3 years ago, almost

In a little more than 2 weeks, I will mark the 3rd anniversary of the start to what is largely the third main phase of my life. How time flies!

When I looked back, it was as though yesterday that we were just plotting and planning to catch up and drink the night away. What was thought to be only an opportune meeting had indeed carved out a phase of my life right out from my fantasy into realization.

"from the day we were supposed to meet at IOI Mall at 830pm, with little bit of drizzle..1 waja and a mighty innova parking opposite of each other...that was the starting point of getting us back on track again, I believe..."

Was it my girlish fantasy working into overdrive, seeing what was clearly supposed to be seen, instead of going with an open mind and closed heart? Or should it be the other way round, closed mind and opened heart? It might seemed that fate brought us along that night, that the stars and planets secretly aligned to make what we both wished for to fall into place, and got on moving on track again. I would always remember that feeling.

"Such lengthy mail, yet seemed like not long enough for you to convey whatever that's brewing in your crazy smart head. But hey, in case you feel like leaving your shitty job, you may want to consider a job as a writer or article contributor, you can write too :D"

I shall miss the minutes of swinging in between crazy craps with you so easily, having lunches with you, getting pointers, and playing with n82's cam module, and of course, feeling uneasy kena stare!"

How easy it was to communicate with you then! Everything was free flow, expressive and needn't be run through multiple layers of muslin cloths. Words were exchanged unstintingly, expressions were shared lavishly, honest thoughts were so generously laid out in emails and brought to life by the emotions they conveyed so vividly. How sweet we both were. How gentle. I will always cherish those exchanges!

"yet, sometimes, i wonder, if you know, why do you insist in pushing, and really pushing for my answers, or affirmation?

"i'm exhausted, always when i think of you, because i cannot fathom how you cannot understand me."

3 years ago, almost. We cannot turn back the clock, to the times that we cherished and treasured, for then the history will be rewritten and we will not be as what we are now. But yet, at times, I really wish hard for a time machine to be at my disposal, so that I may visit these moments once again, when I am at my lowest ebb or living my life to the fullest, just to remind me how lucky I am.

Thank you so very much for the memories and for the courage.

"Further message truncated due to quota reached, ML "