What goes around, do come around.

Close to a month and a half had passed by since I made known my decision to my now ex-significant other that I no longer desire to make the relationship work. Being the hand that delivered the that severe and very un-anticipated blow, I am surprisingly fast in deleting the memory of the both of us, as a couple, from the very limited high up in the jungles of my grey cells.

Ask me now, what were the words that I used to knife the bond that held us, I can but only remember, that I had told him I no longer want to continue this relationship. All the details to how I said it, the mood of at fateful night, or early morning, barely registers in my head now. It's a little disappointing, to be unable to remember such important details in one's life, but even more worrying is the fact that I am supposed to be able to remember all these details, me being at my age. Shouldn't I?

Am I being terribly ungrateful for the love and attention and support and help, all that I had been given and that I had received, to be able to not feel weighed down even by the slightest of guilt feeling? Instead, I feel as though I've been presented a shovel in life, to bury as much of the memories that I have of the now ended relationship, as fast as I can. I honestly felt that as though I've been a push to lift up higher in life, with a much more open and clearer mind.

To believe in karma, I would need to be very aware that, yes, one day, all that I had done to others, I will have to pay for them, if god is generous, then within this life. Else, perhaps like a friend said, maybe the length of the hideously long but failed relationship was a way that my past self had to repay my now ex. Either way, I, in whichever time universe or generation, would need to pay for my actions.

What goes around, do come around.