite a while back, but somewhat lost that fire. The quality of my writes also reflect that downhill pattern.

creative -> earn money

From a discussion about the latest creative idea we stumbled upon earlier today...

friend : creative -> earn money!!

me : no no

me : creative + daring (dare to realize it) == earn money

me : :D

me : i think we are all creative

me : the difference is whether we dare to realize our creative ideas

Is this thinking spot-on?

Wait, Waiting, Waited!

I would wait, I had said to myself.

I was waiting, I told myself.

I waited and then I cooled myself down.

At first I was sitting in front of the screen, constantly checking out the push messages. After about three quarters of an hour had lapsed, I peeking at my screen while reading the newspaper, old style. The push messages kept on coming, but the counter remained the same. The hands of the clock continue to tick, the short hand inching nearer and nearer to 7pm.

I started walking away from the pc, but still allowing it to run. Zach had already finished his dinner. Once in a while I peeked at the screen, only to notice the list of the push messages growing. Seemed like time was the fertilizer for the push message list, growing longer and longer. Still, the counter stagnated at number #2. Frustrating!

Around 7pm, I decided to throw in the towel. The waiting was in vain, definitely! The service had reached its end for that day couple hours earlier, I suspected. What I couldn't understand was why didn't they just announce it, instead of letting their customers wait. Totally incomprehensible and unacceptable customer service!

What a let down! I just wonder how you had come to be awarded with the title you hold now, for past years. Definitely a letdown!

I would wait, I had said to myself.

I was waiting, I told myself.

I waited and then I cooled myself down.

Don't be sad, mummy!

For the very first time, I saw my mother crying in front of my father, and me. In the midst of lunch, at a coffee shop. For her to do that, she must have been really sad. And really frustrated.

Her mind must be at the edge these past few days. Being here is not easy, not being welcomed is one thing, but being despised must have rattled her heart. And today's episode must have shattered the last bit of her of her strength to persevere.

I want to talk to her. Be kind to herself, not just to us. Be selfish enough to think of what she wants and do what she wants.

I must remember to control my temper to her too. Life's too short to have regrets, those unnecessary ones. She must not lose hope. She must remember we still support her. I still support her.

Don't be sad, mummy!

Missing in Action

My little brother is missing in action. I have not seen him online and he has not reply the email I dropped earlier this week. Wonder what he is up to.

Normally, whenever he needs to travel, he will inform my parents first. They have weekly standing appointment to chat over the internet, with both being at different ends of the world. So he will thus informed of his travel schedule, whenever he has them, so that my parents will not need to wait for the 'green' colour to appear on his profile.

I don't normally chat-talk with him,but we do chat once in a while, leaving messages to each other. I've been leaving messages to him, but have not got any reply yet. So wonder what is he up now.

I can either continue to leave him messages, or catch his wife for an update. She should have a better idea of his whereabouts, I hope.

All good things happen to those who wait, I hope!

I'm been trying very hard to contact the airline company which I purchased my return ticket to Krung Thep, for the whole day. I was of course, trying very hard using the cheap methods, ie, email, leaving messages on their wall and waiting, very patiently, for my turn in the live chat session. Apart from an acknowledgement of the message posted on their wall, I am still waiting for a real feedback from their customer care.

I could just have called them up, but I don't think I want to rake up so much in telephone bill charges. Yes, calling the sales office and talking to a customer care personnel might be a faster option. I did that once, somewhere about 2 years ago. My phone bill got bombed. At a rate of rm1.95 per minute, which I need to go through recorded answering system first before I can speak to a real customer care personnel, I don't think I want to repeat that, unless there is an absolute necessity.

Hence, my live chat session is now close to 6 hours, come another half an hour. I am still waiting for my turn, down to the 3rd in queue the last time I checked, from number 46th when I logged on. I really hope nothing funny will happen with it gets to my turn, like an error or no one's available because it's a public holiday here. Yes, I pray my turn will be fast and smooth.

I want to know if I need to swim in Krung Thep or grow fat in my historical city, next week. All good things happen to those who wait, they say. I have been patient. I hope I won't get disappointment. I am the 2nd in the queue now.

If you have a problem, face it! Don't faceBOOK it!

Are we shirking our responsibilities of face to face communications because of the birth of social networking sites? Or are we just using it as a tool for us to express ourselves, to allow ourselves to let go some steam of our chest before getting in step to find the solutions? I really hope it's the latter.

It is very normal for us to see postings about ourselves on we social networking pages, famous ones include facebook and twitter. We share our thoughts, our locations, our ambitions, what we are currently up to, our frustrations. Basically everything under sun, which we can think of. Some of us are obsessed with this kind of sharing, well, some of us are using it sparingly. Either way, these social networking sites have become a way of 'telling' in our lives.

It is a very effective way to spread something. One post is able to reach out the masses, if we allow it, within seconds. We grant the permission to others into our lives, to take a sneak peak. It is a good preface for others to know what is going on in our lives.

Many a times, I also see this tool being used as a way to vent out frustrations. While I am not against this and have to admit that I am guilty of doing so, I have also learnt that we cannot just vent out and not do anything. The problem we faced would still need to be addressed personally. The venting serves only as a temporary outlet.

The problem will still be there, infesting itself if the root cause is not dug out. Venting will help us get the sympathetic ears we might be craving for, even unknowingly, but the roots to the problem will continue to spread when the best solutions are not found out to weed out these poisonous roots. Left to rot, it's like a time bomb waiting to explode. I believe face to face communication is the only way to find the best solution in this area.

To vent out a problem and not have guts to find the best solution with the accused party is, to me, a coward's way to address a problem. You may get all the sympathetic support you wish for but if you don't put them to use, to build up your courage, all those kind words are put to waste.

Try to speak out and if for the first time, things fail to live up to your expected outcome, rejoice in knowing that at least you tried. One battle lost but your war will be easier. If you always shirk the battles you create then you definitely will lost in the war. Try whatever reason you want to give, but clearly, if it matters enough for you to post it in your social networking page or to twit it, then it is a battle you need to face.

I saw a post earlier today, which I think is so aptly put,

"If you have a problem, face it! Don't faceBOOK it". Whichever way you would like to argue, it's important to realize that all matters have to be addressed, not just solely facebooking it, or twitting it, or what ever sharing social networking sites we have.

Oh, Cola Chicken?

Oh!

The Waiting Colas for Cola Chicken?

What do you all think?

Why shouldn't I?

Okay, stay tuned!

Wish me luck!

Waiting Colas

I have a new green umbrella, sitting in the car now. There are also 2 cups full of cola drinks sitting in the fridge since last Sunday. They are still there awaiting their fate because neither me nor Wonderful Guy wants to take a go at them.

Also, I've gained a kilo or thereabout since last weekend while I believe Wonderful Guy has added an inch, at least, around the waist, judging from the pudgi-ness that sticks out whenever he sits down without his shirt on.

We have all these now because of the by-product of an excellent marketing campaign by the proprietors of our Sunday dinner. Salesman with a spot on sales promotion on a rainy season. Buy the promoted meal and get an umbrella for free.

It was a real value for money deal. Pay only for the meal which was large enough to feed four persons and get one good quality umbrella for free. An excellent bargain as we could use an additional umbrella for the new baby, the car.

The only small problem was the meal was for four but there were only two of us. We managed to solve it by dividing the food for 3 meals, consumed over 2 days. Nothing wasted, only fat gained.

Ah but alas! The 2 cups of colas still awaits their conqueror, in the fridge.

maiden Assam Fish

My very own self-cooked Assam Fish!

I finally cooked Assam Fish for the very first time. It was excellent! After panic attacks in the beginning, the final product was just wonderful.

Of course, I have to share the cooking credits with my mother and also my mother-in law. The former for preparing the spice needed to make Assam Fish, and the latter for providing the fried fish. Yeah, for the purist, you could say that I technically did not cook the dish at all. All I did was to put all the ingredients together and create the dish.

But I begged to differ. Assembling all the prepared ingredients takes a lot of effort and skill, and in this case of mine, lots of energy and a bit of googling.

Remember I said earlier there were panic attacks? Well, the story goes like this.

This idea of mine, to cook the Assam Fish had been brewing in my head for quite a long time. So it just good timing that on the my last trip back home, mom had cooked some Assam fish and had actually prepared extra paste. I, of course jumped at the offer when she offered me some to bring to Krung Thep.

Fried fish was supplied by my mother inlaw. She had since the last 2 trips, been supplying some fried fish to us. She would painstakingly deep fry pieces of fish and then pack them in plastic bags before freezing them. She would them pass these packs of frozen fried fish to Wonderful Guy, who would bring them over. Well, for the last trip, I guessed she must have handed a few packs of these frozen fried food to Wonderful Guy and he, I guessed must have just taken them and packed them up, assuming that they were all frozen fried fish.

I didn't really check them either, and when I opened the fridge and took a bag out, I assumed that they were all the same, fried fish. So there I went, placed that bag along with the bottle assam paste and placed them nearby the stove to defroze.

Happily, nearing dinner time, I went about to start my cooking Assam Fish. I heated the saucepan on the stove, adding some oil. While waiting for the oil to heat up, I took out the pack of lady's fingers from the fridge and jar of tamarind paste from the cupboard. When the oil was hot enough, I put some spoonfuls of the assam paste into the saucepan. The smell that permeated was just wonderful. I gave it a light stir before deciding that it was time to put in the fish as well.

So imagine my surprise when I took the pack and untied the rubber band holding it, and saw chicken in it! Hah, I was stunt momentarily. I cursed, I have to say, I did. The paste was already cooking in the hot saucepan. I quickly poured some water into the saucepan to avoid them paste for burning.

Frantically, I opened the freezer door and rummaged through to find the fish. The elusive fried fish. I had wanted to use the pieces but alas, they were not more! Only 2 big pieces of fish were there, so I took those. I them dropped them into the saucepan. Phew, luckily. I took a breather, but I guessed, a tad too soon.

Assam fish needs tamarind paste in its sauce. I had to put in the paste early to allow the fish to boil and absorb the taste of the sauce. I took the tamarind jar, just bought earlier of the week after searching high and low for it for quite some time, and tried to open the lid. It just wouldn't budge!

I tried and tried, using my right hand, then changing to my left, then try by cover the lid with clothe, it just wouldn't budge. I got a little panicky again. I lowered the heat of the stove. I tried to think what else I could try. I sat of the floor, jar between by two feet to hold it in place, and with both hands, I tried with all my might to turn the lid. It still refused to loosen its grip!

I got even more frustrated. The soup was heating up, reaching a boil very soon and the jar was still intake, the tamarind paste untouched. I took to google. Tap the left side of the bottle, right side of the bottle, bottom of the bottle, top of the bottle and then try again, one of the many tips I found. I tried, no avail. Didn't try running the lid under running water though. One tip I chanced on, if all fails, try to wedge the lid from the glass bottle using a butter knife or anything possible.

That stuck in my head, I took the can opener and with its sharp tip, I wedged it at the holding point between the lid and bottle and applied a little pressure. I felt the lid loosen up a little. Again, I tried to unscrew the lid, but it still couldn't open. The soup was almost boiling already. I guessed that left me with no choice but to do that, the little wedging thing at more points. I think in total, I did that to about 5 points, spread around the lid. After all that hardwork, I tried once more, praying hard and finally, the lid opened. I could have my tamarind paste!

Wasting not time, I took spoonfuls of the paste and added to the soup in the saucepan. Luckily, still in time as the soup had still not boil at that time. I stirred in the paste and turned the heat up. I relaxed. Finally, I could feel my Assam Fish coming along well.

It did and it turn out great! Just delicious! The lady's fingers were not overly cooked and the fish was not too soft. The Assam gravy itself was excellent, not too watery. Overall, I am very satisfied. After the panic attacks, I am just proud of my maiden Assam Fish. Wonderful Guy missed the it, but not to worry, there's a piece of fish waiting for him and I saved some gravy.

Shut down

Monday was a bewilderment.

In what could be a day ending on a high note, it ended terribly, unexpectedly. I felt confused. A confrontation bubbled up from no where and it seemed, by me. A confrontation that was not supposed to be, in the very first place.

My usual self once again caught off guard. In a 180 degrees turn, what was a sweet and lovely telephone conversation suddenly became confrontational for a comment that I decided to voice out.

I wonder now, if that biting anger was roused from the sleeping green-nosed pig by my reaction towards a comment I received, which I overtly mentioned was rudely addressed to me, before I voiced out my opinion.

An eye for an eye. Again. I really must learn to shut down.

Even though recovery was faster, this time.

Running Myself

Forcing myself to start tracking my expenditure right down to the cents. From both bahts to ringgits, I had decided that in order to better manage whatever little monies I have, I have to keep a hawk's eye over my personal finances.

Having the chance to look over some corporate finances for the past few months also somehow influenced me to do so. Then, I had the chance to view how the finances of a corporation, not large though, was being tracked. Every cent was accounted for and every expenditure was justified, well almost. I was able to see the yearly estimations, the expenditure, the details breakdown in expenditure. In all, I was practically given the first hand tutorship on how a corporate finance is run. I was inspired.

I had always thought that my personal expenditure is spiraling out of control. I feel that I am always buying things that I don't need, especially from the supermarkets. And since I don't have an income, this is really a worrisome behaviour. My monthly allowance barely sees any substantial balance come month end which could be called savings. Yet, when I look around, there's nothing to show from all my purchases. Except, fat, if one could be proud of that.

Thence, the birth of my very own corporation, myself. Running my finances like how I had been tutored in, noting the purpose of each and every satang and at certain times, sen, and tracking it down. I stop short of creating vouchers or official documents as how companies would, for traceability. Perhaps, if there's a need, I would introduce it later, but certainly not now.

Discipline is really important in this exercise. One really has to try to abandon the thought that our memory will not fail when it comes to remembering what we spent on. I know I have to change my school of thought on that. Everything is track now, in file. With Office, everything is made simpler.

So far, in this first month of running my company, it has been smooth. I tried to backdate as much as possible, especially in terms of noting down the movement of the monies but I resigned to the fact that accuracy can only start this month. The rest are just estimates.

My biggest challenge is yet to come, when I fly back this weekend for a friend's wedding. I know I have to continue to this exercise diligently but I don't plan to bring my trusty laptop, where this is written now and files are being kept, so I'm currently formulating alternative plans on how to continue this. I might have to just make do with the notebook in the phone. Furthermore, being at home is really like going on holiday. I always OVERSPEND on these occasions. There is always a someone to treat, a dinner to partake, a present to get, a something to buy to bring over.

Diligence is the key, if you want to manage your finances successfully. And I would love to have that.

Like a seesaw

Like seesaw, that's how the weather is like over here in Krung Thep of late. The morning can be so hot that it forces you to get up and leave the bedroom, if you like lucky me to have the morning sun shining into the room. Then, as the day progresses, clouds will slowly loom over the sky, creating a grey overcast. Then, the rain almost never fails to fall. Occasionally it's just a slight shower. If you are unlucky, heavy rain fall might catch you while you are out and about on the streets, almost always forgetting to bring that little yellow umbrella along as it was just too bright when you left.

This is the weather in Krung Thep now. I've learn to always stop a moment before leaving apartment to check if the umbrella is my bag. My failure rate is 10% so far. Never been caught without an umbrella during rainy days. Lucky me!

However, there are days when the strong winds accompany the rain. I've had the opportunity to observe falling rain from my unit once. The wind was blowing quite strong on that particular day, and without a particular direction. From the little balcony, I saw a little storm of rain water swirling on the roof of the nearby building, creating something not unlike a mini tornado. On those days, I pray that my trusty umbrella can stand the battering of mother nature.

Sometimes, the rain decides not to stop for a day. It will drizzle and drizzle, just hard enough to keep the roads wet and excite your sleepy genes. On those days, I find it hard to do anything, at all. The bed beckons with open arms.

Other times, like today, it would be so hot, it burns. When you are under it, you can feel your skin just heating up, really and all that you want is be under a shade, if you are out. Me, today is out of character. I usual am not fond to go out in the blazing sun but today is a miracle. I can still feel the heat on my skin.

And just as though it wants to prove it's point, it drizzled on my way back. Ah, the weather in Krung Thep now. Like a seesaw!

Paying for Hassle

When the society that we live in is not simple, we should not make it less simple anymore than we could.

In a very disturbing way, the lawyer engaged to deal for our certain transaction has yet again proven to be very unprofessional and almost juvenile in his conduct.

Hazy explanations, undecided instructions, unprincipled way of working has led us into quite a fair amount of mental stress and messy situation, when, in the very first place, if he had thought it through, all these the muck could be avoided.

I think I have a quite a tolerable amount of patience towards people in the service area, as I think that so long they try hardest and their best, mistakes can be forgiven. Once, twice or thrice committing the same offence when they still green at it, I believe I can bear.

However, when the said is supposedly a pro hand in their trade and has had, supposedly, a decent and fair amount of years of experience under their professional belt, this kind of incompetency is just not tolerable. Or justified.

It frustrates me that we have to pay such a high price for a service which gives us more headache, mental anguish and unnecessary runaround when in the very first place, all could be done very simply. This doesn't seem right, at all.

It's high time the lawyer gets fired, once this is over. Paying for hassle is NOT CLEVER.

Happy Malaysia day!

Happy

M A L A Y S I A

Day

Malaysians live as Malaysians,

Malaysians listen as Malaysians,

Malaysians grow as Malaysians,

Malaysians learn as Malaysians,

Malaysians love as Malaysians,

Malaysians are Malaysians,

Malaysians for Malaysians!

Happy birthday, Mum.my

I have been a very bad daughter, I believe. I didn't do and take enough actions for my mother to remember me, not even for my bits and pieces. Either that, or she just doesn't believe that I would go into much trouble to send her a birthday card to wish her on her big day. At least not when I'm not in the country.

Two days ago was her birthday and I am still out of the country. Yesterday the postman brought her a birthday card, from me and Wonderful Guy. In most likelihood, the postman around noon. In the late evening, I got a mail from her, informing me she got a card from Wonderful Guy, and that she sent an sms to thank him but it had yet to get through, then. She wanted to get his email from me.

I was a little disappointed. It was my idea to get the card, I chose and got the card, wrote on the card and the details on the envelope. Wonderful Guy signed it beneath his name, and brought it back to help me get the card posted, since he was travelling back.

Had my ugly and unstable handwriting finally be my undoing? It could have been so unrecognizable that the only clue to ascertain the sender of the card was from the postmark, which was of course from where Wonderful Guy dropped it off into postbox, in his hometown. Or, my track record made it quite not possible that I would be the sender. Or, so smitten she is of Wonderful Guy, she has forgotten me? Oh my, might this be the first case of Kulit Lupakan Kacang?

Nah, I guessed she just didn't expect that I would send her a birthday card. Furthermore, since I've not made any mentioned at all to her on this on the her birthday call or in any one of the mails I sent her, or during the calls we had over the net. This does make me realize that she doesn't recognise my handwriting or style of writing, if that's possible.

Happy birthday, Mum.my. Remember me, please, for the good stuff too. I'm possible for those, as well.

Macam nak Sambal

Rasa macam nak makan nasi dengan sambal! Tak kisah jenis sambal, asalkan sambal tu cukup rasa, cukup pedas, dan cukup!

Back to the days of my childhood. Didn't think that the simple pleasures of growing up in the village can be so hard to come by now. As a child, I loved having sambal, blended fried chilli paste. I could just have it with rice, and I would be happy. It was that simple. My father could never understand, it wasn't how he grew up. My mother had to teach the art of restrain to me, after all there were others who had not had their meals.

Right now, sitting in front of the telly, having just woken up after a 2-3 hours sleep, my mind is in a blur. I feel uncomfortable. There's a funny taste in my mouth, like I need to vomit but not so just yet. The side effect of sleeping, or not sleeping last night.

I want to have something familiar. Some comfort food. Like sambal. Right now, I only have biscuits on the plate and coffee. Sigh. No sambal.

The Wonderful Mooncake Tau Tsar Pneah

I accidentally made tau tsar pneah! And I'm not kidding at all.

Today, after a day out of the oven, my failed mooncake tasted even more like tau tsar pneah. For the uninitiated, tau tsar pneah is a type of round, Chinese biscuits with flaky skin and grounded mungbean filling fried with shallot oil, I think.

Mine was baked, with oats filling. The skin was not flaky but it wasn't as hard yesterday when it just got out of the oven. It was crispier hard yesterday, but today, it was crispy nice. The oils must have had time to seep into the skin, I guess. Else god pitied me.

I actually set out in the attempt to make my own mooncake. The thing is, if this is your first time baking mooncake, ideally you should follow the recipe to the dot. Well, me being my ambitious self, decided to improvise.

First, I had the wonderful thought to try my hand at creating a sugarless mooncake, but of course without spending extra on getting some sugar replacement products. Sugarless means not using sugar at all.

Secondly, I didn't have any beans to make the paste filling and was too lazy to slog away over the stove to prepare the filling. So, instead, a bulb lighted up in the crazy head and I got the idea to substitute the beans with oats, with flavour, of course. The health conscious me chose green tea.

Finally, I missed read the instruction to prepare the skin. Reading it again, I realized most of the recipe called for the dough for the skin to sit and sleep for hours, not minutes. I only rested mine for a mere half an hour!

No wonder it failed. The skin came out to hard. The thickness was of course way off, as I really cannot estimate well the amount of dough and filling I should prepare. I decided to just use up all and not have any leftovers, so everything went in, nothing wasted.

No rolling pin also made it slightly inconvenient to flatten the dough properly. I used a glass, the only one in the apartment, which was not even a straight cylinder. It was a sexy glass, with curves. Rolling tough dough with a sexy glass was stressful. Too soft, the dough won't flatten out, too hard, well, the glass might just break, right?

Since this was the maiden attempt, well, I didn't bother to even get the mooncake mould. No one would even guessed what I used to make my mooncake. Get ready for it, the cut out base of a mineral bottle! Yup, that's right! I actually cut out the bottom portion of a small mineral bottle, about an inch from the base and used that to mould my mooncake. There were some marks for the patterns, but nothing fancy like intricate designs in proper mooncake mould.

I managed to get 5 small mooncakes. And when I had finished mould them, I didn't think that it would fail so badly. I knew they might have slightly thicker than normal skin but it didn't cross my mind that the skin on the five was going to be crunchy hard!

The first 10 minutes I was actually still optimistic. It was towards the second half of the baking process that I knew it was going to fail. The dough started to increase in shape and then I could see the skin getting crispier. Then later, the base of the mooncake dough cracked open, spilling out of the filling. That was when I knew, this attempt failed.

Trying out the first piece was like having hard tau tsar pneah. And the taste was bland. Very bland. No green tea. Nothing. The filling tasted, well, very oatsy! As I was struggling to finish the mooncake, my mind cringed at the thought of this was only the first!

This morning, I had my second mooncake tau tsar pneah for breakfast. It was a pleasant surprise. Like I mentioned earlier, god must have pitied me, thus making the mooncake tau tsar pneah, the outcome of my mooncake experiment gone horribly wrong, tastes better. In better, it means, bearable! My wonderful accidental creation, Mooncake Tau Tsar Pneah!