Sleepless in Bishop Head1

It had been a long, cold night before. I was having trouble sleeping. Perhaps it was the cold, perhaps I was just too anxious. I believed Yin and I hit the beds around eleven that night, with the idea of giving our body ample rest before our attack on the submit trail of Mount Kinabalu. It might had been earlier, I could not recall for sure, but certainly, long after the lights were switched off, on the lower bunk bed furthest from the door of the room01 of Bishop Head 1 of the Mesilau Nature Resort, I tossed and turned in bed!

The cold was just overbearing. I could feel my toes getting cold first. The blankets were not adequate enough to keep me warm. The extra pillow I took from the empty bunk bed above me, I placed it over my toes. I had hoped it would help to keep them warm. After a while, I realized it was not working. I tried another way, slipping my feet inside the cover of the pillow. I knew it would not help much either, but at least when I turned about in bed, the pillow followed my feet.

As soon as I laid still, I could feel myself freezing up. The cold was a little unbearable for me. I tried to lay on my left side, facing Yin. She was having an easier time, or at least I thought. She laid still, not moving as much as I did. Perhaps, she was already asleep, I thought. I tried to consciously remind myself not to make too much noise whenever I had to turn about.

The night felt very long, very quiet. Even with the blankets covered right up under my chin, sometimes until only my nose and above it left exposed, I felt cold. Often, if I lay still for too long, I would shiver. Thoughts of getting more clothes and socks from the bag crossed my mind. But I didn't want to get out from the wrapped that I had built and lost what little warmth I had managed to trap under the covers. Furthermore, the bag had been packed, and I didn't think it was wise to unpack it, at such hour.

As the night moved on, I must had dozed off for some time, for I remembered being awaken by the sound of people walking outside, at the corridor. Or so I thought. I realized later that it was Yin, coming into the room, perhaps after visiting the loo. I was lying on my back then, trying to sleep. I could hear her getting back to bed, pulling the covers, adjusting herself in bed. I wondered what time it was then. I had thought it must had been near to the hours to rise, as I had felt like ages lying there, exhausted from trying to sleep. I was surprised to find out that it was only some time past one in the morning when I checked for the time, though I cannot recall the exact time now.

It was going to be a long night, no doubt. My thoughts were flying, yet I knew that I had to sleep. Without getting enough sleep, I would be tired faster when the hike started and my ascend to the peak might be severely compromised. But it was just too cold to sleep. When I lay still for too long, trying to calm myself so that I could sleep, it got too cold that I shivered. When I rubbed myself or tossed about, I got more active. Lost, I realized, good sleep would be impossible that night. I had to just do with what I could.

And so, I told myself not to think about the cold. The cold is just in your mind, someone had told me. I tried to force myself to believe that, and laid still, eyes closed. After a while, I tried to think of nothing, to clear my mind. If I could not sleep, at least I must try to relax myself. Let my mind to rest. That would be better than not getting any rest at all.

It must had worked a little. In the morning, again, I felt myself jolted up awake. I had the urge to go to pee, though not urgent. It must had been cold getting into my body system. I checked the time, almost nearing the hour to wake up. I laid in bed, waited for the urge to be stronger, to be more urgent. I didn't want get out of my blanket into the cold room. It was awhile before I left the bed, almost more than half an hour, almost nearly six in the morning, the time we agreed to wake up.

My movement must had woken Yin up, for she spoke to me. Thus, we rose to start the day of our bid to the submit of Mount Kinabalu, after battling the cold night. I could not specifically recall the details of what we did right after we decided to wake up, but in our early morning chat, I found out that she too had trouble sleeping. That she too, thought I had slept well. But she was far more layered then when she had gone to bed. Yin had, in the night, at that one time that I saw her back into the room, put on another set of clothes over the one she was wearing before getting back to bed. Smart gal!

Our guide, when we met him to go for breakfast together, did mentioned that he too found it difficult to sleep. That it was an exceptionally colder night compared to the previous times he was there. The other 2 guys, when asked, too experienced the same. The night was simply too cold for them to get a good night's rest, as well.

And that was how the four of us started climbing adventures, sleepless in the cold night at Mesilau Nature Resort's Bishop Head 1, rooms01 and 04, respectively.

Back to Basics

I personally believe that I'd lost the ability to concentrate long enough to efficient conduct critical thinking. I find it is getting more and more difficult every time I try to make an entry over here. While I feel that I want to write and make entries over here, they always end up being saved as drafts and never got continued. The few ones that made the entries this year were really draggy and way off the mark of what I intent to express, or at least I think I want to express.

I seem to lose my ability to express myself clearly. Seems like that happens in parallel when you are unable to focus long enough on a subject to clearly understand it. As a result, I would think I know a subject but yet, when questioned, I would not necessary be able to explain what I thought I knew.

I remember writing about quantity vs quality once. The concept of just practice makes perfect applying even to composition aspect of writing. I am keen to reapply that again. I am desperate to be able to express myself of late.

And while I have been reading a lot lately, I feel that the reading can be improve as well. I realized the reading done for the past few months had been of low quality as I took too long to finish up a book, with one spreading over almost a month! I gained nothing much from those reading, as I absorbed very little of the words, the styles, and could not recounts the tales again in my own words.

Just maybe I must just go back to the basics and do everything, one at a time. Set aside some time to only read and understand. Then think of a subject and write. No distractions and no ambitions. Turn it into a habit. Perhaps then, my ability to concentrate will improve. And with that, to carry out critical thinking better. I pray.

Remember being Enthralled

The cold wind blew strongly, enough to make me stop in my tracks to steady myself. I closed my eyes and let the wind blew into my face. The coldness was refreshing.

It was still very early in the morning, nearly six. Already, it was bright, with the sun beaming it's warm rays gently all around. A steady stream of hikers were making their descend down the slope, some going fast while others taking time to check their footings, all of them careful though.

I decided to remove my hood. I wanted to feel the breeze going through my hair. The sun's warmth would be enough to prevent me from freezing. Again, I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the moment. Short but enough to spur to me to move on. Towards the goal, my goal, our goal, the peak!

I quickly continued upwards, taking steady steps along the trail. My other 3 friends, along with the guide, had already almost reached the peak. Patiently they waited in queue, in front of the plague proclaiming Low's Peak and it's height of 4095.2m above sea level. A group of climbers were happily posing for their pictures to be taken.

As I caught with my friends, I too joined the crowd in queuing. In the wait, seeing the joy and exhilaration on faces of fellow climbers, I noticed a kind of camaraderie built on the foundations of pride. Proud that we made it to the top. It didn't matter if we were all strangers, everyone smiled proudly to each other. Congratulations were heard at every where.

The only regret I had was we only had a few minutes to pose with the proclamation plague. I would love to be able to get more shots of us there, but there were many others waiting in line for their proud moment to be recorded. We snapped a few pictures and wandered away.

That was when I slowed down, looked up and around, and was awe-struck! Awe over the sight that surrounded me. Never in my life had I seen landscape such like it. White clouds spread all over, like surface of a cake, while the various peaks of the mountain stood magnificently, waiting to be admired.

I realized that I needed to take in the beauty as much as I could for as long as I could. I managed to squeezed my way through to get around the other side of the plaque, sitting at the edge of a rock by a cliff. Only 3 metal wires were holding people back from falling over.

I sat and stared. In front of me, the sun shone slightly above the span of rock formation on the opposite, with a deep valley separating us. The view was simply stunning to me, nature at it's gloriest that I'd seen. With clouds fringing the massive spread of rocks, I really felt like it was heaven, and I was very lucky indeed to have been there.

I remember thinking we were just like little ants on a huge rock. While we basked in the sun, while we basked in the joy of our achievement, while cameras snapped away, we should never forget to behold the magnificent beauty in our eyes and forever embed it into our minds. I remember wanting to sit there, for while if not for the day, just to savour as much as possible of nature's gift to mankind. I voted against taking out my phone to record the splendid view of the peak. I voted to let my mind be exercised to detail out and treasure that moment. I calmed down and looked.

Getting our photos taken at the proclamation plague didn't seem that important to me anymore. Remembering that magnificent view of the peak, the feeling of reaching the peak and the feeling of being enthralled by nature's work became far more important to me. Knowing I was there, and that I made it. Heaven on earth.