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I am now stuck at a junction. This junction has four roads for me to choose from. Any one of them will determine my future course, and happiness. Time is short, and running. And yet i have to have time to choose.
The first road at this junction, is smooth and wide. The road is however, very winding, with uphills and downhills at almost every 5km. The bright side is that taking this option gives the most exciting, almost romantically surreal view. It's either you like the sweet romance that your mind might be fooled into, or you will feel nauseous after the first 5km. No in between.
For the second road, it's a little foggy at some sections. Visibility is not very good. At times, you might even get slightly off track to the side table of the road. The road is friendly though, with it's smooth surface and ample guide lines to the users. It is wide, accommodating, and quite straight, only peppered with the occasional turns, but that too, smoothly bended for good cruise control.
Third road is the one that i arrived the junction in. It is very straight, too straight at times, until being and using it, potential can cause an excited driver, like myself, to easily loose concentration. In worse case, scenario, like mine, i almost sped away like a crazy track racer after losing concentration. It does not help that the scenery along the road is filled with just trees. Green, shady leafy trees, canopying the road, providing shade for the user. It was this greeny arch, if you could compare it to that, that attracted me to this road. With the straightness of the road, one could almost believed that one has found the path to heaven on earth. But as you advance along the road, one will start to notice, little potholes and bumps that are creeping up along the road. Most are small, and negotiable. Some however, are difficult to avoid. Maintenance and repair works are too slow. I for one, am getting tired going through this path, bumping my head once too often, already.
The final option is a very dark road. Visibility is the poorest, and road condition is the worse. Too many potholes, bumps and foreign objects littered on road. No streetlamps, but the air is fantastically fresh. One cannot help but wonder, what is it that make the air so fresh at such terribly poor quality road. Are there traps laid at each bend to lure the unsuspecting me? It will take courage, super human courage to choose this path.
I am at a junction, now. This junction has four roads for me to choose from. Time is short, and running. And yet i have to have time to choose. Each one beckoning, each one terrifying me, too. To take one is to forgo all the others. I have only one chance.
~ -:- jsb -:- ~
It's fifteen minutes to seven in the morning, and i'm struggling to swallow my breakfast. The fried rice that i made, is slightly too dry, making it difficult for the rice to go down my throat. I actually had to wash it down with some coffee.
Taste wise, today's isn't that interesting. Too much pepper. And i don't quite fancy the colour, a little pale-ish for my liking. But what the heck, life's about learning, and experimenting, and of course, filling up an empty stomach!
I think it's quite easy for me to fill up my empty stomach. I eat little, am not quite choosy, and i can cook simple dishes. And so, to cook this fried rice for example, it is not a hassle, merely an experiment of say, taste-creation, ingredients matching, methodology, timing, and others.
It is to fill up an empty brain which i despair. I cant seem to do this as easily as others. I look, see, try to observe, listen, give my 1 cents worth, digest, each time i that i could, but seems like i'm still very lacking in expressing my thoughts, creatively, dynamically, logically, and clearly.
So many things will go through my minds, never taking their numbers. They just come, sit there, and mess up the brain. Occasionally, of course, some of them do give me interesting ideas, but always, there is no clear methods to follow up on that.
I want to be like others that i know too, so confident, speak so well and thoughtfully on their subjects, do things very creatively successful, understands others well enough to share their thoughts.
But how may i do that?
How do you practice being that?
How do you practice on doing those to be like that?
So please, someone, if you know how, share with me, on how to fill up my brain..
This little empty brain.
Thank you.
I'm been eyeing for this month to come by since last year. It's the NaNoWriMo time of the year again!
So,
Welcome, November;
WELcome, NaNoWriMo,
WELCOME, please, creative juices, i hope!
Actually the first time i found out about this was, if i was not mistaken, about 2 years ago. I was just browsing for some tips on writing, when i came across some article about this event. I'm not sure but i think that it was way pass November that time. Being the lazy being that i am, of course, that was taken as an excuse to NOT to try my hand at it, and the brain conveniently decided to bury that information somewhere in the tiny brain, without any GPS.
Anyhow, last year, by November, i was pretty busy when the month started. It was the clean up month at work for me, as i was serving my one month's notice, and was trying my best to leave as little shit as possible for the replacement guy. After all, i am but trying to be good, in this world.
I was finding all sorts of excuses to NOT to write, i guess, as after that period, i took about a week's break before beginning my now-utterly short stint in a new company. I did the holiday break thing, i did the cleaning up room thing, i did the banking thing, i did the getting sick thing, i did the gathering thing, but not this. Like i said, i think the mentality at that time was to avoid starting it since i had only one free week to spare in November.
So, last November had breezed away, and new November has just greeted me this morning, albeit slightly wet. This time, i shall not skip and let the brain work into overdrive to find excuses.
I want to try to do this, to write, on this NaNoWriMo. It doesn't have to be as long as the adviced length in NaNoWriMo category, as i think that it would be difficult for me to get good creative juices and language capability to work hand in hand this time around.
I just want to have a start. If i could start, i think i could open THE door in me, which has been closed for too long.
So, I hope. Wish me luck, jsb and all.
