I have, beside me now, a catalogue for paint colours. I have, behind this windows, windows opened to pages of paint colours and related simulation tools. At a little corner of my table, a small space is taken up by some pieces of recycled papers, with a box of colour pencils, coloured drafts sketched on them.
[ Needless to say, these are tools to feed my conscience. Does it help? Yes, partially only, to feed my very rusted and untrustable imagination gear. To see helps, I always fool myself. This time notwithstanding. ]
I am not an artist nor a designer. I am just a soul so overwhelmed with the myriad of available paint colours out there and so pressed to include the likes and preferences of others in my decisions while trying to not forget to love myself too.
[ Though I wish, too. Surround yourself with so many available canvases since day one. So many chances to use and test, until the day you have to do it for yourself, you would have had seen the best and tried many a times that you can but only save the best for yourself. Now, wouldn't that be nice? ]
Life in neutral is safe. Life in bright hues is uplifting. Life in contrasts is mostly very challenging yet can sometimes turn out endearing. Life is harmonies evokes calmness, most of the time. Life in tones is very subjective. Life in colours is, well, ALIVE.
[ How can I choose? Tell me. Teach me. What is to be taken heavier in my considerations if I am always stuck with this cloud of 'in-debtness' swirling above my head? I cannot, really cannot, push away that cloud, no matter how hard I try to do. No matter how hard I try to disengage myself from that thought. It's heavy, I feel it, I see it, I feel it. Always. ]
Choose I have too, chose I had. Lets just enjoy the outcome. Else, get use to it and then enjoy it.
[ Start praying now. Prepare your neck too. ]
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