2 days, too long!

I was made aware this year that after being a married lady, I am only entitled to go home to my hometown for a full day maximum, with half days before and after for travelling.

For wanting to go back home on the very first day of Chinese New Year so that I would be able to have dinner with my family, I am considered stubborn and breaking the Chinese tradition.

For wanting to stay longer this year, that is to have 2 full days in my hometown, to enjoy the Chinese New Year, I am considered selfish, unreasonable and uncompromising.

The first reason I got from my husband for the opposition of the first want, was it would be quite a rush to go down to my hometown on the very first day itself, which is an hour and a half drive away via the highway, if there's no traffic jam. How interesting!

The second reason I got was he wants to visit cousins and relatives. That is more important than having a dinner together with my family, even after knowing that my brother and his family will leave on the 2nd day of Chinese New Year.

That fact was even taken as point to show that traditionally the Chinese wives go back to their hometown only on the 2nd day. A point to note is my brother and family stays in the same town as his wife's. That was the third reason given to me as to why we should only leave for my hometown on the 2nd day.

The first reason I got for the opposition of the second want was one full day is enough to visit my family and dining.

The second reason given to me on this was visitings done within those 3 days were merrier.

So if we were to go back on the 1st day, we should only stay until the 3rd day. If we went back on the 2nd day, then it would be okay to go back on the 4th day. Which, essentially points that I am only entitled to a full day of Chinese New Year celebration back in my hometown.

A point note is our place, which we are not really staying, and my husband's hometown is the same, and that the fourth day is a Thursday. I agreed to stay until the day he is flying off, which is on the 9th day. So, would he be able to finish all his visitings in a day? Would he not do any visiting during the weekends?

I told him that he is free to back whenever he wants and really if that's the case, I don't think I would go up. He said, I was being selfish and that I basically threatened him into agreeing to what I want.

My question is why is it that me wanting to spend more than a day in my hometown during CNY, is considered selfish while him wanting to spend the rest of the CNY in his hometown, is not considered so? WHY? Oh and according to him, everybody he spoke to said that spending 2 full days in HIS WIFE's hometown is too long!

I really need insights from other passerby!

Stressed Out!

I feel stressed out now, and I feel I can use a drink or two.

Or more.

The coming of the Dragon is stressing me out!

Never to early for drinks, but where am I to get them?

LOVE THYSELF

And I wish.....all the best to the writer! Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Wednesday January 11, 2012

Free and spoiling myself silly

By LOVE THYSELF

MY life has always revolved around my children. Nurturing them to become successful and responsible adults has been my responsibility and, their interests, my priority!

Once they reached marriageable age, though, the situation changed with the introduction of their other half, someone who can help extend or break the family.

My son chose his girlfriend over me! His six-month relationship with the woman apparently supersedes his mother’s 29 years of sacrifices.

So distraught was I that I had bouts of insomnia and depression. The reality of a lost son hit me badly.

Thereupon I have realised that life is all about oneself and no other. Determined not to wallow in sorrow, I decided to put myself first and indulge in passions I had long shelved because of my earlier commitment as a mother.

I enrolled for music and dance classes. I treat myself to sessions at the beauty parlour and spoil myself with a daily body massage and hours of facial massage weekly – luxuries I once thought were a sheer waste of time and money.

I have changed my otherwise bland wardrobe, too, with the hope of growing old gracefully. I also pamper myself with trips abroad.

From within the comfort of my home, I further explore the world and expand my knowledge by surfing the Internet. One is never too old to learn.

For the first time since motherhood, I feel free of encumbrance and spend extravagantly with what would have been my children’s inheritance!

I have discarded any thought of clinging on to my children. To me, great are the parents who are independent of their children.

Whether gleeful, sad or miserable, we, ourselves, dictate our lives. I feel 22 instead of 52. Age is after all but a figure!

TAKEN FROM HERE : http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2012/1/11/lifefocus/10221986&sec=lifefocus

15 days before the Dragon arrives!

I need to start the countdown to Chinese New Year 2012 as soon as possible.

Perhaps then my mood to shop for the occasion will start growing?

I sure hope so.

Have not done any shopping yet for new clothes and shoes.

Worse still, don't have the oomph to do so!

So here it goes....

15 days to CNY 2012!

15 days before the Dragon arrives!

Lethargy in Passive Old Girl

I have never been an active person. I find that if I'm busy for too long a period, I will easily feel burnt out and lethargic in the mind. The body, of course, would have long been tired and exhausted from the over use.

But how long is long? Not sure. Right now, right up till the upcoming Chinese New Year celebration of 2012, I have all my weekends filled up with activities, starting roughly from the weekend before Christmas of last year. This is a far cry from my usual way of lazing the weekends away.

The business started with attending a BBQ organized by relatives from my maternal side for a small family gathering. That was the weekend before Christmas. It was certainly a great to catch up with them as I've not seen most of them for at least a couple of years. I then spent the next day with my former boss, when he was down here for a business trip, showing him around, rekindling his memories of Melaka.

Christmas weekend was celebrated by making Kuih Belanda for 2 straight days. It was under my persuasion and with some help from the stars, my mother and I ended up making the delicacy for Chinese New Year this year. What a wonderful way to relive my younger days and also to experience traditional way of making this delicacy. Hard work, but totally satisfying!

New Year 2012 was ushered in my own place, as Wonderful Guy came back on the eve. That weekend started with a rush to the airport to catch him and then we journeyed back home to his place and our place. They are of the same area. I spent the afternoon starting my mission to clean up our house to get it ready for the Chinese New Year after dropping him off at his parents'. A small dinner gathering at night to commemorate his parents' wedding anniversary and then it was back to work the next 2 days. After 2 long days of washing and vacuuming and cleaning up the house, I can now proudly say the house is 60% ready. I even managed to go round house-hunting with a friend and then the two of us had a small but wonderful dinner gathering together with another friend. I got Wonderful Guy to do the remaining since he would be there before I left for home.

This weekend is the fourth weekend buzzing with another round of some things to strike off the to-do list. Vacuuming of the downstairs done, roasting cashew nuts done, and last round of my bak kua experiment is in progress. I might just go ahead and vacuum the car if I still feel energetic enough later. Right now, I feel hot, my face is flushed and the area behind my knee is sweaty!

Next week, the plan is to do my shopping in the capital city, but right now I'm really having second thoughts on that. The tiredness is sipping in considerably now. Though I've managed to put ticks to quite a number of things on my to-do list, I've yet to work on my DIY projects, and that's giving me a little of stress mentally. That might be the trade off I had to do, so yes, I am seriously reconsidering my plan to driving up. The lethargy is kicking in surely into this passive old girl. Oh, by the way, did I mentioned that Auntie popped in for a visit since yesterday as well?

This Childish Game

It is so very hard for her to feel warm and supportive. As much as she understands the predicament the lady is in, she finds it difficult to sympathize for her condition. She did feel for the lady previously and could see how she needed the listening ear for her case. She did it wholeheartedly, with no reservations, as she understood very well the insecurities the lady were describing. She herself had had experienced being in that state.

However, overtime, she had been trying very to let go and learn how to overcome the feeling. It wasn't easy for her. At times, the negativity overwhelmed her and she found herself wallowing in self-pity time and again. But still she carried on, for she understood very well that nothing good would come out from focusing on negative things. She still tries everyday, even now. A baby step a day, maybe, and perhaps two steps back whenever she fails, but still she soldiers on, for to her, it is still a progress, for the sake of good living.

So, it seems to her that, this lady is unworthy of her support anymore. Time heals but she believes you first must allow yourself to open up to accept healing. From her observation, the lady isn't opening her heart and mind to accept any healing. She instead is adamant to stick to building a wall of stony silence around her, perhaps as a fortress to protect herself. It's really a little bit childish to see that behaviour being nurtured even more now rather than trying to move into a more mature way of handling things.

She wishes that the lady could see things, but knowing her character, her strong willed character, she only could feel that it's all in the lady's wish to continue building rather than slowly removing those bricks that she traps herself in. Her lock-down is really self imposed and only she can release herself, if she puts her mind into it. After all, the lady proved that she could break ices of chilly friendship if she put her mind into it. This is only but the same. Will of the mind and heart.

Life is too colourful to be supportive of this childish game any longer. She only wishes the lady good luck to a wonderful life in her self built confinement.

Happy New Year 2012!

Happy New Year 2012!

This wishes this comes early, since it's still within the first week of the new year!

Wishing everyone a blessed and prosperous new year!

I await the coming of the dragon, next!

Once again, Happy New Year!