I (feel) sad, still

It was an outcome I had predicted. A reaction not so much alien nor surprising to me. Yet, somehow, it affected me deeply. In that short space of time, I could sense that my nonchalant mood plummeted, reaching almost rock bottom.

[Blame me for being un-single. Blame me for not being able to feel comfortable around everyone. Blame me for being a chicken. Blame me for the high wanting of not troubling people. Blame me for insisting on proving that I can do it on my own although I lack the communication skill. Blame me for being a girl. Blame me for .....having a courages episode, leading to all these]

Those thoughts swirled through my head. Grey. I could feel the greyness growing bigger and stronger, swirling faster with each passing second. I felt strained and agitated. The brewing thunderstorm in my head made it difficult for me to calm down. It was late, and after so many days, this was the night that I should end early for the next day was to start early and on time.

Eventually, a not too short time later, I guessed I must have fallen asleep. But not before being thrown words that indirectly labelled me unreasonable and selfish. I left the day unhappy. I right now have the autonomy to do what I want. I felt sad. I (feel) sad, still.