Back to Basics

I personally believe that I'd lost the ability to concentrate long enough to efficient conduct critical thinking. I find it is getting more and more difficult every time I try to make an entry over here. While I feel that I want to write and make entries over here, they always end up being saved as drafts and never got continued. The few ones that made the entries this year were really draggy and way off the mark of what I intent to express, or at least I think I want to express.

I seem to lose my ability to express myself clearly. Seems like that happens in parallel when you are unable to focus long enough on a subject to clearly understand it. As a result, I would think I know a subject but yet, when questioned, I would not necessary be able to explain what I thought I knew.

I remember writing about quantity vs quality once. The concept of just practice makes perfect applying even to composition aspect of writing. I am keen to reapply that again. I am desperate to be able to express myself of late.

And while I have been reading a lot lately, I feel that the reading can be improve as well. I realized the reading done for the past few months had been of low quality as I took too long to finish up a book, with one spreading over almost a month! I gained nothing much from those reading, as I absorbed very little of the words, the styles, and could not recounts the tales again in my own words.

Just maybe I must just go back to the basics and do everything, one at a time. Set aside some time to only read and understand. Then think of a subject and write. No distractions and no ambitions. Turn it into a habit. Perhaps then, my ability to concentrate will improve. And with that, to carry out critical thinking better. I pray.

Remember being Enthralled

The cold wind blew strongly, enough to make me stop in my tracks to steady myself. I closed my eyes and let the wind blew into my face. The coldness was refreshing.

It was still very early in the morning, nearly six. Already, it was bright, with the sun beaming it's warm rays gently all around. A steady stream of hikers were making their descend down the slope, some going fast while others taking time to check their footings, all of them careful though.

I decided to remove my hood. I wanted to feel the breeze going through my hair. The sun's warmth would be enough to prevent me from freezing. Again, I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the moment. Short but enough to spur to me to move on. Towards the goal, my goal, our goal, the peak!

I quickly continued upwards, taking steady steps along the trail. My other 3 friends, along with the guide, had already almost reached the peak. Patiently they waited in queue, in front of the plague proclaiming Low's Peak and it's height of 4095.2m above sea level. A group of climbers were happily posing for their pictures to be taken.

As I caught with my friends, I too joined the crowd in queuing. In the wait, seeing the joy and exhilaration on faces of fellow climbers, I noticed a kind of camaraderie built on the foundations of pride. Proud that we made it to the top. It didn't matter if we were all strangers, everyone smiled proudly to each other. Congratulations were heard at every where.

The only regret I had was we only had a few minutes to pose with the proclamation plague. I would love to be able to get more shots of us there, but there were many others waiting in line for their proud moment to be recorded. We snapped a few pictures and wandered away.

That was when I slowed down, looked up and around, and was awe-struck! Awe over the sight that surrounded me. Never in my life had I seen landscape such like it. White clouds spread all over, like surface of a cake, while the various peaks of the mountain stood magnificently, waiting to be admired.

I realized that I needed to take in the beauty as much as I could for as long as I could. I managed to squeezed my way through to get around the other side of the plaque, sitting at the edge of a rock by a cliff. Only 3 metal wires were holding people back from falling over.

I sat and stared. In front of me, the sun shone slightly above the span of rock formation on the opposite, with a deep valley separating us. The view was simply stunning to me, nature at it's gloriest that I'd seen. With clouds fringing the massive spread of rocks, I really felt like it was heaven, and I was very lucky indeed to have been there.

I remember thinking we were just like little ants on a huge rock. While we basked in the sun, while we basked in the joy of our achievement, while cameras snapped away, we should never forget to behold the magnificent beauty in our eyes and forever embed it into our minds. I remember wanting to sit there, for while if not for the day, just to savour as much as possible of nature's gift to mankind. I voted against taking out my phone to record the splendid view of the peak. I voted to let my mind be exercised to detail out and treasure that moment. I calmed down and looked.

Getting our photos taken at the proclamation plague didn't seem that important to me anymore. Remembering that magnificent view of the peak, the feeling of reaching the peak and the feeling of being enthralled by nature's work became far more important to me. Knowing I was there, and that I made it. Heaven on earth.

Happy Birthday, Me!

I've made it! Yes!!

It's only half the battle won, and that there is another half to go, but I'm just so proud of myself for winning this half right now. Thank you to those who pitched in.

Today is my birthday.

And for the first time in my whole life, I am alone on this occasion, in a foreign land. And also for the very first time in my life, this is the year where I don't get to for a series of birthday dinners/gatherings, pre- and post-actual day. There are friends here, of course, but unbeknown to them is the specialty of this date. I simply don't think it's relevant for them to know and also, well, we just met.

Well, alone is not a bad thing. Furthermore, the advancement of technology made it possible that though I was physically alone, I never was. I had the most interesting and touching dinner yesterday. I fulfilled my promise to myself to make a dinner and supper that I would like to have to signify the coming of this day, yesterday.

So, off I went to the hypermarket nearby in the late afternoon and had a wonderful time breezing around the aisles of groceries and taking my own sweet time to ponder and pick the things and groceries that I had wanted. It didn't seem like the most efficient way to do shopping, going about some aisles again and again, making and changing my mind again and again, but yesterday's was one of the best grocery shopping experiences that I ever had here.

In the end, I bought enough to make a dinner of half a fish, steamed with some black sauce mixed with thin slices of a red chilli, some garlics and 3 mushrooms; and a huge plate of stir-fried kangkung, also known in english as water glorybind, water spinach, water convolvulus and swamp cabbage, with a generous portion of sambal and some belacan for that homey-cooking style. I decided to throw in the last remaining tau chiew, or fermented beans, into that dish too, so the spiciness was a little toned down, not as hot as I had hoped it would be. Still, I was very happy with my two dishes for dinner yesterday. Satisfaction to a craving soul!

Once the dishes were done, I went straight to preparing the dessert, which was to be my supper. Lime/lemon tart, courtesy of my brother's tutelage some time ago. Juices from 2 limes and 1 lemon mixed into a whole can of condensed milk made the taste just right. As the recipe called for, I used crushed biscuits held together with melted butter as the base of the tart. Once the tart concoction had been spread evenly over the base, I left it in the fridge to chill and set, ready for my supper later.

I think I used close to 2 hours to prepare my birthday eve dinner and supper yesterday. I was sweating terribly when it was all done, but I wasn't complaining. A wave of satisfaction washed over me, really. It was something that I had wanted to do for myself and I made it.

Told you it was also a very touching time during dinner. Wanting to cool myself down for a bit before digging in, I had a peep at my computer and saw my brother online. Sent him a nudge and voila, he was there! Chatting with my parents at home. Yes, the challenge of having kids scattered from a long way from home is that the old-fashioned, self-professed technology-ignorant parents learnt to use technology as well, even though minimally.

So yes, dinner was great, and not alone, for we had sort of a conference, while I was having dinner, while my brother was having his lunch and my parents, post-dinner on last night, a Saturday night, the eve of my birthday. It had been a long time since we all had a chat together. Definitely a moment to be thankful and appreciative of.

Countdown to end of the birthday eve, a good friend accompanied me right up till midnight my local time. We brought together during university and since then, I think, we never missed celebrating each other's birthday, especially not in the last few years. Last night was the first time that we marked the occasion of my birthday online. One of my landmark birthdays, at that. Won't be the last, I think. Thank you, my dear, dear friend.

Hubbs too took the trouble to call me up, twice! Once at midnight his local time. He had wanted to surprise me by singing a birthday song through the phone but I accidentally cut off the line, not knowing whose number it was and while fumbling about the touch screen instructions. Sorry my dear, for my klutziness. He had another at midnight, my local time. This time, his song got through and I didn't missed it! Thank you very much, my dearest, for the kind thought and for the effort. So sweet of you.

As for myself, in between chatting with my friend, I had a slice of the lime/lemon tart, my treat for my birthday. It tasted great, though the tart a little bit runny. Had it with a small cup of red wine and some scented candles to romanticize the mood of the room and of course, mine as well.

So yes, it was an alone birthday, but yet, I certainly was not alone. I think this was one of the best birthday eve celebration that I ever had. Simple, sweet and very touching. It made me think that I have a lot to be thankful for. That I am not too bad since the powers above decided to let me have such a nice time, last night, to mark this special day. So yes, I've made it, half the battle has been won.

Thank you, everyone. It was great, thanks to all of you!

Of course, not forgetting, Happy birthday to me!