so many perhaps..

Perhaps, I should have taken a longer breather.
Perhaps, I should not have accepted the proposal.
Perhaps, I am too just rash, unadaptable, and not understanding enough.
Perhaps, I am just too moody.
Perhaps, I just am letting my behaviour take control of me, an excuse.
Perhaps, I have not put the history completely behind.
Perhaps, I should not have tempted fate.
Perhaps, I should not expect everything from him.
Perhaps, I should learn to be more independent of him.
Perhaps, I should not be just who I am, but continuously strive to improve.
Perhaps, I should not let my emotions govern me too much.
Perhaps, I should take a new hobby.
Perhaps, I should more time to invest in growing myself, mentally and emotionally.
Perhaps, I just not just say, I am who I am.

What can I do?? These are just a tiny portion of what I should do. Time is really not waiting for me any longer. To be at my age, but still behaving like how I did, always, is certainly a worrying trend. My perhaps need answers.

But how to I do go about them? How do I get enlightened? Perhaps, I need a guidance light, to shine, to clear up, to show, to light up the end of this big yet winding tunnel. No!No! A winding tunnel reveals not the end of the tunnel to it's wanderer. I need something else, reflectors along the way to reflect the light at the end of the tunnel, so that I can see all along the way. My reward for threading the path, perhaps!