Lessons learnt the hard way

Important lessons learnt today, the hard way.

1.

Never put off what you can do today, tomorrow or until it's too late. When it's not now, it's always too late and the effect will be more magnified than you could imagine.

2.

Never assume. Assuming is THE perfect recipe for disaster, THE perfect ammunition you provide to others to kill you off.

3.

Don't expect others to give or remember that you had given, even after they had taken what you had given, unconditionally. Everybody will still only remember what you had NOT given.

4.

Don't be naive to believe and accept everything. Everything has to be official in black and white, to close any gaps that might expose and ruin you. You may speak in the language but you may not understand the same thing. So, always protect yourself.

5.

No one is like you, so if you think you will react one way, always take the action for the opposite, more severe reaction. I think!

There should be more to add into the list, but I somehow cannot find the appropriate words to string them into understandable sentences. Lessons learnt the hard way, may I always remember them and successfully apply them in life!

Free, Equal, One

Bumiputera. What is 'bumiputera'? Literally translated, the term, coming from the sanskrit word bhumiputra, of which bumi refers to land while putra refers to son, means 'sons of the land'. This is also a term synonymous with my country, in my opinion.

And what does 'sons of the land' means? Shouldn't it mean anyone who was born in that land is automatically considered a bumiputera? The land where you were borned in, you therefore are the son or the daughter of that land. Shouldn't it be that way?

In my country, this isn't the case. I am not a considered a bumiputera, nor are my parents, or their parents. Though we were all borned here, with the exception of my paternal grandparents, we are all considered non-bumiputera. The land where we took in our first breaths, where we first opened our eyes to, doesn't recognise us as its sons and daughters. Or more accurately, the rulers of the land doesn't recognise us, for the land accepts everything and everyone.

The importance of this status overrides that of citizenship. We are all citizens, but we are not bumiputeras. We enjoy the benefits of a citizen, but we do not get to enjoy the certain privileges accorded to those that come under this status. We are like the second class citizens. We need to adhere to all the rules and regulations, but we cannot enjoy its rewards fully.

Mine is not of a political blog. It's just my personal view on this matter, after coming across an article in the mainstream papers in this morning. In it, the prime minister of my country reiterated that a certain ethnic group in our country will continue to enjoy the benefits and privileges of holding the bumiputera status, as accorded to them by the first prime minister. This is the reward for their continuous loyalty and support towards the country and the ruling government, even after the political tsunami in almost 4 years back.

Now, reading the reason given, I'm totally despondent. Loyalty towards my country, I have. My parents have. This unquestionable. This is our country, where we were borned and where we live. We had never done anything to undermine our loyalty towards our country. I have never and will never. So why are we still going around with the tags non-bumiputera hung around our necks? Why cannot we too be considered bumiputeras, if that term is not to be abolished?

After all these years of independence, why cannot we all be considered citizens, free and equal, enjoying all the benefits and privileges, accepting all the penalisations. Why must we still be divided into different statuses, even though we are citizens, the rakyats, regardless of our political believes. And my naive-self truly believe we are ready for this kind of a country, free, equal, one.

I would like to stress that this is not a political blog. I am only expressing my view here on this subject, triggered after reading a report in the news this morning.

2 days, too long!

I was made aware this year that after being a married lady, I am only entitled to go home to my hometown for a full day maximum, with half days before and after for travelling.

For wanting to go back home on the very first day of Chinese New Year so that I would be able to have dinner with my family, I am considered stubborn and breaking the Chinese tradition.

For wanting to stay longer this year, that is to have 2 full days in my hometown, to enjoy the Chinese New Year, I am considered selfish, unreasonable and uncompromising.

The first reason I got from my husband for the opposition of the first want, was it would be quite a rush to go down to my hometown on the very first day itself, which is an hour and a half drive away via the highway, if there's no traffic jam. How interesting!

The second reason I got was he wants to visit cousins and relatives. That is more important than having a dinner together with my family, even after knowing that my brother and his family will leave on the 2nd day of Chinese New Year.

That fact was even taken as point to show that traditionally the Chinese wives go back to their hometown only on the 2nd day. A point to note is my brother and family stays in the same town as his wife's. That was the third reason given to me as to why we should only leave for my hometown on the 2nd day.

The first reason I got for the opposition of the second want was one full day is enough to visit my family and dining.

The second reason given to me on this was visitings done within those 3 days were merrier.

So if we were to go back on the 1st day, we should only stay until the 3rd day. If we went back on the 2nd day, then it would be okay to go back on the 4th day. Which, essentially points that I am only entitled to a full day of Chinese New Year celebration back in my hometown.

A point note is our place, which we are not really staying, and my husband's hometown is the same, and that the fourth day is a Thursday. I agreed to stay until the day he is flying off, which is on the 9th day. So, would he be able to finish all his visitings in a day? Would he not do any visiting during the weekends?

I told him that he is free to back whenever he wants and really if that's the case, I don't think I would go up. He said, I was being selfish and that I basically threatened him into agreeing to what I want.

My question is why is it that me wanting to spend more than a day in my hometown during CNY, is considered selfish while him wanting to spend the rest of the CNY in his hometown, is not considered so? WHY? Oh and according to him, everybody he spoke to said that spending 2 full days in HIS WIFE's hometown is too long!

I really need insights from other passerby!