What can I do?

What can I do now? I 've just MyPerformer to airport, so reluctantly letting him go. What can I do? He needs to go back to his life and work.
This is the third time, I am sending him away. My little performer, dubbed MyPerformer. It should be that as I get more practise, it should be easier to let go. Instead, it's getting more and more difficult. Each time, I am more reluctantly to let him go. My heart gets heavy and my brain finds it hard to focus during the drive back to my humble digs.
Why, oh why, is this happening? The more I spend time with him, the more I feel that this is what love could be, should be, and is. Each visit is short and sweet, but the parting is very heartbreaking, shattering, yet sweet and lovely, all rolled together.
When I am alone again, looking forward towards the next performance, the tendency to do nothing but wait is very strong. Wait only for the next performance. Everything else is done half heartedly. Vicious cycle that I am in now!
What can I do? Really, what can I do?