Just a little fish..

And I thought I could kill 3 birds with one stone! In the end, I only managed to kill 2 birds only, and the last one escaped! What am I talking about? Hah, school of course!

Today, as mentioned, I was scheduled to follow a trip to a Special Needs School, somewhere in the city. We were supposed to start the trip at 1pm and scheduled back here latest by 430pm. In the mean time, my department head had also scheduled the monthly department meeting today, to start at 350pm and, if like those previously ones, by 5pm, the meeting would be done. The last one, was Power Fun time, the weekly activity which takes place in the school hall. An hour of fun-learning for the students, starting from 230pm right up to 330pm.

Now, among all these three activities, only the last one is on a weekly basis, while the other two are just one time activities, if I am lucky enough. So I was actually quite glad when I learnt that the schedules of the two one time activities clashed with each other. That meant that I just have to attend one in full, while the other half way through. In other words, I just needed to spend a day of extended work, and both would be settled.

Now, imagine my disappointment when I saw a note placed on my shelf, after coming back from the trip, informing that the meeting has been postponed. I could only sigh, really. Suddenly, I lost all mood and push to stay positive again. Postponement only points out that I have to sacrifice another evening to attend that meeting! It's tiring, really, to be awake for over 12 hours straight, to attend to a meeting and discussed things which, in the end, if the outcome is not to what is wanted, might just be vetoed over by the larger hands.

What can I do, though. I am just a little fish trying to stay alive in a very toxic and murky pond!

What a @#^&*^!@*%self!

In the blink of an eye, July's coming to an end! Time flies, no doubt! I am heading towards another phase of my life very soon, and yet, I have yet to make any preparations for it. I am really not practising the 7 habits, falling yet again into the cycle of laziness and lackadaisical attitude.

And here I am, on this Thursday night, trying my best to post something of substantial importance and length, in hopes that I may use the post for my weekly journal submission to my HOD. So far, i had posted 1, the one before this, but that I am not satisfied. This too, I don't think that would be suitable for that purpose. After all, I do not want to be killed, unnecessarily.

All evening, I had been avoiding this. Postponing the important stuff, which was not urgent till now. It is urgent now? Yes! Tomorrow's the dateline and I had yet anything prepared! How efficient! And what was the more important thing that I had pushed this back and attended to that?

Playing game! Yes, I heard myself, Oh My Goodness! Totally unproductive day! What a @#^&*^!@*% self!, I am!

Moments to Remember <3 ..Special Needs Kindy Visit

It was such an eye-opening experience. I am really thankful that I had the opportunity to experience it. What am I blogging about?

Well, my school had arrange for this one outing for some of the P4 students to go and help out at Special Needs School or more accurately, would be a kindergarten. It would be a weekly visit, each time different teachers accompanying different group of 8 students there. Today, I was my turn.

I had never lend myself into such activity so far, so this was my first visit. Certainly, seeing the children with various characters and characteristics, so special in their own way, I cannot but feel an admiration for the teachers there. It certainly requires patience and much skill to get tap into their attention span and teach them.

And here I am thinking why some of my students are behaving the way they are! Well, compared to those children there, I am certainly just blessed to get naughty children. At least, they understand what you are saying and their attention span goes far beyond seconds!

That said, though, I do not think that I would want to visit the place again, at least not without any friends around. It certainly needs courage to go there. And also, not during school hours. I was exhausted by the time I got back. You need to be fit to be a teacher, and you need to be VERY fit to a teacher in Special Needs school.

Happy birthday, Ms Principal!

It was interesting to observe how the school celebrated Ms Principal's birthday. Yes, we were told when her birthday was and a small celebration was held in the staffroom.

That wonderful day was yesterday, and I was informed later on that she was already nearly approaching her forties. I was surprised to learn that, as she doesn't look a day over thirty five!
Anyway, we were asked to come by 0720 on that morning, as some of the pillar bearers had something arranged. Indeed, they had!

About ten minutes to time, paper hats were distributed to all the teachers. Yes, hats made out of newspaper. Simple folded hat, not unlike a halfway boat. Everyone was required to wear them. I had trouble making mine stay on the head, but somehow, I managed. It was weird.

Next, I noticed that cakes, three cakes, were being prepared. Candles were lit and arranged on the cakes. After that, three teachers took the cake a little further away from the front of the staff room, kinda to hide it away from obvious sight.

Next, we were told to hide ourselves. How we were to do it, was up to us, up to our heads, importantly neither we nor our pointy hats were to be seen. I took off my hat and just sat on the floor at my place, too lazy to squat. I could see pointy hats everywhere though. Yet, in my head, I just couldn't help but think that it was just so obvious that something was going on as the lights were switched off. That never happens unless there was blackout!

After that, the lights went off. By that time, almost everyone was already waiting for Ms Principal to come. Me, too. I was eagerly waiting, though I wasn't too sure if I was that eager to see her reaction. Funny feeling.

Then she came, following the former BM head. Yes, she was the bait to lead Ms Principal up later than usual. When she came it, we all shouted, surprised, if I wasn't mistaken. And then we all sang the birthday for her. Was she surprised? In my honest opinion, no. I think she knew that we would be arranging something for her.

Confettis were sprayed after the singing of the song had ended. The floor of the first table was in a mess, but this girl couldn't resist to pick up of the confettis, before they were polluted by the soles of shoes.

With the help of glue, I couldn't resist to paste some of it on my hat, in hopes to decorate it and add some colour to it. It certainly helped spruce up the hat, a little.

After the customary deliverance from her and her deputy, we all headed to the hall for the assembly. Oh ya, forgot, we were required to wear our hats to the hall! Indeed, a simple celebration. Yet, I think that why not have one each month, to celebrate everybody's birthday. We are but staff of the same school. We but make the system work, didn't we? Something to be considered about, eh? :D

Aren't we, girl?

Guilty, I should not feel,
Wrong, I did nothing,
Respect, I always had for you,
Friends, aren't we, girl?

Why, I ask you,
Selfish, your actions,
Clouded, your words,
Friends, aren't we, girl?

Wrong, your choices,
Treasure, you did not,
Push, why didn't you,
Friends, aren't we, girl?

Guilty, I am not,
Wrong, you choices,
Fight, you gave up,
Friends, are we still now?

Thank You For Second Chances

I cannot say this enough, but I really love him.
This is one person whom I know I will feel very lost if I were to lose him, now.
I have grown accustomed to have him around me, and to have his love for me.
I feel very safe and secure, even more now than before, because he is there for me.
Yet, I know, I must not neglect to grow myself, on my own.
Nurture myself, as much as I can, and ask for his help when I should.
Oh, I so love him!
Thank you so much for second chances...

A few good.. souls

Perhaps the saying, people are truly good at heart, is true. Again, I was demonstrated how wonderful and helpful people can be, if only we have faith in them.

Last weekend, after a tiring but fulfilling weekend, I could only managed back home late. It was almost 11pm when I reached my housing area. Since I am staying in an apartment, and it is my turn this month to park my car outside, I prayed hard that there would be an empty parking slot along the road, somewhere not too far from the guard house.

Unfortunately, by the time I arrived the guard house, I came across none, and the nearest was empty place was almost to another housing area's guard house, which was about 300 m away, walking in faintly-lit road.

I went in, telling the guard I wanted to drop off my things. He told me not to be long. Putting my things in the living room, I casually mentioned to my friend that the 'parking was full'. Then, she gave a very good suggestion.

'Why don't you ask the guard if you can park inside, just for tonight, albeit illegally? After all, you leave very early in the morning,' she suggested. I thought about it, and decided to follow her advice. Downstairs I went again, this time walking straight to the guard post.

The guard was there. As usual, he was sitting there watching the cctv, apart from doing other things. I braved myself and asked him if I could just let my car remain near the foyer of my block for the night, as the parking outside along the road was just too filled up. He said no, I could only park there for an hour.

Not giving up, I quickly asked him if there were other spots where I might park illegally, just for the night. He thought for a while and then, told me, there was and asked me to go my car and wait for him. I saw him taking his motorcycle keys as I was walking back to my block. Thank you! Thank you! I screamed in my heart!

I had to wait for him for a couple of minutes at my car before he arrived. He then gestured me to bring my car and follow him. I did. He indicated the spot where I could parked my car for the night. Right opposite the swimming pool! Quickly I went in. I learnt that the owner of the bay didn't have a car but didn't want to rent out the spot. I thanked him profusely before he left.

Indeed, this episode just showed me that there are still good people around. I still could not stop feeling grateful to him, and my friend, and myself. One for the leniency, one for the suggestion, and one more for the courage. Thank you so much, all. Else, I would have dreaded waking up the next morning, for I hate walking to the car in the dark too far. Paranoid!

R.I.P. Shattered bits of One-third!

Why, is it difficult to just state what was the question that required a confirmation from me?

You were one of my closest friend before, yet, what had transpired just now was totally not reflecting that at all. It gave me the chance to question what we had built before was genuine or not? I'm just surprise that of all persons, you will be the one to let a guy get in between us.

May you rest in peace then. I treasure still, what you have given me, what we had built. I had hope that this is one of those relationship and friendship which will last through thick and thin, left and right, up and down, over and under, weather all storms, tornadoes, spiteful hearts..everything in short! I guess, I am just too naive in heart.

May you rest in peace, gal! The last bits of one-third bond has finally shattered!

Cut-S

It was one of those days where I found it just difficult to bring myself out of bed. My mind just took so long to wake up, but I knew that I had to. Lazily, I got up.

As usual, I went straight to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I had planned to prepare sardine sandwiches for myself. I took out the 2 pieces of sardine fish given by my mother from the fridge and poured them into a bowl. I then placed the bowl into the steamer, heating the sardines.

Quickly, I made my coffee, took out some bread, preparedd the half boiled egg and then went to brush my teeth. After that, I headed back to the kitchen to check on my sardines. Satisfied they were warm enough, I turned off the head and opened the steamer lid. I mashed up the sardines and spread some on the slices of bread. Just nice, I had thought, when the final bits of the sardines were spread on the last piece of the bread.

I touched the tip of the bowl, lightly. It was not that hot any longer. Using my right hand, I took the bowl and tried to bring it to the sink, which was jsut like, say, 30cm away.

It must had been hotter than I thought because bfore I could reach the sink, it accidentally slipped from my hand and landed on the counter before the sink. I looked at the bowl. It had broken into 2 parts, nicely. I was shocked! Picking it up, wanting to throw it away, I noticed drops of blood in the sink. Lots and lots of them. Then I saw. My thumb was bleeding!

I turned on the tap and put my hand under the running water. Blood kept oozing out from the cut. Yet, I thought, so much for just one cut. I looked around and then noticed, oh my, another deeper cut at my middle finger!

And then the pain started...