Thoughtless MPSJ

To the world,

Area : Puchong

Location : Bandar Puteri

Date : 27th July 2010

Fiasco Time : About 1135~1150

Duration : 1135 ~ 1300

Good day.

Last week, for the first time, I lost my car. I had parked my car beside a shop, at a place designated as motorcycle parking as the surrounding area were full and the only legal empty spot was beside a vehicle whose owners were fixing aircons. I was not the only car parked along that stretch.

After settling what I had to do, between 5-10 minutes, 15mins tops, I headed towards where I parked my car. It was just a minute's walk. So imagine my horror when I did not see my car there. I was just stunned.

Stolen! That was the first thought that crossed my mind! For a very long while, I stood around, looking about aimlessly. I even tried to think if I had parked somewhere else. Slowly, I noticed that the cars that were parked alongside my car were all gone, too. The 2 cars that were there then had just parked there.

I made my way to the shop and the manager took the trouble to explain to me that while I was gone, the tow truckers came along. In just about 2-3 minutes they towed away my car as I wasn't there to remove my car, immediately. Incidentally, another towed car passed his shop at that moment.

In my shock, I wasn't sure if I had thanked him or not. He even took the trouble to explain to me where they took my car to. To that manager of the that shop, thank you so much. A simple explanation such of that really managed to bring a little calm to my shocked soul, knowing that my car was not stolen.

My friend came all the way from work to rescue and help me get out of this unnecessary mess. And it wasn't that near to get here, took her about 30 minutes, while I waited for her along the main road, standing between 2 banks which occupies the corners of 2 rows of shophouses, making that short stretch in between hectic with passing cars.

What I want to point out are :

1. Why was my car towed away? I admit that I parked my car at the wrong place, but I think that a summon is suffice. I was not blocking the traffic flow nor the road. While I was waiting for my friend to arrive, I observed that cars that were parking illegally for a longer period than I did were not even looked at! Was it because they were at a busy stretch and towing it away would only cause a little more congestion?

2. Why was I charged the tow fee and the 'simpanan fee'? I did not ask my car to be towed to or 'stored' in the MPSJ premise.

3. Why was there not information at all on what happened to my car? If the shop manager did not inform me of what happened, I would just be standing, not knowing what happened. It is not a towing-zone, or at least I did not see any sign put up along that stretch to indicate such.

4. How can the MPSJ allow the tow-truckers to make the decision on which car to tow? How did they make that decision? Are they MPSJ officers? I guessed, perhaps they were paid on the number of cars they were able to tow. This is because cars that were parked in non-parking bay along the road on the short, busy stretch were not even given a look at. They just zoomed by (like maniacs). Once, I even saw one of them honking at a car in front, when it slowed down and stopped to let the driver reverse his car out from his parking spot. He didn't even bother to wait and just swerved to the opposite lane and sped away. Cars that were double-parked were also let go. My car was at stretch where the traffic is usually clear and smooth. And yet it was towed away.

5. Nothing was said or explain about the nature of my mistake by the attending officer. When I went to recover my car, all the officer did was to give me a form to sign, sort of a like a declaration that I agreed that I was wrong, asked for my IC and told me that I had already been given a discount, when I saw the amount. I didn't argue with her at that moment as I was a little shock and I need my car.

6. I parked in a parking for motorcyles and my car was deemed parked illegally and towed away. What about those motorcyclist who parked their vehicles in parking bays meant for cars? Is that done deemed illegal? Just a thought that crossed my mind.

Taking this opportunity, I would like to thank the manager and especially my friend, for their help.

I just felt that this towing operation was not well carried out. It made me feel that MPSJ just wanted 'fast and easy money' and the unfortunate rakyat became its cash cow. I was the unlucky few who was milked for the ringgits they need to fill up they coffers. The summon only encompassed approximately 30% of the total sum I paid to recover my car. The balance 70% went under the tow and 'simpanan' charges. I don't think that I should be charged the towing and 'simpanan' charges. And not to mention, the emotional stress on the victim. I guess they knew that we need our cars and most of us would pay up to get them back.

Can somebody help me? I want to send this out to the appropriate people, people who has the power to do something about this. I really feel strongly that this operation could be carried out in a better, more thoughtful manner.

Thank you.

Regards,

Cash Cow, Forced

Health: Attention disorders can take a toll on marriage Read more: Health: Attention disorders can take a toll on marriage

2010/07/26

TARA PARKER-POPE

Does your husband or wife constantly forget chores and lose track of the calendar? Do you sometimes feel that instead of living with a spouse, you’re raising another child?

Your marriage may be suffering from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. An A.D.H.D. marriage? It may sound like a punch line, but the idea that attention problems can take a toll on adult relationships is getting more attention from mental health experts.

In a marriage, the common symptoms of the disorder — distraction, disorganisation, forgetfulness — can easily be misinterpreted as laziness, selfishness, and a lack of love and concern. Experts suggest that at least four per cent of adults have the disorder, that as many as half of all children with A.D.H.D. do not fully outgrow it and continue to struggle with symptoms as adults, and that many adults with the disorder never received the diagnosis as children. Adults with attention disorders often learn coping skills to help them stay organised and focused at work, but experts say many of them struggle at home, where their tendency to become distracted is a constant source of conflict.

Some research suggests that these adults are twice as likely to be divorced; another study found high levels of distress in 60 percent of marriages where one spouse had the disorder. “Typically people don’t realise the A.D.H.D. is impacting their marriage because there’s been no talk about this at all,” said Melissa Orlov, author of The A.D.H.D. Effect on Marriage, to be published in September. Orlov says she began studying attention deficit’s toll on relationships after her husband received the diagnosis about five years ago.

Although she had been working for years with Dr Ned Hallowell, a leading researcher on the subject, Orlov had not realised that the disorder was also ruining her marriage. “I felt like he was consistently inconsistent,” she said in an interview.

“I could never count on him. It goes from feeling responsible for everything to just chronic anger. I didn’t like the person I’d become either.” (They are now happily married, she added.) Of course, complaints that a husband or wife is inconsiderate and inattentive, or doesn’t help enough around the house, are hardly limited to marriages in which one or both partners have attention problems.

But A.D.H.D. can make matters much worse. It can leave one spouse with 100 per cent of the family responsibility, because the other spouse forgets to pick children up from school or pay bills on time.

Partners without attention problems may feel ignored or unloved when their husband or wife becomes distracted — or, in another symptom of the disorder, hyperfocused on a work project or a computer game.

They may feel they have no choice but to constantly nag to make sure things get done. Spouses with attention deficit, meanwhile, are often unaware of their latest mistake, confused by their partner’s simmering anger.

A lengthy to-do list or a messy house feels overwhelming to the A.D.H.D. brain, causing the person to retreat to a computer or a video game — further infuriating their spouse. “It’s not because they’re lazy or they don’t love their spouse, but because they are distracted,” Orlov said.

“But if you don’t know that distraction is the issue, you start to think the person doesn’t care about you, and anger and resentment build up.” Although treatment often starts with medication, it typically doesn’t solve a couple’s problems.

Talk therapy may be needed to unpack years of accumulated resentments.

— NYT

Taken from the New Straits Times

Read more:

Health: Attention disorders can take a toll on marriage http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/Health_Attentiondisorderscantakeatollonmarriage/Article/#ixzz0usHZ6db5

Top 10 traits of Highly Successful People

We have all read about people who are successful briefly. They win a gold medal, make a fortune, or star in one great movie and then disappear.… These examples do not inspire me!

My focus and fascination is with people who seem to do well in many areas of life, and do it over and over through a lifetime. In entertainment, I think of Paul Newman and Bill Cosby. In business, I think of Ben and Jerry (the ice cream moguls)…As a Naval Officer, husband, businessman, politician and now as a mediator and philanthropist on the world stage, Jimmy Carter has had a remarkable life. We all know examples of people who go from one success to another.

These are the people who inspire me! I've studied them, and I've noticed they have the following traits in common:

1. They work hard! Yes, they play hard, too! They get up early, they rarely complain, they expect performance from others, but they expect extraordinary performance from themselves. Repeated, high-level success starts with a recognition that hard work pays off.

2. They are incredibly curious and eager to learn. They study, ask questions and read—constantly! An interesting point, however: While most of them did well in school, the difference is that they apply or take advantage of what they learn. Repeated success is not about memorizing facts, it's about being able to take information and create, build, or apply it in new and important ways. Successful people want to learn everything about everything!

3. They network. They know lots of people, and they know lots of different kinds of people. They listen to friends, neighbors, co- workers and bartenders. They don't have to be "the life of the party," in fact many are quiet, even shy, but they value people and they value relationships. Successful people have a Rolodex full of people who value their friendship and return their calls.

4. They work on themselves and never quit! While the "over-night wonders" become arrogant and quickly disappear, really successful people work on their personality, their leadership skills, management skills, and every other detail of life. When a relationship or business deal goes sour, they assume they can learn from it and they expect to do better next time. Successful people don't tolerate flaws; they fix them!

5. They are extraordinarily creative. They go around asking, "Why not?" They see new combinations, new possibilities, new opportunities and challenges where others see problems or limitations. They wake up in the middle of the night yelling, "I've got it!" They ask for advice, try things out, consult experts and amateurs, always looking for a better, faster, cheaper solution. Successful people create stuff!

6. They are self-reliant and take responsibility. Incredibly successful people don't worry about blame, and they don't waste time complaining. They make decisions and move on.…Extremely successful people take the initiative and accept the responsibilities of success.

7. They are usually relaxed and keep their perspective. Even in times of stress or turmoil, highly successful people keep their balance, they know the value of timing, humor, and patience. They rarely panic or make decisions on impulse. Unusually successful people breath easily, ask the right questions, and make sound decisions, even in a crisis.

8. Extremely successful people live in the present moment. They know that "Now" is the only time they can control. They have a "gift" for looking people in the eye, listening to what is being said, enjoying a meal or fine wine, music or playing with a child. They never seem rushed, and they get a lot done! They take full advantage of each day. Successful people don't waste time, they use it!

9. They "look over the horizon" to see the future. They observe trends, notice changes, see shifts, and hear the nuances that others miss. A basketball player wearing Nikes is trivial, the neighbor kid wearing them is interesting, your own teenager demanding them is an investment opportunity! Extremely successful people live in the present, with one eye on the future!

10. Repeatedly successful people respond instantly! When an investment isn't working out, they sell. When they see an opportunity, they make the call. If an important relationship is cooling down, they take time to renew it. When technology or a new competitor or a change in the economic situation requires an adjustment, they are the first and quickest to respond.

These traits work together in combination, giving repeatedly successful people a huge advantage. Because they are insatiable learners, they can respond wisely to change. Because their personal relationships are strong, they have good advisors, and a reserve of goodwill when things go bad. And finally, none of these traits are genetic! They can be learned! They are free and they are skills you can use. Start now!

Dr. Philip E. Humbert,

Author, speaker and personal success coach