Where did I go wrong?

~How To Save A Life~

Step one you say we need to talk

He walks you say sit down it's just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

You begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best

Cause after all you do know best

Try to slip past his defense

Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong

The things you've told him all along

And pray to God he hears you

And pray to God he hears you

CHORUS:

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice

You lower yours and grant him one last choice

Drive until you lose the road

Or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things

He will admit to everything

Or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

CHORUS:

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

How to save a life

CHORUS:

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

CHORUS:

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

then and now

My goal,

worded,

remains,

then and now,

that is to be with you.

Do my actions

justify and support

my goals?

What is yours?

Red flag Points

Red flag Points :

-bickering a great deal-

-withdrawing from one another-

-emotionally blackmailed, intimidated and drained-

-their sense of humor is right and they’re not abusing you, you’re too sensitive-

Disrespected, Disgusted

In doing this, I really felt disrespected and disgusted and still feel so. In reply :

1.Spent time at your house although I don't really feel comfortable.

2.Eat with your family many a times, all meals, whenever there.

3.CNY 80% of time spent at your place because you said you wanted to spend more time with your family.

4.Called your parents after you asked when wanted to meet up with the 2nd contractor. Had lunch together.

5.Called your mom for lunch once, but did not materialize as she was already engaged.

6.Let you bring your kids around when we go out, not just once.

7.Your kids slept with you even when I was around. Not just once.

8.Let you celebrate my birthday with your family even though I didn't want to, with candles for the kids.

9.Chat with your sister.

10.Went out with your parents numerous times when we went round.

11. Joined your friends' gathering, etc

12.Accepted Adrian's peace offering of grape? during your grandma's birthday after being snubbed by him during CNY.

13.Went along with supper with your family members, when I had just wanted to accompany you since they decided not to go.

14.Went CNY shopping with your family. Clothes, sugar cane, vegetables, etc.

15.See house with your parents before purchase finalized.

16.Accompany your parents to the hospital when your dad had follow up operation.

17.Accompany you and your mother to see doctor even though was tired after sports day.

18.Helped your mother in the kitchen once.

19.Played cards with your family during CNY.

20.Went over to your place for product demo.

21.Went over to your place to take things for you.

Define effort first before your poohed-pahed and snide and jeered after reading this.

But,

WHY DO I BOTHER TO DO THIS???????

What is the Secret, then?

I had had a good fortune to lay my hands on works a famous someone who teaches people how to achieve their dream.

It is really a straightforward read, simple enough for the layman to understand and practise.

Focus on what you want, and all the earth's energy in the universe will help you attain it.

Why the sudden interest in bringing up this subject again?

I do believe that I had before this touched on this subject.

Just a thought crossed my mind this morning, as I lay down on my bed, unintentionally waiting for the snooze alarm to ring. I want to sleep but my mind does otherwise, often of late.

If two individuals, whose lives are entwined and intersected with roles and responsibilities of a similar natures but of different capacity. If two individuals, whose paths are crossed in their lives to create one path, is that path truly a path or is that path actually two paths placed on top of each other, creating the illusion of one?

If rightly so that the path is one, then what happens to the path?

Who controls it, since it was created in the very first place by two individuals?

Nevertheless, even a conjoined twin has differences in opinions, let alone 2 persons.

What if their goals and desires are different, but on similar things?

They focus on the same thing but with different outcome in their minds.

What happens then?

How would the universe's energy conspire to help them, each? Or individually? Or neither?

Explore this aspect and help me.

JUMP!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

JUMP!

.........but there's NO cushioned landing in sight!!!

arrrggghhhhh!

Am I?

Mate said, I am too focus on myself and care not enough of others. In sum, I am a self-centered, rebellious b*tch.

Am I?

Perhaps I am looking through a narrow tunnel to see the end, and could only see what the cylindrical sides limit me to see.

Am I?

I am too lazy to lift up the pick, to dredge the sides, for a better, more-opened view.

Am I?

Maybe I am just too stubborn.

Am I?

On giving

On Giving

You give but little when you give of your possessions.

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?

And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?

And what is fear of need but need itself?

Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, the thirst that is unquenchable?

There are those who give little of the much which they have--and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.

And there are those who have little and give it all.

These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.

There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.

And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.

And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;

They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.

Through the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.

It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;

And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving.

And is there aught you would withhold?

All you have shall some day be given;

Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.

You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."

The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.

They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.

Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights, is worthy of all else from you.

And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.

And what desert greater shall there be, than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?

And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?

See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.

For in truth it is life that gives unto life while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.

And you receivers... and you are all receivers... assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.

Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;

For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the freehearted earth for mother, and God for father.

~ K G ~

Live, doomed

I think I am doomed.

I live by intuition, or what some might refer to as 'feeling'.

I live by rebelling, towards anything and everything.

I live nonchalantly, most of the time, I think.

I live similar to a bullhead.

And yes, I live very privately, so I am politely cool to most people.

So, these are my excuses.

These are also my way of surviving my world.

They may not be self-improving, but I live according to them.

And, I hate trespassers or echoes. Very much.

So, I think I am doomed.